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bigmac

Very sick wife

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43 minutes ago, bigmac said:

WOW! Just WOW!

If you think thats not real then you have been living under a rock. Tread carefully. 

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6 hours ago, graham59 said:

I experienced no difficulties whatsoever. ..and that was 3 YEARS AGO.

yep 3 years ago. It takes 4 years to update info on websites so 3 years ago your experience could be just that. 

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5 hours ago, graham59 said:

(Always consult the relevant websites for up to date information/requirements.  :wink: )

I know you are joking right? 

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Is your wife aware that you now know  about the scam ?

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5 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

I know you are joking right? 

No, I was just trying to be helpful to those who may not have experienced the real life situation, as I have.

Of course it's just as easy not to do so, if you think it's a joke.  

Have you looked at the embassy website recently ?

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9 minutes ago, graham59 said:

No, I was just trying to be helpful to those who may not have experienced the real life situation, as I have.

Of course it's just as easy not to do so, if you think it's a joke.  

Have you looked at the embassy website recently ?

Not yet. Ideas? Suggestions?

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6 hours ago, bigmac said:

What happens if they get embarrassed?

As has been highlighted it's a culture difference here that is so alien to most in the West that we find it hard to believe they could be like it. 

They can lie, cheat and steal all week and be God fearing for an hour on a Sunday.

You get into an argument with one, even if they are in the wrong they'll almost be proud that all their friends jump in. There's no such a thing in my experience of a one on one fight and they hold a grudge. 

Most provincial towns are run by a couple of families and most families are large. You pick a fight with one and they will have contacts all the way to the Mayor via the police. That's why you should head the advice of not pushing things via the local police. The National Bureau of Investigations is the way ahead. Don't even go to the area. Deal with everything from a distance. Life is cheap here and at times the punishment doesn't fit the crime.

As an example a female friend of mine saw on Facebook a post by her half sister showing her with a bruise on her face and the message " I still love you. " She hadn't seen her in years but messaged her and found out her boyfriend had beaten her. My friend took a six hour coach trip to find the boyfriend and casually walked up to him and stabbed him 3 times in the chest before getting dragged away. She was locked up overnight and in front of a local judge the next afternoon then let out on a bail of 2k peso. One month later all charges were dropped. 

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1 minute ago, Snowy79 said:

As has been highlighted it's a culture difference here that is so alien to most in the West that we find it hard to believe they could be like it. 

They can lie, cheat and steal all week and be God fearing for an hour on a Sunday.

You get into an argument with one, even if they are in the wrong they'll almost be proud that all their friends jump in. There's no such a thing in my experience of a one on one fight and they hold a grudge. 

Most provincial towns are run by a couple of families and most families are large. You pick a fight with one and they will have contacts all the way to the Mayor via the police. That's why you should head the advice of not pushing things via the local police. The National Bureau of Investigations is the way ahead. Don't even go to the area. Deal with everything from a distance. Life is cheap here and at times the punishment doesn't fit the crime.

As an example a female friend of mine saw on Facebook a post by her half sister showing her with a bruise on her face and the message " I still love you. " She hadn't seen her in years but messaged her and found out her boyfriend had beaten her. My friend took a six hour coach trip to find the boyfriend and casually walked up to him and stabbed him 3 times in the chest before getting dragged away. She was locked up overnight and in front of a local judge the next afternoon then let out on a bail of 2k peso. One month later all charges were dropped. 

I'm getting different advice from different people. Some say follow the chain of command starting with the Brgy Catain and then others say.

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32 minutes ago, bigmac said:

I'm getting different advice from different people. Some say follow the chain of command starting with the Brgy Catain and then others say.

Have you ever considered that your wife might counter claim and you could get blacklisted by immigration.It does not need to be a truthful accusation for it to cause you problems.For something this serious(if you are going to pursue it) it is best to do it from a distance and keep yourself safe.Things are changing here for the better but you could still get locked up on an accusation and be there for a long time.

Edited by sonjack2847
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1 hour ago, bigmac said:

I'm getting different advice from different people. Some say follow the chain of command starting with the Brgy Catain and then others say.

Again without knowing your partner I wouldn't know who her family are connected to. There is a time and a place for the Barangay Captain but this I think is way out of his league. 

They are used to dealing with village squabbles amongst locals and do have some power as you can bet the title is handed down through families. 

It really does taking living here for a couple of years to see how things work ( or don't). Every day is a school day here where I'm learning pitfalls that I'd never dream of in the West. 

If you sit at home and play happy families here you can be blind as to what goes on. If you live in an area with lots of Ex Pats and socialise you'll hear and see things that will make your hair stand on end. It's not all bad, some have fantastic relationships but in this culture it only takes one accusation and your World can come tumbling down. 

I'm guessing the area where your partner lives is pretty poor and poverty can breed corruption. My partner is from near Ronda, Cebu. She thought it was a relatively poor area but she's just visited her Mother who she hasn't seen in about 20yrs down in Mindanao to a village called Macanhan. They don't have electricity there and use well water. Education levels are very poor and she says lying is a way of life. Everything she's asked family members is twisted and different answers depending who she asks. She's even discovering blood brothers she thought she had were fathered by different men. Disagreements are sorted out in the jungle with knifes with little fear of repercussions if it's local against local. Once a foreigner is involved it's a whole different matter. 

One false accusation against you could be worth a few years wages in bribes to a local which could make the accusations go away. Stay well clear and deal with it from afar. 

 

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