Women 50+ here and in the West

[peterfe]

When I lived in Norway (but it could have been almost any Western country), I was struck by the number of women 50+ living alone and obviously very lonely. I felt sorry for them, as I knew some of them personally. I think it must be much easier to be an unattached woman 50+ in the Philippines! The Western woman will have 0-2 children and grandchildren, who may live hundreds of km away, whereas the Filipina will have 2-4 children, some of whom most likely live nearby in the extended family situation. Even in the unlikely event that all her children and grandchildren have gone to Manila, there will still be plenty of little ones around to cuddle. The Western woman will sleep alone, whereas the Filipina will almost certainly sleep with other female members of the extended family and/or their children. Basically, the Western woman will have very little physical contact and often no little ones to love and who will give her affection on a regular basis, whereas the Filipina will have plenty.

So maybe it's not surprising that some very lonely Western women 50+ go to places like Jamaica, where the young man will tell them how beautiful they are, how much he loves them, etc. As Johnny Winter puts it, "She know what she want, but she don't know what she need". What the Western woman needs is probably not primarily sex, but physical contact, someone (e.g. a little child) to love and be loved by, and the feeling of being part of, and with, a big family. Which the 50+ Filipina will usually have 

[graham59]

I suppose this could apply equally to 50+ men ?  

[Kuya John]

Women50+

Good observation on your part Peterfe

However I have also notice here in UK a high number of OSW nurses that choose remain single even at a lot younger age.

I heard it said that it is quite common for some Filipina's, to also remain virgin's into their forty's

Strong family ties may well be a source of contentment in a lot of cases and the need felt to support folks back home.

With regards to Western Women 50+, speaking from my own circumstances as a single male in my fifties at that time,

 possible partners around that age, tended to be divorcees, widow's or old maids

Finding a suitable partner becomes a lot harder to find once you reach 50+ in Western society, obviously this does not apply

to those who choose to remain "Swingers" but I'm sure even they eventually experience emptiness or loneliness once their attractiveness fades.

Just my thought's on this interesting subject.

Edited August 10, 2020 by Kuya John

[graham59]

When I was 50 my current Mrs was only 16. 

[peterfe]

14 hours ago, graham59 said:

I suppose this could apply equally to 50+ men ?  

Interesting point. There didn't seem to be so many lonely men 50+ in Norway. I think a man of 55 in Norway could quite easily find a woman of 35, which he might prefer, leaving the 55-year-old women on the shelf. But if the man didn't find a partner, yes, I think life would be easier in the Philippines. There is more physical contact between men here, and if he liked cuddling babies and children, there would no doubt be plenty available in the extended family.

[peterfe]

13 hours ago, Kuya John said:

However I have also notice here in UK a high number of OSW nurses that choose remain single even at a lot younger age.

I heard it said that it is quite common for some Filipina's, to also remain virgin's into their forty's

Yes, I noticed a number of 30+, probably unattached, Filipina nurses when I was in hospital in Saudi Arabia. If you're single, you may well stay for a long time to help your family, and then you remain a virgin until your 40s. Whereas if you're a single mother with 3 children, you might leave them with grandmother for a couple of years while you went to Dubai or wherever, but not for 20 years!

[GeoffH]

3 hours ago, peterfe said:

 Whereas if you're a single mother with 3 children, you might leave them with grandmother for a couple of years while you went to Dubai or wherever, but not for 20 years!

There is an ate in the family who left to be an OFW as a nanny to an upper middle class family in one of the middle eastern countries?  Umm UAE, I forget?

But she's been doing it for ages, she comes home every 2 years for a visit for a few weeks but her 2 children have basically been raised by her sister.

Don't know where the father is, he's not in the picture but she supports the kids and the sister.  I think it's coming up on 10 years now .

[graham59]

3 hours ago, peterfe said:

There is more physical contact between men here, and if he liked cuddling babies and children, there would no doubt be plenty available in the extended family.

Understand what you're saying, but THAT is a definite no-no for foreigners in the Philippines...beyond nephews and nieces related by marriage.  (The relevant law has been discussed on here many times before) .

[graham59]

10 minutes ago, GeoffH said:

But she's been doing it for ages, she comes home every 2 years for a visit for a few weeks but her 2 children have basically been raised by her sister.

Don't know where the father is, he's not in the picture but she supports the kids and the sister.  I think it's coming up on 10 years now .

A very common situation, from my experience here. Seems to work okay though. 

[peterfe]

2 hours ago, graham59 said:

Understand what you're saying, but THAT is a definite no-no for foreigners in the Philippines...beyond nephews and nieces related by marriage.  (The relevant law has been discussed on here many times before) .

Yes, I think you realised I was talking about a Filipino man 50+ living here in his extended family, I was not suggesting that a lonely Western man 50+ should come here and cuddle other people's children!!