Moving to a different part of the Philippines

[RBM]

15 hours ago, hk blues said:

We live about 30 minutes drive from the family. It's close enough to be convenient but far enough to be not too convenient.

It's case by case but for us there has never been any reason to put some distance between us and them. 

For me, it would have been strange to come to live in my wife's own country yet far from the family. Others have their reasons I understand. 

 Pretty much identical to my situation, sister about 40 minutes drive.

Although we never have an issue its nice that little bit of distance as would not like them here 24/7 which could happen. Texting non stop is bad enough. The good side is they are in a farming community so each Sunday while they are non stop yap yap an my job which I love is walking the dogs out in the sugar cane fields, never see anything except nature, guess a win win.

 

[Kingpin]

19 hours ago, stevewool said:

everyone says that you need to be as far away as possible from the family if you decide to move to the Philippines

Or find a girl without a family, that solves one or two billion potential problems. But if you can't do that, then yes move to at least a different island and make your own family with her there.

[hk blues]

2 hours ago, Kingpin said:

Or find a girl without a family, that solves one or two billion potential problems. But if you can't do that, then yes move to at least a different island and make your own family with her there.

Not that many orphans around though!

It's not a given that family=problems. Steve himself is the only one who can know if his partner's family are problematic and sufficiently so to mean a little distance needs to be put between them.  

[Kingpin]

3 hours ago, hk blues said:

It's not a given that family=problems.

Filipinas feel obligated to help their families, if an expat like Steve wants to accept each and every one of those obligations forever, no problems.

[hk blues]

26 minutes ago, Kingpin said:

Filipinas feel obligated to help their families, if an expat like Steve wants to accept each and every one of those obligations forever, no problems.

That's a generalisation though, you make it sound like an inevitability. I've seen it time and time again with the big-hearted foreigner splashing the cash to curry favour and they then wonder why the family expect the gravy train to continue ad infinitum.  

Alternatively, I struck it real lucky and found the only one who is different! 

[stevewool]

52 minutes ago, Kingpin said:

Filipinas feel obligated to help their families, if an expat like Steve wants to accept each and every one of those obligations forever, no problems.

That would be wonderful if it was true, those that choose not to work but can and these are mainly male sit on there arses expecting freebies , I must add not all people are like this , but I refuse to feed and support these folk 

[GeoffH]

7 minutes ago, stevewool said:

That would be wonderful if it was true, those that choose not to work but can and these are mainly male sit on there arses expecting freebies , I must add not all people are like this , but I refuse to feed and support these folk 

Luckily there are only a couple of those (cousins) in the family here and even SWMBO and her brother and sister have basically given up on them.

[stevewool]

55 minutes ago, GeoffH said:

Luckily there are only a couple of those (cousins) in the family here and even SWMBO and her brother and sister have basically given up on them.

I have them in my family here but I tell them to there face to swing it and get a job , but the family in the Philippines is so different the wives work so hard but there husbands don’t work at all ,then they have the nerve to ask us to help them out .

[expatuk2014]

The thing you have to remember is Filipinos are very much family orientated ! They celebrate birthdays and the day a family member died ! And then there is all souls day when the whole Philippines go to the graves to spend the day with their past family members ! I married my Filipina wife in 2002 and for me I am part of her Family personally i would never dream of moving away from her family ! However sadly over the years she has lost her Father and her Mother and also 4 brothers

She now has a younger sister who lives next door and a Brother who has just returned from saudi and he lives with his son and his wife. Luckily i  have never encountered problems with family members unlike other forum members . And yes my wife may be a small woman but she is a very strong willed woman . And meeting her and marrying her were the best things in my life !

 

 

[Kingpin]

7 hours ago, hk blues said:

I've seen it time and time again with the big-hearted foreigner splashing the cash to curry favour and they then wonder why the family expect the gravy train to continue ad infinitum. 

That can extend to everyone, workers, helpers, you generously give them a bonus or a tip, and then it's expected, you're "the foreign who gives bonus and tips", to everyone, forever.  It's a delicate balance, another lesson expats learn the hard way.