Requesting Expat's Advice About Marriage And Moving To The Philippines ( Samal Island ) ...

[Gino64]

Hello to  Anyone who reads this, 

  Greetings from Eugene City, Oregon, The U.S.A. !

     Well, I met a lady over in the Philippines on line and she lives on the :   Island Garden City of Samal  adjacent to Davao city.  I was thinking to fly over there and visit with her and see how it works out..  If it turns out well, ( I figured just to marry her there and stay ).  She wants me to live there as opposed to coming to America.   I've Never been to  the PI before .  I have lived and worked in Seoul  S.Korea  4 years and mainland Dalian, China for 6 years.   I'm used to being an Expat, so it doesn't cause me any great difficulties to do it again.     ( At Least There it's Warm ) !!!    I just found this WEBSITE  today and had Hoped that maybe some of you could Give Me Any Advice and make Online Friends with...    

Thank You for taking your time to read my letter !

Have A Great Day !

Gino !!!

 

[Jollygoodfellow]

Simple. Do not commit to anything until you have spent time here.  Yes come and visit and only then you might get an idea of the real situation.

[Dave Hounddriver]

2 hours ago, Gino64 said:

I was thinking to fly over there and visit with her and see how it works out

You are part of a growing and thriving group of Westerners who have intentions to marry a Filipina and live happily ever after, without losing your shirt.  Now what are the odds of that:

 

[Freebie]

Been here on and off for 30 plus years.....man I dont know where to start with your post and hope you arent trolling us here.

Come here, meet the lady, look around, then leave. Return a few weeks later and go to some different places so you start to have a basis of comparison.

Do and go to the places that might interest you, not where this lady suggests.

DO NOT meet her family. Very very important that you dont even though she will try and set you up 100 times to do so.My opinion, others will say you cant see the lady without meeting her family , Im sure.

 

Take some time to yourself when visiting here and perhaps like many you will think, there are a gret many ladies her each one more attractive or interesting than the next... For many therir marriage intention flew out the window when they realised they had unnecessarily pre limited themselves in term of selection. Take your time.. this is an interesting chaotic madening frustrating chaotic ( again ) country with noise everywhere, some nice places, tremendously overpopulated with basic transport infrastructure.. takes tinme getting used to. Dont box yourself into a corner just because youve had nice chats with one lady.....

[hk blues]

I'll take the poster at face value although my spider senses are tingling just a little!

The fact this forum exists is evidence that Westerners can and do make a go of it with a Filipino wife/partner - not all posters are in a relationship with a local but probably most are.

But, I'd imagine most of us did some due diligence and thought with both heads before committing to making a life here.

For sure, come over, meet your gf but take your time to get to know her and, in time, the lay of the land with her family. I know it's difficult and probably unrealistic to spend a lot of time here but it's the only way.

Good Luck!

[CebuAndy]

Hi @Gino64

You can easy find 1000's of women interested in relationship with you, and when you say the M word for marriage, a few Million women will line up for your attention.

Online women often have 20-50-100 other men also interested in her. Don't expect to be her only suitor.

Marriage .... no divorce similar to western world, annulment that can drag out in time, and cost $2,000+ from what I hear before. Know her well 2-3 year minimum, before enter marriage.

Living in the Philippines, I guess easiest for those who grew up in the province themselves, not fussy about anything, easy going and don't need western world comfort, quality, infrastructure. Patience will get a new meaning, if living in the Philippines. Without patience, many things will become a daily irritation.

Made many expat friends 10 years ago, most left years before covid. Indicates that living in the Philippines isn't easy, takes a certain personality and attitude.

You never been to the Philippines. Over time, poor infrastructure, slow unreliable internet, lines at check out supermarkets, banks with 30-50 people before you. Out Of Stock, is common everywhere. Weather, earthquakes, rain for days, black/brown out. Traffic gridlock, air polution. The list goes on and on.

Are you mentally prepared and can you accept this?

I suggest take it very slow, don't rush into a relationship or marriage. You are 'king' in the Philippines, you have many options, take it slowly.

I suggest come to the Philippines a few times first, 3-6 months stay each time - before you move (or deside not to).

To find a sweet cute women for relationship and marriage 2-3 years later, will guaranteed not be a problem. Guaranteed. Don't rush, whatever you want to do.

You will find expats who are welcoming to new expats, as long one behave normal. Read all you can about expat life, before make any kind of move /  commitment.

It isn't for everyone.

 

[Tommy T.]

I spent over three years on Samal Island...

Resources there are slim. The few grocery stores stock mainly only the basic Filipino-preferred foods. Some fresh meats/fish/veggies are available at the one wet market in the main village named Babak (be prepared for insistent street kid beggars when you shop there) and at the NCCC store. Western goods are few and far between on Samal - you really need to shop in Davao City, and often visit two or three grocery stores in various malls to find all you want in one visit...

Prices are higher there than in nearby Davao City....but then it is an (often annoyingly long wait for) a ferry to take you either direction. The ferry ride is only maybe 15 minutes, but the wait can take forever - especially on weekends or holidays. Currently, and for the foreseeable future, the ferries are the only transport from Samal to Davao City. It is best to have your own car, or else you need to rely on a motorcycle (difficult to carry many groceries that way) or taxis. The costs may seem cheap at first, but they add up. The ferries run sporadically after about 10pm until about 6am - maybe once each way in an hour or two. 

The ATMs are limited and often don't work or run out of cash or don't accept various ATM cards from institutions other than their own name brand.

As a foreigner, even though many live or visit there, you will be stared at almost wherever you go. I mean long, unblinking staring at foreigners seems common there. There are lots of resorts, but they tend to load up with Filipinos, their kids, stereos, beer and can often be crowded.

There is one meagerly supplied and staffed clinic/hospital sort of medical center. Anything more than first aid mostly needs to happen in the city. But they do have an x-ray machine and a few fairly well stocked pharmacies.

Sorry to sound down on the place, but it is a lovely island with few real amenities for foreigners. As suggested above, I recommend a visit and stay for a few weeks to experience it before making any commitment - the longer, the better.

Good luck!

Edited January 16, 2023 by Tommy T.

[CebuAndy]

43 minutes ago, Tommy T. said:

(be prepared for insistent street kid beggars when you shop there) and at the NCCC store. Western goods are few and far between on Samal -

you really need to shop in Davao City, and often visit two or three grocery stores in various malls to find all you want in one visit...

but then it is an (often annoyingly long wait for) a ferry to take you either direction. The ferry ride is only maybe 15 minutes, but the wait can take forever - especially on weekends or holidays. Currently, and for the foreseeable future, the ferries are the only transport from Samal to Davao City.

The costs may seem cheap at first, but they add up. 

The ATMs are limited and often don't work or run out of cash or don't accept various ATM cards from institutions other than their own name brand.

There are lots of resorts, but they tend to load up with Filipinos, their kids, stereos, beer and can often be crowded.

There is one meagerly supplied and staffed clinic/hospital sort of medical center. Anything more than first aid mostly needs to happen in the city. But they do have an x-ray machine and a few fairly well stocked pharmacies.

few real amenities for foreigners. 

Excellent local info, sounds same many other places in the Philippines too.  

[Major Tom]

1 hour ago, CebuAndy said:

Excellent local info, sounds same many other places in the Philippines too.  

Yeah, sounds like my expat experience and I lived only two hours from Manila.

[Snowy79]

Where to begin? As the wise heads here say slow down. There will be no shortage of women wanting to meet you so don't think you had better grab the first one that comes along before someone else takes her. In simple terms look on online dating as shopping online. What you see might not relate to what you receive and a good saleswoman can hide the flaws. 

By all means go and visit her but leave your money at home, play poor and mix with different crowds, before you know it you'll have a handfull of women all interested in you and another may catch your eye.  Use the tourist visa to your advantage and enjoy being a tourist for up to 3yrs, your eyes and attitude will change I guarrantee in 6 months.

 Look on your finances as your life's hard work and once it's gone it's gone.  If you blow it on a rushed decision and the relationship goes South you have just resigned yourself to a harder life in the future when you'll be a lot more Philippines wise and able to recognise a good woman but less able to enjoy your time with her due to cash issues.