New member question

[whoare365q]

Look, I am not paranoid but very cautious. She seems great and may prove to be, but what else can I do to protect myself from anything I haven't considered? Are there laws about marriage in the Islands, for example, that override prenups?

[Old55]

Welcome to the forum.

Specifically what is your question? You plan to marry a Filipina in the future and wish to have a prenuptial agreement? Have you spoken to a Filipino attorney? Prenuptial agreements in Philippines may be honored within the local laws. If in regards to laws in Austria you would need to confer with a lawyer there. 

Hopefully you have spent time with the lady and her family and have a clear idea of their background and expectations.

 

[Freebie]

Read the Family Code of Philippines would be a good start....especially if further down the road you have kids and things go wrong.

 

You may also want to have agreements with your spouse to be about money, given that families can sometimes but not all the time see you as a cash cow and ATM combined.

[Kingpin]

7 hours ago, whoare365q said:

Look, I am not paranoid but very cautious. She seems great and may prove to be, but what else can I do to protect myself from anything I haven't considered? Are there laws about marriage in the Islands, for example, that override prenups?

You don't need a prenup, the laws in place are good enough; anything that was yours before marrying, is yours after separating. If you're worried, buy the condo before getting married. The bigger potential problem was already mentioned, twice:

 

6 hours ago, Freebie said:

families

 

6 hours ago, Old55 said:

her family

 

[P_X]

On 4/12/2023 at 4:48 PM, whoare365q said:

Look, I am not paranoid but very cautious. She seems great and may prove to be, but what else can I do to protect myself from anything I haven't considered? Are there laws about marriage in the Islands, for example, that override prenups?

There are private investigators you can hire. Some more reputable than others.  Unfortunately the guy I used to know who was trustworthy has since passed away. 

But there are others.  It'll cost you a pretty peso but if you're THAT concerned..might be worth looking into. 

Besides all of that,  you can do yourself a solid and not rush into anything. 

How and where did you meet her? I'm assuming online? If so, some sites are more attractive to those who are up to no good.

Have you met her in person? If not,  why even consider such a commitment until you've been around her?

Not enough info to go on..

Too many variables.  

[BrettGC]

I'd known my wife about 6 years in total before we were married - yes, we split for a while in the middle, met in 2012, split in 2015, back together in 2017, married in 2020 - I didn't pop the question until I was certain of every aspect with regards to her, her family and any others in the periphery.  I had to put some Viagra in my eyes and take a good long hard look at myself as well; I was carrying more baggage than a Qantas terminal and I didn't want that  spilling into a new marriage, so I sorted that out.  It's a two way street. 

Edited April 13, 2023 by BrettGC

[Gator]

On 4/12/2023 at 4:48 PM, whoare365q said:

Look, I am not paranoid but very cautious. She seems great and may prove to be, but what else can I do to protect myself from anything I haven't considered? Are there laws about marriage in the Islands, for example, that override prenups?

If you do draw up a prenup be sure to make not only in English, but in Tagalog as well. Plus if her native language is other than Tagalog, then add that language as well (Bisaya, Wari, etc.). Otherwise she could dispute it by saying she didn’t understand it. In addition, sign it in the presence of an attorney who will also notarize it. 

[CebuAndy]

On 4/12/2023 at 3:48 PM, whoare365q said:

She seems great and may prove to be, but what else can I do to protect myself from anything I haven't considered?

Most seems to be fantastic, in the first 6-24 months.

You didn't say how long you have known her. 

1. Be sure you are more worth Alive ,than Dead. A life in this part of the world are cheap, very cheap. If you make a Last Will, keep the content for yourself only. Same with life insurance. Remember that US$100 or less, can hire a hitman. So be more worth alive.

2. Don't disclosure how much you have in savings and or in pension. Don't tell this to anyone, not even your girlfriend.

3. Keep your savings in your home country, and transfer only what's needed. 

4. Get a proper medical insurance, or as some do, keep a reserve for medical emergencies only.

5. If you think your private documents and other things are safe in your locked suitcase, think again. Had a ex-gf who opened my suitcase (3 digits 000-999). Rent a safety box for anything you want to keep confidential, also for the one you love.

6. Before one seriously consider marriage, read up on 'Annulment' of marriage, the cost and time this process might take.

7. Before marriage, read the law about 'Concubine'. And understand the consequences, if caught in adultery it can be fatal.

8. Adultery are as frequent in Asia, as in the rest of the world. And NO, it's not always the man who had a fling. Think about that, before you marry too soon.

9. Never get involved in a business with other people, unless you already known them 10+ years, and you lived here all these years.

10. Avoid conflict with a native person. Never loose your cool, never raise your voice, never threaten anyone born in the Philippines.

11. Don't purchase a condo before you stayed here many years, full time. Sale of a second hand property can take years, unless a huge discount is given.

12. Don't marry, unless you lived together with her full time, at least 3-5 year.

Good Luck, you will need it.

[hk blues]

14 hours ago, BrettGC said:

 It's a two way street. 

Indeed!

There won't be many amongst us who didn't bring any baggage into our relationships with our partners here yet we kind of expect they (in the wider sense)  will welcome us with open arms with no qualms or concerns.

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, CebuAndy said:

Most seems to be fantastic, in the first 6-24 months.

You didn't say how long you have known her. 

1. Be sure you are more worth Alive ,than Dead. A life in this part of the world are cheap, very cheap. If you make a Last Will, keep the content for yourself only. Same with life insurance. Remember that US$100 or less, can hire a hitman. So be more worth alive.

2. Don't disclosure how much you have in savings and or in pension. Don't tell this to anyone, not even your girlfriend.

3. Keep your savings in your home country, and transfer only what's needed. 

4. Get a proper medical insurance, or as some do, keep a reserve for medical emergencies only.

5. If you think your private documents and other things are safe in your locked suitcase, think again. Had a ex-gf who opened my suitcase (3 digits 000-999). Rent a safety box for anything you want to keep confidential, also for the one you love.

6. Before one seriously consider marriage, read up on 'Annulment' of marriage, the cost and time this process might take.

7. Before marriage, read the law about 'Concubine'. And understand the consequences, if caught in adultery it can be fatal.

8. Adultery are as frequent in Asia, as in the rest of the world. And NO, it's not always the man who had a fling. Think about that, before you marry too soon.

9. Never get involved in a business with other people, unless you already known them 10+ years, and you lived here all these years.

10. Avoid conflict with a native person. Never loose your cool, never raise your voice, never threaten anyone born in the Philippines.

11. Don't purchase a condo before you stayed here many years, full time. Sale of a second hand property can take years, unless a huge discount is given.

12. Don't marry, unless you lived together with her full time, at least 3-5 year.

Good Luck, you will need it.

Whilst I agree that pretty much all of those are valid, Andy, I also think some are ideal-world thinking.  A lot of the advice offered (not in this post, in general)  just doesn't work in practice. No 12 in particular - with the best will in the world most guys looking to marry a Filipina don't have the luxury of a 3-5 year courtship, and most of the women would baulk at that anyway.  Due diligence is your friend, and really your only one - do what you can and then decide if the risks are worth taking.

I'd certainly go all in thumbs up for Nos 3 and 4 in particular.