Economic Abuse

[Hestecrefter]

Thanks hk.  Iloilo is great.  Until 2019, I spent most of my time in the Phils well north of Iloilo, mostly various points on Luzon, all the way up to Claveria and Santa Ana.  Happy to have discovered Iloilo.  Nothing is written in stone yet.  Might return to the Phils to stay permanently one of these days, and Iloilo is now maybe a choice.  I'll be back there in October, probably until March.

[usa32]

On 7/26/2023 at 12:13 PM, JJReyes said:

In the case of divorce after a legal marriage, the theory is the woman is entitled to half of assets if she was a non-working, stay-at-home mom plus continued monthly support AND child support.  If she was working and earning more than her husband, he theoretically might be entitled to a portion of her salary.  

The situation is slightly different in that they were never legally married.  However, the two have been together for a sufficient length of time that the cohabitation becomes the equivalent of marriage.  Again, my theory is the nuisance value in filing a case and the strong possibility of a substantial out-of-court settlement.  Whether it is morally right or wrong is not an issue.  The purpose is to extract money.  It is also a cautionary tale for expats not to place themselves in a similar predicament.

I guess that means, only live with a girl for a year or two at a time, and make her work. Then give her the boot.  Its sad it has to be that way, but with stupid laws like this, smart guys, aren't going to put themselves in that position. So more girls going to get the old boot out the door

[usa32]

On 7/27/2023 at 12:06 AM, hk blues said:

"Economic abuse is a legally recognised form of domestic abuse ... and involves the control of a partner or ex-partner's money and finances, as well as the things that money can buy". - that seems pretty simple and clear to me and I think it would be easy enough to prove based on that definition.

The law is not there to protect women and punish men, it applies equally to both.  It may seem otherwise but only because the victims tend to be female - you can liken it to rape laws which apply equally to male and females but how many cases do we hear about involving women raping men? 

Your comment that dating or being in a relationship (aren't they the same?)  doesn't mean one is entitled to money if the relationship ends is simply not correct, at least not necessarily so.  In many countries a financial settlement is required depending on the circumstances of the relationship and break-up.  And the laws don't only to married couples. Now, as men, many of us may not like that but I hope we can understand why the laws exist.  

no i can't understand why the law exists. if men and women are equal. If a man gets the boot, he is suppose to pick himself up by his bootstraps and move on. If he marries the wrong girl, and she is awful to him, and spends all his money and leaves him. Men are suppose to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and move on. Yet if its a woman, that has consequences for her choices, we as men and society, are suppose to shower them with money, or go to jail, for taking care of them for years? Get real

[GeoffH]

4 hours ago, usa32 said:

no i can't understand why the law exists. if men and women are equal. If a man gets the boot, he is suppose to pick himself up by his bootstraps and move on. If he marries the wrong girl, and she is awful to him, and spends all his money and leaves him. Men are suppose to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and move on.

Men can also apply under (the Aussie version) of this law in Australia... which is in theory is supposed to be equal.

The issue is that men (anecdeotely at least) tend to have a harder time proving this (or physical) abuse claims.

There HAVE been cases where men (who didn't want to hit a woman which is great) were getting physically hit and 'abused' by violent spouses and the Police and courts have been... lets say... less than helpful.

That's going to take generational change to fix though IMO.

 

[usa32]

15 hours ago, GeoffH said:

Men can also apply under (the Aussie version) of this law in Australia... which is in theory is supposed to be equal.

The issue is that men (anecdeotely at least) tend to have a harder time proving this (or physical) abuse claims.

There HAVE been cases where men (who didn't want to hit a woman which is great) were getting physically hit and 'abused' by violent spouses and the Police and courts have been... lets say... less than helpful.

That's going to take generational change to fix though IMO.

 

Well the divorce/child support/alimony laws, usually only benefit women. Because women, all over the world, usually only marry up, or at best equal in income and money. Men don't care what women make. Because we usually are only looking for a woman we can stand, that we find physically attractive. Which sets the trap with these laws. Which ultimately extort money from men. Philippines is just another country doing the same. 

[Possum]

14 minutes ago, usa32 said:

Men don't care what women make. Because we usually are only looking for a woman we can stand, that we find physically attractive. Which sets the trap with these laws.

Yes some men have low standards. and poor judgement  which can prove expensive

[usa32]

1 hour ago, Possum said:

Yes some men have low standards. and poor judgement  which can prove expensive

sometimes yes. but most times no. They go into a marriage/relationship thinking they have one woman, who turns out being another 5 years later. Then they leave with half the guys money. But in general it has nothing to do with low standards, its really driven by womens nature to look for a man for stability. So when they are looking for marriage/long term, and if they are attractive enough(and sometimes not) they marry up financially. This is pretty uniform around the world.

[Mike J]

6 hours ago, usa32 said:

sometimes yes. but most times no. They go into a marriage/relationship thinking they have one woman, who turns out being another 5 years later. Then they leave with half the guys money. But in general it has nothing to do with low standards, its really driven by womens nature to look for a man for stability. So when they are looking for marriage/long term, and if they are attractive enough(and sometimes not) they marry up financially. This is pretty uniform around the world.

I read something several years ago that made sense.

A man marries a woman who is perfect and thinks she will never change.

A woman marries a man who is imperfect and thinks she will be able to change him.

Both of course are wrong.   I think the single biggest mistake that both men and women make is that they mistake romance for love.