Expat Or Sexpat, There Is A Difference

[Mr Lee]

While traveling around the Philippines during our last 15 plus years of marriage my wife and I have met a lot of both expats and also many sexpats and while some may not like the sexpat title, it should be known that it does not fit for all the foreigners who have decided to move to the Philippines, and who happen to be in stable relationships or marriages but it is something that those of us who live in the Philippines or spend time in the Philippines have to accept and not only are we often seen as sexpats by other foreigners but even more often by the locals. While I sure do not like the title sexpat, I also know that it does not fit me and therefore I just have to accept that it does fit many who I have met along the way, and I also know that no matter what we do or what we call ourselves, it is going to be very hard to overcome that word in many people minds as long as there are many who travel to or live within the Philippines who are there to use and abuse the women or to spend their time in the girly bars and play with the bar girls, who by the way also have a right to earn a living that way if that is what they choose, and those persons out to have a good time have as much right as I have to live their lives the way they wish to live it. Different strokes for different folks but at times I just wish that the sexpats would not be so open about how they are living their lives so it does not adversely affects those of us who are not sexpats...... Example of what I mean by how sexpats can reflex on us. My wife and I were walking home one day from doing errands and we met up along the way with 2 other white gentleman who live in our building and they joined us for the last couple blocks of our walk home and we all chatted. A truck load of young Filipino construction type were passing by and yelled out to my wife "are you going to take them all on" and that really pissed me off, but I just have to accept the fact that many of us are seen that way, yet it really hurts me that people will see their own country women that way and that is very upsetting to me because the sexpats are the ones who cause Filipinos to think their own women who are with foreigners must all be whores. Does anyone have any suggestions how we can protect the honor of our ladies? My wife wears a wedding band but I guess that is a little hard for some guys driving by in a truck to see. So what is the answer? Do we just have to avoid being with other expats when in the public eye? That would be hard to do IMO.

[Genius]

Mr Lee - People say stupid inconsiderate things and jump to conclusions everywhere. Admittedly, it does seem to be a bit of a sport to blame foreigners for everything in the phils, in the media and politics which is a convenient way to glossover the fact that the country politically is just around the 1200s in the UK and as a result you do get more stupid comments from the locals than otherwise.You love your wife, right ? So don't get mad, ignore it.

While traveling around the Philippines during our last 15 plus years of marriage my wife and I have met a lot of both expats and also many sexpats and while some may not like the sexpat title, it should be known that it does not fit for all the foreigners who have decided to move to the Philippines, and who happen to be in stable relationships or marriages but it is something that those of us who live in the Philippines or spend time in the Philippines have to accept and not only are we often seen as sexpats by other foreigners but even more often by the locals. While I sure do not like the title sexpat, I also know that it does not fit me and therefore I just have to accept that it does fit many who I have met along the way, and I also know that no matter what we do or what we call ourselves, it is going to be very hard to overcome that word in many people minds as long as there are many who travel to or live within the Philippines who are there to use and abuse the women or to spend their time in the girly bars and play with the bar girls, who by the way also have a right to earn a living that way if that is what they choose, and those persons out to have a good time have as much right as I have to live their lives the way they wish to live it. Different strokes for different folks but at times I just wish that the sexpats would not be so open about how they are living their lives so it does not adversely affects those of us who are not sexpats...... Example of what I mean by how sexpats can reflex on us. My wife and I were walking home one day from doing errands and we met up along the way with 2 other white gentleman who live in our building and they joined us for the last couple blocks of our walk home and we all chatted. A truck load of young Filipino construction type were passing by and yelled out to my wife "are you going to take them all on" and that really pissed me off, but I just have to accept the fact that many of us are seen that way, yet it really hurts me that people will see their own country women that way and that is very upsetting to me because the sexpats are the ones who cause Filipinos to think their own women who are with foreigners must all be whores. Does anyone have any suggestions how we can protect the honor of our ladies? My wife wears a wedding band but I guess that is a little hard for some guys driving by in a truck to see. So what is the answer? Do we just have to avoid being with other expats when in the public eye? That would be hard to do IMO.

[Jollygoodfellow]

The term sexpats is made up by hypocrites with more skeletons in their closet than a haunted house,the ones who mouth off about others behavior have nothing better to do. All over the world people visit prostitutes for various reasons and it has nothing to do with culture or the country.Why do some class a visitor to a bar as an sexpat,is it different if that person lives in the country or is there another name for him?The whole world runs on bullshit,I don't give a damn what anyone calls me. I go to bars in the Philippines but that does not mean I'm a sexpat in my view,just because I go to a bar does not mean I take a girl home with me,Christ I go to bars here in Australia for a drink and in the Philippines I do the same as well as have a good night out with talking and laughing with the girls who work there.As for the comment to Lee and his wife by some passing workers,who cares what people say,I remember when I was young and stupid and out with some mates we would call out to a couple walking by, "fu@k her mate,we did".Its just the immaturity of us at the time.Anyway for those who live in glass house's and wish to label others, get over it.Life is to short to label and judge others.

Edited March 28, 2011 by Kuya Lee

[Mr Lee]

The term sexpats is made up by hypocrites with more skeletons in their closet than a haunted house,the ones who mouth off about others behavior have nothing better to do. All over the world people visit prostitutes for various reasons and it has nothing to do with culture or the country.Why do some class a visitor to a bar as an sexpat,is it different if that person lives in the country or is there another name for him?The whole world runs on bullsh&t,I don't give a damn what anyone calls me. I go to bars in the Philippines but that does not mean I'm a sexpat in my view,just because I go to a bar does not mean I take a girl home with me,Christ I go to bars here in Australia for a drink and in the Philippines I do the same as well as have a good night out with talking and laughing with the girls who work there.As for the comment to Lee and his wife by some passing workers,who cares what people say,I remember when I was young and stupid and out with some mates we would call out to a couple walking by, "?????? her mate,we did".Its just the immaturity of us at the time.Anyway for those who live in glass house's and wish to label others, get over it.Life is to short to label and judge others.

I think you got too upset. The way I look at it is, if the shoe does not fit then you are not a sexpat and are therefore either a visitor or an expat and then there is always those who are in between. The point I was trying to make is that titles mean nothing and it is what we actually are that counts, even when some who may not understand who we are will label us with names that we do not like. I also have gone to bars in the Philippines and enjoyed peoples company and have even talked with or bought a lady a drink but that also does not make me a sexpat, and what is worse is that I managed a totally nude club for a while in the US and that does not make me a pervert but people will label us and we just have to deal with it, yet at the same time IMO we really should try to let the locals see us in a good light rather than some showing off ourselves as true sexpats with some of their actions. The old saying is when in Rome do as the Romans do, is the same as when in the Philippines do as the Filipinos might do and when out in public I have very rarely if ever seen Filipinos doing what I have seen foreigners do in the malls or public places, such as grabbing the woman they are with by the ass or feeling her up or making her show her breasts or playing with her in front of others. I think those things are just unnecessary to do in public and only makes the locals think we are all like that. Now do I show my wife affection in public, absolutely but I do not do the things I just mentioned and I think those things and other things shows a lack of respect for the lady and the people around you. All in my humble opinion. Edited December 12, 2009 by Boss Man

[daisy]

Actually someone practically label us as sexpats' ladies for reason that we sometimes held our meetings there at Spooks not knowing that we are there because of our husbands. I truly have no clue that it could be translated as such otherwise I never would used it in the charity I've founded for our husbands! We know our hearts but just for the sake of the future, I will gonna amend the name from expats to expatriates in our SEC registration! Whoever a person is.... whether he is an expat or a sexpat, no one deserves the right to judge him! :welcome:

[Mr Lee]

Actually someone practically label us as sexpats' ladies for reason that we sometimes held our meetings there at Spooks not knowing that we are there because of our husbands. I truly have no clue that it could be translated as such otherwise I never would used it in the charity I've founded for our husbands! We know our hearts but just for the sake of the future, I will gonna amend the name from expats to expatriates in our SEC registration! Whoever a person is.... whether he is an expat or a sexpat, no one deserves the right to judge him! :welcome:

Daisy, I do not think it matters what you call your group because there will always be idiots out there who will call you names, be it fat or skinny or alcoholic or sexpat or stupid or whatever they feel like calling people and the heck with them. If you change it to expatriate then there will be stupid people who say "what are the husbands no longer patriotic to the country they came from." I have heard it all and the heck with them all and that was the point of making my post, to stir the pot. There are always going to be guys who have to do nasty things in public and nothing is going to change the stupid peoples minds about the rest of us because of those people who just have to do those things in public to pump their own egos, and nothing will change peoples minds why you married a white guy or why he married you. Sorry, but I would not change the name just because of idiots like those who were involved with the Hunt situation, you just have to take it from where it comes, all IMHO.

[til]

I think there is nothing harder to do than to change peoples judgments/misconceptions/prejudices.So don't even try. It's easier to work on yourself and not get upset by it.

[MikeB]

The term sexpats is made up by hypocrites with more skeletons in their closet than a haunted house,the ones who mouth off about others behavior have nothing better to do. All over the world people visit prostitutes for various reasons and it has nothing to do with culture or the country.Why do some class a visitor to a bar as an sexpat,is it different if that person lives in the country or is there another name for him?The whole world runs on bullsh&t,I don't give a damn what anyone calls me. I go to bars in the Philippines but that does not mean I'm a sexpat in my view,just because I go to a bar does not mean I take a girl home with me,Christ I go to bars here in Australia for a drink and in the Philippines I do the same as well as have a good night out with talking and laughing with the girls who work there.As for the comment to Lee and his wife by some passing workers,who cares what people say,I remember when I was young and stupid and out with some mates we would call out to a couple walking by, "f#@k her mate,we did".Its just the immaturity of us at the time.Anyway for those who live in glass house's and wish to label others, get over it.Life is to short to label and judge others.

Agreed, and I wonder how many of those who publicly express their undying love for their spouse, gf, etc would fall in that category at some earlier (or future) time.

[Guardian]

I think some of you may be mixing up what seems to be the common meaning of a sexpathttp://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sexpat1. sexpat A person (generally man) who "couldn't get laid in a brothel back home", who moves to a poor country where prosititues are cheap to "finally be treated like the man he always knew he was." The difference between a sex-tourist and a sexpat is the sexpat must LIVE in the country, a sex-tourist is a short stay visitor. 2. sexpat Sexpat (noun), an compound of sex and expat or expatriate. A sexpat is one who participates in tourism with the express intention of having sex. There may be a variety of reasons for this, such as: less restrictive laws in foreign countries; anonymity or privacy; a preference for people of other ethnic groups; financial reasons i.e. if one travels from a wealthy country to a poorer one. However, by far and away the single greatest reason for the existence of the sexpat phenomenon is that sexpats find securing carnal relations with someone in their own country difficult to impossible to achieve. So in other words, sexpats are losers back in their own countries who probably could not even get laid in a whore house with a handful of large denomination bills, so if you do not feel that you are a loser back in the country you originate from, then you should not think people are putting you in the sexpat category.

[tom_shor]

I think some of you may be mixing up what seems to be the common meaning of a sexpathttp://www.urbandict...php?term=sexpat1. sexpat A person (generally man) who "couldn't get laid in a brothel back home", who moves to a poor country where prosititues are cheap to "finally be treated like the man he always knew he was." The difference between a sex-tourist and a sexpat is the sexpat must LIVE in the country, a sex-tourist is a short stay visitor.2. sexpat Sexpat (noun), an compound of sex and expat or expatriate. A sexpat is one who participates in tourism with the express intention of having sex. There may be a variety of reasons for this, such as: less restrictive laws in foreign countries; anonymity or privacy; a preference for people of other ethnic groups; financial reasons i.e. if one travels from a wealthy country to a poorer one. However, by far and away the single greatest reason for the existence of the sexpat phenomenon is that sexpats find securing carnal relations with someone in their own country difficult to impossible to achieve. So in other words, sexpats are losers back in their own countries who probably could not even get laid in a whore house with a handful of large denomination bills, so if you do not feel that you are a loser back in the country you originate from, then you should not think people are putting you in the sexpat category.

DAAAAAAd He's picking on me again. For your information I can too get laid with a handful of large notes. (Can you loan me some?)While the definations you gave cover a lot of ground there are a number of people I have known that would not fit either of them. I think someone who is sampling the lilys with no intention of a serious involvement would cover it better.