Too Old Or Too Young

[love2winalot]

Hiya; First of all, it is YOUR decision. But, YOU did ask for advice, expieriences ect. Everyone is only talking about, YOU. How will this affect YOU? What about her? Maybe your skin is like Armor, and nothing phases you. So, your family calling you, 'A dirty Old man", is not that big of a deal, and you can shrug it off. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut.....When they, or others, "and their will be others", Call HER names, Gold Digger, #%^*^*, and things much worse, What happens when she gets tired of it? If your family is dead set against this, "hopefully many many years from now", and they discover that she is getting most of the stuff, from your Will, are they going to contest it? I have seen many people, being forced to choose between their Wife, and something else. ie. family, Job, childern, where to live, Money, life style, and so on. If the things in your life right now, "all of the above", are good, are you willing to risk losing it all? Can you, and her, live with it? Guilt is a powerfull emotion. Not just YOU, But her.......................A 19 year old can yell at you, and you know it was just her being upset, and it will pass. But something like, "Thanks for making my own son hate me", said in the heat of the moment, it not as easily shrugged of by a Kid......all this is just, IMHOP. Good luck no matter what you do.

Edited July 16, 2010 by love2winalot

[Fast&Furious]

Well...I'm 35 and I would not marry a 19 years old, no matter how hot she is.....she does not have life experience and I would end up bored.Furthermore, your age gap is way too wide. A 20 years gap may be OK, depending on individuals, but 40 is a big NO NO.Also, I was just reading something from an Italian Government website with travel advice about the Philippines and here there is something I wonder if they are correct or not....keep in mind that I translated it with Google for faster translation in English:

Local law provided for sexual abuse or violence against children: the Philippines is still considered one of the goals of "sex tourism" and Local government has decided to toughen penalties for crimes substantially relating to child prostitution (minors is up to 18 years). A an indication should be noted that the penalties for these offenses range from 14 years of and life imprisonment in cases of violence is expected the death penalty. In particular, they can be sentenced to 10-12 years in prison those who are caught in the company of children under the age of 12 or with people at least 10 years younger. It should be remembered that those who commit crimes against children abroad (abuse sexual exploitation, prostitution) are prosecuted on their return.

Is the above correct?

[Mr Lee]

Well...I'm 35 and I would not marry a 19 years old, no matter how hot she is.....she does not have life experience and I would end up bored. Furthermore, your age gap is way too wide. A 20 years gap may be OK, depending on individuals, but 40 is a big NO NO. Also, I was just reading something from an Italian Government website with travel advice about the Philippines and here there is something I wonder if they are correct or not....keep in mind that I translated it with Google for faster translation in English:

Local law provided for sexual abuse or violence against children: the Philippines is still considered one of the goals of "sex tourism" and Local government has decided to toughen penalties for crimes substantially relating to child prostitution (minors is up to 18 years). A an indication should be noted that the penalties for these offenses range from 14 years of and life imprisonment in cases of violence is expected the death penalty. In particular, they can be sentenced to 10-12 years in prison those who are caught in the company of children under the age of 12 or with people at least 10 years younger. It should be remembered that those who commit crimes against children abroad (abuse sexual exploitation, prostitution) are prosecuted on their return.

Is the above correct?

Age difference is a little different here in the Philippines, prepare to be shocked and have your opinion changed. It is not at all uncommon to see a 40 or 50 year difference. My wife and I are 20 years apart and that brought me great concern at the beginning, but I found her to be much more mature when she was 23 than women in the US usually were at that age, and when we married I was 46 and she was 26. I do tend to sort of agree with you about a much larger age difference but if people find common ground and I know many who have great marriages who do, then who are we to judge them. It is going to be all about how mature the lady is and it seems most ladies here are much more mature at younger ages than they are back home, and besides that, I find Filipinos in general are much more adaptable, so usually easily adjust to situations. As for the law, the 10 year difference is for anyone under 18 or mentally challenged at any age. REPUBLIC ACT NO. 7610 might be the one to be concerned with IMO. It might be worth reading for members and below is a couple of parts that I feel relate. Definition of Terms. –

(a) "Children" refers to person below eighteen (18) years of age or those over but are unable to fully take care of themselves or protect themselves from abuse, neglect, cruelty, exploitation or discrimination because of a physical or mental disability or condition;

ARTICLE VIOther Acts of Abuse

Sec. 10.

Other Acts of Neglect, Abuse, Cruelty or Exploitation and Other Conditions Prejudicial to the

Child's

Development

.

–(b) Any person who shall keep or have in his company a minor, twelve (12) years or under or who in ten (10) years or more his junior in any public or private place, hotel, motel, beer joint, discotheque, cabaret, pension house, sauna or massage parlor, beach and/or other tourist resort or similar places shall suffer the penalty of prision mayor in its maximum period and a fine of not less than Fifty thousand pesos (P50,000): Provided, That this provision shall not apply to any person who is related within the fourth degree of consanguinity or affinity or any bond recognized by law, local custom and tradition or acts in the performance of a social, moral or legal duty.

[Jim Sibbick]

Is the above correct?

Yes, but the key words are alone and related.If you are a courting a Filipina, you will never be alone! You will have chaperones up the yin yang. Once you are married, you will be related. Never ever agree to mind the children of some new aquaintence.Regards; Jim

[Dave Hounddriver]

One wonders how the opening poster has made out after a year has gone by.

[Art2ro]

One wonders how the opening poster has made out after a year has gone by.

Did I contribute on this topic? Looks like I did! Has it changed anything? Looks like it hasn't, but got more controversial, which I plan to stay out of as to not offend anyone! I don't like to participate in controversial issues, because I don't like getting upset or pissing anyone off! So, I'll remain neutral on this topic!

[Fast&Furious]

I do tend to sort of agree with you about a much larger age difference but if people find common ground and I know many who have great marriages who do, then who are we to judge them. It is going to be all about how mature the lady is and it seems most ladies here are much more mature at younger ages than they are back home

I did say "A 20 years gap may be OK, depending on individuals".

[Fast&Furious]

Is the above correct?

Yes, but the key words are alone and related.If you are a courting a Filipina, you will never be alone! You will have chaperones up the yin yang. Once you are married, you will be related. Never ever agree to mind the children of some new aquaintence.Regards; Jim

Hi Jim, what are 'chaperones' ?Let me ask you something then. Let's imagine this man went ahead and married the 19 years old girl. All is good for a while...Then one day she changes her mind or they argue or whatever and next thing she goes to the police telling them a whole different story....maybe adds up some domestic violence or you name it.At that point, you have a 60 years old foreigner against a 19 years old Filipina. What do you think the police will do?

[Mr Lee]

I do tend to sort of agree with you about a much larger age difference but if people find common ground and I know many who have great marriages who do, then who are we to judge them. It is going to be all about how mature the lady is and it seems most ladies here are much more mature at younger ages than they are back home

I did say "A 20 years gap may be OK, depending on individuals".

Yup you did say that, and I was just using myself as an example, but once you are here, then you will see many men older than I am (almost 63) with very young wives or gf's, and quite a few of those relationships seem to be working out great IMO, and from interacting with quite a few of those couples. So the ladies seem quite happy, and the men we know sure are, who wouldn't be. So while I am not advocating older men date very young women, and I think a man no matter how old should try to date a woman mature enough to know about life, so I am basically on your side, yet I do not think anyone should rule it out, just in case the right woman comes along and she is only 18 or 19, but with the mind of a 30 year old. Of course in the end it is up to you, but IMO one should never say never to anything in life, because they may find themselves eating their words one day, I know I have in the past.

[Jim Sibbick]

Is the above correct?

Yes, but the key words are alone and related.If you are a courting a Filipina, you will never be alone! You will have chaperones up the yin yang. Once you are married, you will be related. Never ever agree to mind the children of some new acquaintance.Regards; Jim

Hi Jim, what are 'chaperones' ?Let me ask you something then. Let's imagine this man went ahead and married the 19 years old girl. All is good for a while...Then one day she changes her mind or they argue or whatever and next thing she goes to the police telling them a whole different story....maybe adds up some domestic violence or you name it.At that point, you have a 60 years old foreigner against a 19 years old Filipina. What do you think the police will do?

From Wikipedia<LI>Chaperone (social) or chaperon, an adult who accompanies or supervises young people on social occasionsWhen you start dating a Filipina, expect her to want a whole troupe of chaperones. Obviously, with a chaperone, it is impossible to be subject to Republican Act 7610. Here is the act in full, if you would like to read ithttp://www.chanrobles.com/republicactno7610.html If you are married, the law will treat you the same whether she is 19 or 91. What story the police will believe, who can say?Regards; Jim