Raising Kids In The Pi

[ekimswish]

DISCLAIMER: couldn't find the appropriate forum for this subject, so just chose this one... fully expect to be moved. I'll be moving to the Philippines in late November, and have two daughters between my wife and I - 1 and 3 by that time - and two step-children - 13 and 11. I'm wondering if anyone has experience with raising young children - or any age - in the Philippines and advice to share?Currently my 2 year old is with us in Korea and is slow picking up language. She's been picking it up better since her sister was born 10 months ago, but is still just on single to two words at a time in English. Understands commands well, but not really questions. She speaks 80% English with a 10% both of Korean and Filipino mixed in. I'm hoping we'll get her in an English nursery school in the Philippines in December or January, or if not, a nanny with decent English. My step-daughter just started high school - 7th grade - in Marikina and it's damn expensive. The tuition is quite reasonable, but the "school projects" run up a nice bill. I've considered my daughter might be scamming spending money, or the school might just be scamming the parents, but there's always a project, and it sucks. Besides that, electricity costs in Marikina have shot up, and we assume they're much lower in Leyte province, where we'll move at the end of the year. Advice on those or any other issues with raising kids in the Philippines would be appreciated. Thanks a lot.

[Call me bubba]

Call the school ask about what are the projects cost.2, about MERALCO bill. check out the Meralco website as it lists the monthly charges for power. PAY it online with a local bank account. use the online billpay service. you will need the total cost plus a 5 digit atm code listed on the bill.my experience has been only200-225 month for " extra project costs" but thats for 2nd grade. sure for her grade its more. Keep your children are up to date on their shots. BE AWARE of stray dogs, Rabies are prevalent . 3rd is make sure they never go with unknown people " Stranger danger" i think its called. also have a secret password if someone claims to be picking them up on your behalf, that they ask them for it.::LAST ITEM if they dont have US citizenship esp the step children try to get that as soon as possible/practical. WHY? if they should be living in the USA someday (over age 18)and commit,convicted of offense they could be deported back to country of Origin/birth . when some of the refugees of RVN,Cambodia grew up,a small few had legal issues. since they weren't US citizens, was deported back. since she speaks few words of another language try to keep her current . being TRI lingual will help her opportunities later when older.

[Old55]

I realize your question was asked eight months ago and you are now working in Taipei. I’ll add my 2 centavos. I don’t have children in school in Philippines but have paid tuition for over ten years. I know elementarily school through collage costs near and in Cebu City and in Southern Leyte for Collage only. My wife and I have closely looked into schools there for our children. We have family members in private schools in Philippines now. You need to have someone closely look into the school project charges, this need to be monitored and the school needs to know they are being watched. It’s well known that teachers and the schools will extort money from children if they can this is very common. More than likely they know the student is funded by a Foreigner. Projects are normal but the cost should be modest. For grade school through maybe grade 7 or 8 it would be best if you had a trusted family member very actively involved with the child’s education both at home and in the school. They should visit the school often and work with the teacher and school for best results. This is common normal even expected in a private school. Again you should have family doing this someone you know well and trust. They would know when to provide the school and teacher for snacks and some additional supplies in small amounts when the time is right. Our family has a number of members who were teachers and school administrators. I think you guys live north east Leyte. We have family members living in Southern Leyte, Sogod Bay area some are active or retired teachers. FWIW my wife and I decided to raise our children in the States. Providing a quality education was an important part of that decision. There are a few high quality K-12 schools in Cebu City and Manila. Not including the American School in those places. For college there are more quality choices thorough out the islands. IMO your two year old is doing just fine, at that age they are all over the place to do with vocabulary and comprehension. Having more than one language going on at that age is beneficial and there have been a number of studies showing it to be so.

[Old55]

If you have specific questions my wife could better answer please feel free to PE me anytime.

[ekimswish]

Thanks guys. Finally, we'll get my step-kids in the province at the end of this month or early next month. Definitely can't afford it anymore, since I took a pay cut to work in Taiwan over Korea, like last year. Once in the province the costs will be chopped by 70%... Marikina ain't cheap. Julita is. My daughter's have so many people helping look after them, who have decent enough english for a child her age.... and lots of friends on the street who can speak basic English words, or more likely, immerse them in Waray-waray. In a few months we'll be set up a little better.

[ekimswish]

Hey, I got a request for an update on this story, so here it is. It's been tough, but I'm staying positive, and am thankful for every day my wife and kids get to spend in Leyte, and the few that I get as well. I'm aware that once we're in Canada, these ventures into "paradise" will be years and years apart, so enjoy it while I still can:

Wow, that takes me back over a year ago. I've been in Taiwan since January of 2011. The first 8 months, I couldn't make much money to support anyone. The last 8 months, I've made great money, but it still seems not to be enough. I've paid down some debt, but not as much as i always think I will.

Hence, I'm moving to Canada this summer to work on the oil rigs, or something similar with good pay (I hope), and will apply for my wife's immigration visa soon. It'll probably be at least a half a year before they're ready to come to Canada with me, if not longer.

My daughter was speaking Waray-waray by six months back there, and now is basically fluent. Her English is also improving since my wife and a few others will speak English to her. Back in Korea, due to lack of friends, she was really behind in speaking and i was worried what problems she might have. Now, thankfully, I've learned that it was just a question of environment.

It's hard being away from the family, but things could be worse. At least i can visit them every couple of months, unlike an OFW. I'm happy for my daughters to live there and have such a free sorta country lifestyle. I think them living in a city in the Philippines would not be as good. In the town where we live, I might wake up at 8am (sleeping in) and find out that my girls left the house at 6am to go play with their friends, and they're at their relatives house down the street. We also have two nannies who help us with stuff, and they only cost 2k pesos a month, which is higher than most.

So, yeah, that's about it. My younger daughter was strange with me the first few times I went back, but each time warmed up after 15 minutes or so. Now she knows who I am, and is excited to talk on the phone (Love you, bye-bye), or when i come back to visit.

Thanks for asking.

Mike

ps: not having anyone help us raise our first daughter, I believe, made us a lot closer. Having help in the Philippines has meant less responsibility for me, hence, sometimes less of a connection. I'm glad she prefers playing with me, cuz I know I'm not doing anything else for her, in terms of cleaning, washing, and feeding, like I did with my oldest.

[Old55]

Thanks for the update. The economy in Canada and much of the US is doing much better. If you want to work it is there to be had. I only wish we could have met in Taiwan. Once your wife and children get to Canada they will be much better off IMO.

[ekimswish]

Well, I'm back in Canada now and will be applying for spousal visa for my wife as well as a visitor visa soon. My daughters are becoming dual-citizens now, and that was one of the sticking points since they'd overstayed their visitor visas in Phils. One is ready and the other will be soon.

I Skype regularly with the girls and they're doing really well. They both speak Waray now, and a little English. The gay friends of my step daughter are always at the house and encouraging the girls to model, dance and sing. Like most FILIPINOS, performance is pretty big to them. Theyre always asking to join contests or bands or dance troupes.

If they grew up in canada I'm not sure they'd be as outgoing in this regard. Sure, most little girls like these things, but it seems to have greater importance in the Phils. I hope this flare for competition and performance continues to drive them in Canada.

I'm also glad my wife got to live a few more years in her hometown with her home people. She left a long time ago to make money for her kids, but had little to do with raising them. Her time there with family is not something all ofw's ever get back. Its better than if we'd come straight to Canada from Korea.

Anyways, if the family comes in January, I hope I have enough money to go visit them for Christmas. I, too, would like a little more time in the Phils.

[Dave Hounddriver]

If they grew up in canada I'm not sure they'd be as outgoing in this regard.

I think that is a parental thing as well as a cultural thing. Mothers of little girls in Canada (Judging from my own family members and friends only) tend to tell their little girls they are 'acting up' or performing' when they sing and dance and seem to act like it is a bad thing. The kids learn: Don't do that because Mommy don't like it.

My theory is it takes the women back to their roots in the days before they dominated men. It reminds them that there was a time when they had to look and act pleasing instead of looking and acting like construction workers.

[ekimswish]

If they grew up in canada I'm not sure they'd be as outgoing in this regard.

I think that is a parental thing as well as a cultural thing. Mothers of little girls in Canada (Judging from my own family members and friends only) tend to tell their little girls they are 'acting up' or performing' when they sing and dance and seem to act like it a bad thing. The kids learn: Don't do that because Mommy don't like it.

My theory is it takes the women back to their roots in the days before they dominated men. It reminds them that there was a time when they had to look and act pleasing instead of looking and acting like construction workers.

Sorry for not quoting more precisely, but I'm on my cell phone.

Construction workers?! Lol.... I was thinking Vegas showgirls. Dammit, u reminded me of my butch sister-inlaw!

Noooo, u know when u see pictures of Filipinos in their elaborate cultural costumes, singing to perfection an American pop song or doing hip hop dance routines, or read a story about the strength of ballroom dance (my wife a former provincial champ), or some other thing they do at fiesta? That's what I'm talking about. NOT construction worker dance.... routines???

Lol, but I know what ur talking about. My best friend, a Fil-Canadian and his Fil-Canadian wife, tried to shield my god-daughter from pink and princess stuff. While I never did that with my own girl, I was proud that I taught her to kickbox in her first 3 years. My rich friend in Taiwan, her godfather, told me I should raise her as a princess if I wanted her to have a good life.

With me out of the way, overseas, she's definitely become more Barbie like and less violent. I guess I can thank the Philippines for that. In Canada she definitely would've been raised more like a boy.

Ultimately, I love seeing her dress up pretty, dancing for the camera and being a girl. It's sweet.

Ohhhhh, sorry. On editing I realize what u meant. U were contrasting eras. I misunderstood the construction worker comment.

Edited November 19, 2012 by ekimswish