What Questions To Ask While Dating?

[Mr Lee]

This thought entered my mind because of another topic and unanswered questions, so I will expand on it.  What questions should a person ask when dating either on the Internet or in person? I pose this because I know of a number of people who have been communicating with ladies in chats and in emails, yet they never seem to touch on what I would think would be the most important things. I will post a few and maybe some of you can add what you feel would be important to know.First and foremost I would ask how many in her family, how many live with her, and how they all support themselves, I feel it would be important to know how she is affording the internet time to talk to me, In my case it was many years ago before the internet but I still asked the questions and found out that my wife made a couple of dollars a day and that a letter with an airmail stamp was about a dollar back in those days, so I always enclosed at least one dollar and put it inside a self addressed folded airmail envelope so she did not have to spend her hard earned money to write to me. My wife always argued that she was working and that I should not send money, but I told her that I wanted her to write to me more often and that was why I wanted her to spend the money, so she could.Next I feel that an important question would be how much her family is going to expect from her and how much she is currently giving to her family monthly, if she is working. How many kids she is going to want and when. All I can tell you is that when I talk to some of these people on the phone and they tell me that they have been communicating for 6 months or whatever and I ask the simple questions when I am told their ladies are poor, such as, how does she afford a computer and internet connection in her home on her salary, how much does she make, are her parents alive, how many siblings does she have etc, and they usually have no answers to the questions, and they are heading over to meet the ladies, and I have to wonder if there is any foundation for their relationship since they apparently do not really know each other even after 6 months of chat, so what the hell do they talk about if not their families and work.What do you all think? If a person never asks the questions that should be asked, who is at fault when the relationship fails? I say it is the person who is more worldly and should have known better.

[joeatmanila]

Mr. LeeI sympathise your effort to educate people on what to ask while dating. For Heaven's sake though this is 2010, if there is an adult above 20's who needs guidance of what to ask on dating...i think he has a serious problem in his mind and even these good willing answers will not help him a bit...A psychologist to build some self esteem to him is more appropriate...

[Mr Lee]

Mr. LeeI sympathise your effort to educate people on what to ask while dating. For Heaven's sake though this is 2010, if there is an adult above 20's who needs guidance of what to ask on dating...i think he has a serious problem in his mind and even these good willing answers will not help him a bit...A psychologist to build some self esteem to him is more appropriate...

You are probably correct but it always amazes me how the cultural difference makes some people afraid to as the same questions that they would think nothing of asking if they met someone in their own country. The sad fact is that many people need help and since my wife and I have met up with a lot of people in person as well as the many who seem to email me and all the time to ask me questions, I feel this is a worthy cause to try to save some from sure disaster since I hate unhappy endings. Also, I do not know about why others are on forums but I am on them to help people and to at least try to prevent them from making mistakes that could have been avoided.

[No name]

You are probably correct but it always amazes me how the cultural difference makes some people afraid to as the same questions that they would think nothing of asking if they met someone in their own country. The sad fact is that many people need help and since my wife and I have met up with a lot of people in person as well as the many who seem to email me and all the time to ask me questions, I feel this is a worthy cause to try to save some from sure disaster since I hate unhappy endings. Also, I do not know about why others are on forums but I am on them to help people and to at least try to prevent them from making mistakes that could have been avoided.

The questions about family are right on. I wonder how honest the answers will be though. At least you covered it with her and if the answers change then at least you can say, "but you said it would be this way and that's what I'm willing to do."The reason your brining this up is good is because most people, the ones that have never been here have no idea about family in the Philippines.With things being much more rapid now and the questions are answered much faster, the questions she ask or the things she ask for might tell you far more.A girl l barely know asked told me she was having a bad day, she needed $150 for her rent. Dollars? She pays her rent in dollars? I was just chatting, I wasn't looking for a hookup. I have enough female problems already. LOL I was amused. For the masses that read and don't post, the Filipina is usually not going to flat out ask (though some will) most will just hint. The girls on the net as so different from the girls I meet out in the province.

[Jake]

You are probably correct but it always amazes me how the cultural difference makes some people afraid to as the same questions that they would think nothing of asking if they met someone in their own country. The sad fact is that many people need help and since my wife and I have met up with a lot of people in person as well as the many who seem to email me and all the time to ask me questions, I feel this is a worthy cause to try to save some from sure disaster since I hate unhappy endings. Also, I do not know about why others are on forums but I am on them to help people and to at least try to prevent them from making mistakes that could have been avoided.

The questions about family are right on. I wonder how honest the answers will be though. At least you covered it with her and if the answers change then at least you can say, "but you said it would be this way and that's what I'm willing to do."The reason your brining this up is good is because most people, the ones that have never been here have no idea about family in the Philippines.With things being much more rapid now and the questions are answered much faster, the questions she ask or the things she ask for might tell you far more.A girl l barely know asked told me she was having a bad day, she needed $150 for her rent. Dollars? She pays her rent in dollars? I was just chatting, I wasn't looking for a hookup. I have enough female problems already. LOL I was amused. For the masses that read and don't post, the Filipina is usually not going to flat out ask (though some will) most will just hint. The girls on the net as so different from the girls I meet out in the province.

It's too bad this thread is not in the X rated section -- although I have never tried cyber dating, I would definitelybe asking more intimate questions he, he.Unfortunately, a lot of hidden agendas can be concealed on both sides until it's time to meet face to face. Evenat that stage, both parties are scoping each other out. As a matter of culture, the extended family needs to beinterviewed and just to be fair, the visitor should be interrogated as well. Of course, this may take some time.Expect to be accompanied by relatives when going out for a date. If the relationship is getting really serious, the possibility to travel at the far corners of the Philippines to meet the matriarch-patriarch of the family (to get their blessings) should be met with genuine enthusiasm. If things don't work out, the visitor should have a plan that includes sufficient time and money to explore otherpotential mates. Or just have a good time until the next vacation trip. The bottom line is: please do not allowyour "head" located at the middle leg to jeopardize your better judgement.Respectfully -- Jake

[No name]

It's too bad this thread is not in the X rated section -- although I have never tried cyber dating, I would definitelybe asking more intimate questions he, he.Unfortunately, a lot of hidden agendas can be concealed on both sides until it's time to meet face to face. Evenat that stage, both parties are scoping each other out. As a matter of culture, the extended family needs to beinterviewed and just to be fair, the visitor should be interrogated as well. Of course, this may take some time.Expect to be accompanied by relatives when going out for a date. If the relationship is getting really serious, the possibility to travel at the far corners of the Philippines to meet the matriarch-patriarch of the family (to get their blessings) should be met with genuine enthusiasm. If things don't work out, the visitor should have a plan that includes sufficient time and money to explore otherpotential mates. Or just have a good time until the next vacation trip. The bottom line is: please do not allowyour "head" located at the middle leg to jeopardize your better judgement.Respectfully -- Jake

To expand on what Jake said.If you come here for a single girl, you're asking for a major disappointment. Forget the small head, your heart can lead you more astray than it ever will. Though for a man, or at least me, I don't think the two ever get disconnected lol. Well maybe the head from the heart but not the heart from the head.Just come for the experience. If the girl works out too, even better. They often do but they more often do not.As I have written in Rusty's expat bible (still being written) Thou shalt notcount your Filipina before they hatch in your lap.

[Jake]

Hey Rusty,Your website "Experiencing Cebu" is an interesting read. Your ongoing project of "Philippines Experience: Expat Training Manual"is a must have for those virgin visitors in search for the Tropical Paradise.Well done sir -- Jake

[No name]

Hey Rusty,Your website "Experiencing Cebu" is an interesting read. Your ongoing project of "Philippines Experience: Expat Training Manual"is a must have for those virgin visitors in search for the Tropical Paradise.Well done sir -- Jake

Wow jake, thank you very much. :) I'm glad you found it useful. I wish I had had that book before I came. I would have been here much sooner!

[ekimswish]

Cebu Experience took the words out of my text box: ask the questions, but who will answer honestly? That's the point I was going to make. We're guys and we lie about things. They're girls and they lie about things. Never think that you're lying but they're not, even about the smallest things! Especially about the smallest things. My next point is... wow... Jake, ya ol' perv! lol... Remind me to keep you away from my wife! Just kiddin'... I like your style.Now my point is this: BE A CYNIC!!!I remember (not that long ago) my university professor saying how university sucked because by the time you got it, it was time to graduate. It seems like, in life, a lot of people haven't graduated. I'm a gullible person, and grew up that way, falling for every BS prank my brother pulled on me. He was/is a lot smarter. By the time I got to journalism school I felt like a fool because my opinion always swayed with whoever I interviewed last. To this day I feel the same: my opinions change daily, based on the last person I listened to. But the one good thing about my dumbass is I acknowledge it! I know I'm probably wrong, so whoever I'm listening to is probably wrong, too. That means that when a girl tells you something and you believe it... it's wrong. When a girl sways you one way about your money and investing and you buy into it.... it's wrong. When you ask a girl about her past and she says she's only been with one guy before you, and you believe that.... you're dumb. Being dumb is not the problem; thinking you're smart, is. Any relationship you go into, think skeptical. Try to break up with them. Try to replace them. Try to call them out. Get all that shiiiet out in front of you.... and then profess your love. Then, repeat cycle. Do this until you feel comfortable with the mess you got yourself into, and you're happy. If you're not happy, repeat cycle. ps: it's okay to trade women during a cycle.

[No name]

Cebu Experience took the words out of my text box: ask the questions, but who will answer honestly? That's the point I was going to make. We're guys and we lie about things. They're girls and they lie about things. Never think that you're lying but they're not, even about the smallest things! Especially about the smallest things.

Wow, in many way we do think a like, very much so as my friends often yell at me for being too hard on myself, like you seem to be.One big difference though, I don't lie about sex, well generally speaking. LOLNo, I'd bring my gf home to meet my wife...... I think I'll just leave it at that though.