United Army Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Well it looks like a friend of mine was right, never marry a women who has a child in the RP. I did almost a year ago and now....we are separating from each other. Main cause how to raise her child, she says that I'm to strict with her daughter and I think she is not strict enough with her. I have tried for the last 10 months to deal with this problem doing what I thought was the best and my wife went along with it, now to find out she does not like what I was doing. But anyway my wife left on the 13 of this month with her daughter to her parents house in Lapu-Lapu and we have been texting each other and it came out that a separation is needed. She left it up to me if we were to stay together and I decided not to. The word annulment has not come up yet. Now she wants to meet me next Wednesday, she wants financial support and furniture from our house. I really do not care about the furniture, the money I do. The child is hers from a previous relationship. So do I need to support her daughter? And do I need to support her?? and if so how much? Do I need to support her at all since she left. I do not want to piss her off and cause me more trouble so what is everybody's suggestion? This not a legal separation, the word separation came from her. What I said to her is that we should not be together. All comments and suggestions are welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I'm sorry to hear that Marko. I say, stick to your guns and remain separated. Start thinking about transferring your moneyto another account and canvas around for a good lawyer. If you have any hope still about continuing your marriage, seeksome professional counseling with both of you mandatory attendance. Thank you for sharing your personal problems with us -- Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
United Army Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 She does not have access to my bank accounts... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ekimswish Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 What were the problems with raising her kid? I've got a couple step kids myself, 10 year old boy and 12 year old girl. The girl seems very hard working and responsible. The boy is a bit quiet and wimpy, but apparently gets good grades in school. I like them both and want to be supportive of them, but I leave the raising of them to my wife. She's actually more of the hard ass between us, and I'm often telling her to chill out and not be so dramatic with her kids. At the same time, I expect them to work hard in school. We've also got two kids between us, so that changes the dynamics a little bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
United Army Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Sorry, this is a very long story and I just do not want to take the time and type now..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ekimswish Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) Sorry, this is a very long story and I just do not want to take the time and type now.....Fair enough. Sorry about your marriage though. Hope you get through it okay. My wife is pretty passionate that you SHOULD NOT support the kid, unless you adopted her and she took your name. Edited October 15, 2010 by ekimswish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
United Army Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 I did not adopt her, I was going to but the cost was around P100,000 way to much for just a name change, I told my wife maybe latter. I wanted to bring her and maybe her daughter over to the US to see my family before we think of adopting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No name Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Sorry to hear of your problems Marko.I'd probably leave before i paid her. Jamaica or Mexico would also be a nice place to live.Most of the time, I think they foreigner ends up paying. Even when not married.I'd love to know how this works out for you.Filipino raise their kids vastly different than we westerners do. They do seem to be more lax to me but their kids grow up very respectful and polite in most cases. So I just sit back and watch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Well it looks like a friend of mine was right, never marry a women who has a child in the RP. I did almost a year ago and now....we are separating from each other. Main cause how to raise her child, she says that I'm to strict with her daughter and I think she is not strict enough with her. I have tried for the last 10 months to deal with this problem doing what I thought was the best and my wife went along with it, now to find out she does not like what I was doing. But anyway my wife left on the 13 of this month with her daughter to her parents house in Lapu-Lapu and we have been texting each other and it came out that a separation is needed. She left it up to me if we were to stay together and I decided not to. The word annulment has not come up yet. Now she wants to meet me next Wednesday, she wants financial support and furniture from our house. I really do not care about the furniture, the money I do. The child is hers from a previous relationship. So do I need to support her daughter? And do I need to support her?? and if so how much? Do I need to support her at all since she left. I do not want to piss her off and cause me more trouble so what is everybody's suggestion? This not a legal separation, the word separation came from her. What I said to her is that we should not be together. All comments and suggestions are welcome. All I can say here is good luck my friend, and since you and I have gone back and forth in emails since before the beginning, then there is not much sense in my writing too much about it here. My only suggestion would be for you to talk to a good attorney, but always remember that the attorneys in the Philippines will most likely all be Filipinos, so they may lean towards her side, so finding one who will not take that view may take a while, but would be worth the expense of trying a few until you do and then the advice that one will give will be the one to follow. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roy2cebu Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 (edited) All the best with your situation Marko.Been there, on the verge again. First time in Uk probably married too young but have a lovely daughter that found me in Oz and loves me and has no time for her mother now for the lies she was brought up with and caused a 10 year no contact situation. This time, sick of of the crap that have put up with regarding my wife's family for too many years. Lies, deceit, lack of respect, taking things for granted.Don't worry, easier said than done, but at end of the day, life is too short for unhappiness.I found that out too late and it's detrimental to your life. I have never ever felt so stressed, depressed and lost. My identity stolen.Please don't 'hang in there'...get the eff outta it. Do it ASAP. Don't be Mr. Nice Guy...trying to do the right thing, considering others before yourself, as I did, because you will end up an emotional, alcoholic, fretting freak.Time to harden the heart...fight for your rights and move on.I will never forget my mum's comment that she would be happy to go as she suffered breast cancer at 60 yrs old. when she should be retiring, enjoying life and her grand kids. I have had the same thought..lost and bereft. But I will fight on. You have to do the same.Don't let the bastards grind you down..(I did post the latin version of that somewhere..hehe).Take care mate...good luck! Edited October 16, 2010 by roy2cebu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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