Travis Posted December 22, 2010 Posted December 22, 2010 (edited) :help56: something has been troubling me since getting back here & I thought it might be a good topic for discussion coz I realize now that I had only a couple of friends while I lived in Cebu mostly coz I am a loner :( but I am happy that way :) & while I did have friends to talk to on the phone unless they lived in Cebu they would have a hard time understanding how confused I was about life there & what I needed to do to fix the problem. :unsure: so I am wondering how do you spot a good expat coz most I observed were losers by US standards? OK I do not mean to be negative saying this coz I know a lot of you got fed up of my negative attitude & I am much happier now & besides that most of the members on this forum do not fit into that category so is it that those who are in committed relationships are different? or maybe most of the members on here are secure in who they are so maybe that is it? :89: rarely do members on here attack each other unless they deserve it like I did while I was so unhappy while it is a hourly occurance on some of the other forums so how do you explain it? :541: :89: :e3358: & then brocks offer for me to live in his house for free totally blew me away so then I knew there were kind people as well as the bad & I only wish I got to meet more of the nice people while I was living there :( to all & to all a good night Edited December 22, 2010 by Mr. Lee fix emoticon spacing 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 They otta wear a sign saying "I am a good expat" Seriously, If you look in church you will find religious expats. If you look in the bar you will find alcoholic expats. If you look in this forum you will find writers and computer aficionados. Which ones are good? I find good and bad in most of us so I just accept the parts I like in a person and try to ignore the parts that rub me the wrong way. If too much that a person says and does "rubs me the wrong way" then I stay as far from that person as I can. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 (edited) They otta wear a sign saying "I am a good expat" Seriously, If you look in church you will find religious expats. If you look in the bar you will find alcoholic expats. If you look in this forum you will find writers and computer aficionados. Which ones are good? I find good and bad in most of us so I just accept the parts I like in a person and try to ignore the parts that rub me the wrong way. If too much that a person says and does "rubs me the wrong way" then I stay as far from that person as I can. "so I am wondering how do you spot a good expat coz most I observed were losers by US standards?"Seriously, I think Dave has a great idea about wearing a sign around our necks to encourage introverts to meet and greet.That way, their (his) preconceived notion is not automatically biased in a negative way. For example, you may see an overweight sun burnt "whale" walking around with a young and beautiful Filipina. Right behind them, you see an overweight sun burnt whale with an older, less attractive Filipina. What's the difference? Absolutely nothing in my book. I don't prejudgeanyone and I will at least try to say hello or good morning rather than keeping my distance to observe and conclude that theyare losers. Who do I make friends with? Anybody and everybody!One of these days, I will purposely stay outside the establishments where foreigners hang out. I will dress like a regular tricycledriver, doing the joe squat, waiting for a psssst. I wonder how many of them would prejudge me? Would I be a lesser man ifI spoke with a broken accent or equal when you finally get to know me?Sorry, the OP affected my Christmas spirit and I don't like the feeling.......come on guys, hit me with a dirty joke or somethin'.Jake Edited December 23, 2010 by Jake 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 (edited) There are a wide range of varying attitudes amongst different catagories of people living in the Philippines with an aray of differnet lifestyles depending on ones finacial status! Yes, it's always a matter of money and in how certain people portray themselves! You look poor, then people preceives you as poor! You appear to look wealthy, then you appear to people as being well off and content! But there are others where you can't really prejudge by one's looks, because one can appear to look poor, but behind the exterior he or she may have more money than you! And the one's who like to show off their wealth materialistly are probably in debt up to their ears just to impress the Jones! So, don't prejudge people by how they look like! It takes personal relationships to really to get to know some one over time, weather it be in person or on forums such as this one! Hey, that's how I met my Buddy Jake, on a previous forum and then on this one! And when we were on vacation a few months ago in California, I made the effort to go see my friend Jake and it felt as if we were friends for a long time just at our first meeting! And as it turned out, Jake even knew a few friends ours from long ago! Small world! So, if one wants to know other people, it just takes a little effort on one's part to do so or when the circumstance presents itself enabling one to do so! I don't have many friends here in the Philippines, but the ones we do have are now close friends of ours and I also try to stay in touch with those friends and families in the U.S.! Where am I going with this? Life is what we all make it to be! That's what I'm getting at! Edited December 23, 2010 by Fil/AmArt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum Support Old55 Posted December 23, 2010 Forum Support Posted December 23, 2010 You may have seen this tall older Foreigner with a young short Filipina in a local mall at sometime or other. She is my niece and I love her like a daughter. Again what you think could be far from reality. :D 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ekimswish Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 You may have seen this tall older Foreigner with a young short Filipina in a local mall at sometime or other. She is my niece and I love her like a daughter. Again what you think could be far from reality. :DExcellent point. Even though I might not have ANYTHING in common with another foreigner, I'll still hang out with them just to be a "homey". I mean, maybe they don't care and it means nothing, but maybe they do care and it means the world to have another person to chat with who's somewhat familiar with where they're coming from. We might also be complete foreigners to each other. I met a French guy at the beach two weeks ago. There's a guy from Georgia/Tennessee in my town. But we can pretend to be familiar with each other's background. When I'm done hanging out with them, I go back home and hang out with the Filipinos. One thing I noticed while walking in downtown Tacloban the other day was us foreigners are a scrubby looking bunch. I mean, the guys were all unshaven and in wife-beaters (undershirts), or cheap t-shirts which might's well have been wife-beaters. Then I realized I looked the same. My conclusion for them was the same as for myself: westerners don't cope well with the tropical heat, and while on vacation would rather dress down than up. It doesn't mean we're a bunch of scrubs all the time. It just means we look like scrubs while on vacation in a tropical land, and maybe we're too busy relaxing to shave. It's nice to kick off the Sunday shoes. I usually walk around my street with the shirt off just because all the local guys do it, and it's been a dream of mine my whole life to wear next to nothing. Hey, what can I say? I shaved my belly the other day and everyone noticed. Anyways, I've rotated most of my adult life between respectable guy with values and dirt bag and back and forth. We've all got the potential to be both. Everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt at first. If they're not your cup of tea... move on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brock Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 They otta wear a sign saying "I am a good expat" Seriously, If you look in church you will find religious expats. If you look in the bar you will find alcoholic expats. If you look in this forum you will find writers and computer aficionados. Which ones are good? I find good and bad in most of us so I just accept the parts I like in a person and try to ignore the parts that rub me the wrong way. If too much that a person says and does "rubs me the wrong way" then I stay as far from that person as I can.Dave, Your post made me laugh.....I have been to church with my wife, Because she asked me to go with her, I do not believe in religion, Their is a lot of evil people who are religious, So going to church does not make you a good person..When I`m there I go out to different bars 6 or 7 nights a week, I take Che Che, out once or twice with me, I admit some expats I have seen might be a little under the influence of drink,Only ever seen one that was really drunk, I dont think if you look in bars you will see alcoholic expats, I am far from being an alcoholic, I never get drunk, Never drink at home, But I do go out every night, So going to bars all the time does not make you a bad person.As you say, Which ones are good.Think I will get a shirt printed saying... I am good...most of the time.Regards Brock. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmusslewhite Posted December 23, 2010 Posted December 23, 2010 Though I do not live in Cebu, being a resident in Surigao City on North Mindanao. I am reclusive being a family man and having been self employed for so many years. I never mixed business relations or employees into our social life. I had a small group of friends that were close as family. I do spend time with types that I would not do so if back in the States. I have met many foreign folks that I would have never had the pleasure to have ever met their acquaintance. So locking for friends is a mix bag and a mixed blessing here in the Philippines.There are Land Sharks and Land Pirates here too mixed among the herd. In the last 2 years beginning to socialize, but I am selected few to really come to my home. I rent a nice place, but I am home most nights. A small expat community in Surigao are mostly married and Family folks, but good people. We have 2 regular meetings of expats and their families, and we network.All you can do is lay back and observe, see their actions and reactions. I tend to use a modified baseball rule "4 Stricks and Your Out!". I am more forgiving thus the "forth strick" rule. Being a family man my primary responsibility is to the well being of my family and home. I observe with a honed eye and years of practice studying body language, temperance, and human nature. I will often meet them several times before I actually invite a new person into my home. Been married 24 years and have a 16 year old son and our family life is very relaxed with few stresses. My wife is presently in Houston right now, and will be there for six to eight more months. I am presently being Mr. Mom and insuring the household is safe and healthy, so my wife will not kick my ass for slacking. Please understand I am almost 6 foot and 230 lbs. ex-Marine, but my 4' 11" 120 lbs wife scares the hell out of me.I have met some quality expats here, but I have met quality Filipino friends as well. I know that if something were to happen to me, my Filipino friends would protect my son until proper arrangements were completed. They would be the ones I could trust to do the right thing. Do not pass up an opportunity to make friends with Filipinos and expats, but you do not have to allow everyone access to your home. Trust your gut-instincts, and I hope you meet folks like I have met, because they do enhance the overall quality of the household. When you do invite friends over to met the family, meals are nice, but the wife works too hard with preparations, cooking, serving, and cleanup. So when deciding to entertain it is best to inform the wife so she has ample time to properly prepare or cater the meal, so your wife can enjoy the evening's enjoyments and entertainment. Good luck to you.. . . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travis Posted December 23, 2010 Author Posted December 23, 2010 I did not judge them by their looks or clothes although many should be ashamed of how they dress but I did judge them by their actions ie loud mouth & how they treat the woman they are with & the locals such as servers in restaurants & stores & to me they failed in all 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted December 24, 2010 Posted December 24, 2010 I did not judge them by their looks or clothes although many should be ashamed of how they dress but I did judge them by their actions ie loud mouth & how they treat the woman they are with & the locals such as servers in restaurants & stores & to me they failed in all http://www.philippin...indpost&p=27570 dated August 13, 2010The above link covers the loud mouth and maybe worth a repeat for the new members.Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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