Travis Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 How do I find a good Filipina? I have read so much on other forums and it seems that so many people are very unhappy with their Filipino families. There is just so much negativity on some forums and this one seems much better. I would like a good wife, but I sure do not want a pain in the a** family. So how do I get a good wife without the bad family? Maybe some of you guys who are happily married can tell me their secret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMason Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 How do I find a good Filipina? I have read so much on other forums and it seems that so many people are very unhappy with their Filipino families. There is just so much negativity on some forums and this one seems much better. I would like a good wife, but I sure do not want a pain in the a** family. So how do I get a good wife without the bad family? Maybe some of you guys who are happily married can tell me their secret.It's really pretty easy. Don't come to the Philippines with the intention of marrying and taking someone home with you. If you come here intending to shop for a wife, you will find a wife that can be bought, and that's the type of woman that usually comes with lots of baggage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum Support Old55 Posted January 12, 2009 Forum Support Posted January 12, 2009 If you spend time with your girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 How do I find a good Filipina? I have read so much on other forums and it seems that so many people are very unhappy with their Filipino families. There is just so much negativity on some forums and this one seems much better. I would like a good wife, but I sure do not want a pain in the a** family. So how do I get a good wife without the bad family? Maybe some of you guys who are happily married can tell me their secret.Don't come looking for one........just let be! :1 (103): Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom_shor Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I might also add that some of the guys that have trouble with families bring it on themselves. They think marrying the girl severs the family ties and as we all know this is not true. It is a good idea to spend some time getting to know the family before you jump in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 (edited) IMO, finding a good lady would require taking money out of the equation. In other words, everyone in the Philippines thinks Kano's (and that includes all white or black foreigners, no matter what country they are from) are very rich and no amount of explanation will change those thoughts, so the answer will be in your actions. Do not buy the lady or her family by giving cash or large ticket gifts. If she and her family do not want you for you, then you do not want her at all.Once you have decided on a lady, get her obligations out in the open. Ask how much she is expected to support her family and don't find out later. If a woman is working and sending or bringing money home, IMHO it would be unreasonable to expect that to stop, so find out up front what she and her family expects from you and if you cannot accept the cultural aspects of family helping family, then do not marry a Filipina.I think about 1 out of 10 of the ladies you meet on the Internet or even in person, will be good ladies, read between the lines and do not get blinded by beauty alone. Look for inner beauty. Become friends first and then move on to a relationship. Tell ladies that you might be looking for a lifetime partner in the future, but right now you are looking for a friends to show you around the Philippines and maybe slowly grow into partners. IMO, dating and getting to know Philippine ladies is basically no different from dating ladies from your own country. Choose wisely and take your time and be sure to read the warning signs. Do not fall in lust, fall in love. Edited January 12, 2009 by Mr. Lee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
til Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I agree with many posters here: take your time to get to know the lady. Most scammers and the like will be easely spotted after some time. There is a thin line though between beeing wary and wise or too much mistrust. If you go the route to meet on the Internet be aware that the percentage of scammers is quite high. Try to get in contact with some friends/family of that lady as well. This will help you to get a feeling for how honest she is. Be aware that she has reasons to mistrust you as well, there is good and bad on both sides. Try to find out how she feels about you coming to the phils to live there with you (to sort out the green card scammers), if you do support her, try to see how she reacts when you cut the support (tell her you got no oney right now or have to save for the plane ticket). I believe that not all girls are bad, even if they ask for money. It's just there reaction if they don't get any which will tell you if she's only after money or considering marriage with a foreigner and does actually like you. Of course you must be aware that "looking for a better life" almost always plays a role if a girl is considering to marry a foreigner. If she's good, she will try to find a nice guy she can fall in love with. And she should be honest about her motives though.I believe some Filipinas (Woman everywhere actually) have serious mental problems. So watch out for emotional stability as well. Misunderstandings and some crying or tampo are normal, especially in a long distance relationship. Blaming and fighting is not a good sign though.Ask a lot of questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
til Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 And one more thing: ask for her friendster profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 And one more thing: ask for her friendster profile.I agree because her Friendster will tell it all! :th_thimage_265775: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Til, I think the friendster profile is a great idea, but I have to disagree with you on the support issue, and I am talking about before meeting the lady and you may be talking about after meeting her? .......... IMO and from the actual marriages and relationships that I have seen, if a lady asks for money at the beginning and you give it, then that lady and quite possibly her whole family, is bound to be asking for money throughout your whole future relationship with that lady. ..........Of course there are exceptions, and there are things that sending money for that would be OK IMO, such as real health issues, but the one thing that a lot of men forget is, that these same ladies seemed to get along before we sent them money, yes they did not live a good life but they did manage and us throwing money at them will only make their families want money later on. Take it from someone who has been married for a while and who knows a lot of Filipina/ Kano marriages, most money given, just ends up wasted by family members. Again, it is all going to be different in different situations, but from what I have seen, give your gf money and her family gets their cut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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