I Need Convincing

[chriseleanor]

i just dont know what to do,i live in australia and own my house,car,and have some cash,  i like living where i am,  i have a philippino partner that i have known for 3 half years,we want her to migrate to australia but it is taking so much time and money getting it all set up,annaulment and every thing,if and when she does come here she will have to work,find a job,she has a family in philippines,she will need to get a drivers licence,there is not much work here,its going to be hard very hard,i am 61 she is 48,i have some minor med conditions,i should be sitting back take it easy now,insted i am getting deeper and deeper into stress and wory about every thing ,  how it will all work out,   now i deed convincing to just up and move to cebu or some where  go where life is easy and we can be together,should i do that or take the chances and worry here,  see if you can convince me,  i will be honest i am scared to make the plunge,  i have it all here but not her,and when she comes it will be hard to live ,so what do i do ,my head is spinning,if i go i will be burning all my bridges,  

[Jollygoodfellow]

Perhaps sell the car, rent the house out and maybe you have enough cash and rental income to live happily in Cebu. Seems to me you think that there will be more problems and perhaps financial trouble if your partner moves to Australia so perhaps its best if you go there. If all works out or not you can either sell the house and stay in Cebu or move back later if not.

 

what does your partner want to do?  

[MikeB]

I believe most people who move here are very happy at first and day by day, as the novelties wear off, become worn down and frustrated dealing with the conditions of a 3rd world country. If you are on the fence about it and happy where you are I would stay there and keep working at getting your partner there. Come here on vacations, you'll like it a lot more. 

[chriseleanor]

thanks guys,my partner wants to try and come here first,and if we fail then me go there,but she does not understand how hard it will be 4 her to get a job here,and there will be a lot of hard ships to overcome,   i realy want to stay here as well   but keep reading and thinking of a better life there,  is it really that good   rember i have it good here now    but its just me now .

[chriseleanor]

I believe most people who move here are very happy at first and day by day, as the novelties wear off, become worn down and frustrated dealing with the conditions of a 3rd world country. If you are on the fence about it and happy where you are I would stay there and keep working at getting your partner there. Come here on vacations, you'll like it a lot more. 

thanks mikeb,  thats what i am worried about,  the grass lookes better that side of the fence,  is it really really that good a life there 

[Dave Hounddriver]

is it really really that good a life there 

 

Interesting question.  If you totalled how many leave Philippines for a life in Australia and how many leave Australia for a life in Philippines and then add how many live 6 months a year in each place, I wonder how the numbers would look.

 

There are a lot of Aussies who live near me.  Almost without exception they spend from 2 to 10 months of the year in Australia.  Many different reasons but they all go back from time to time.  Perhaps it is because Australia is so close but the same is not true of north Americans. Only about half of the North Americans I know go back more than once every couple years.

 

What does that mean?  It means to me that people are happiest here when they can afford to have the best of both worlds.

[lyno 47]

Chriseleanor  I have spent a fair amount of time in the phils my partner is Filipina,each time I go back I find the longer I want to stay there.I have kids and grand kids and I know I will miss them,but now its time for me to be where I want to be,i will sell every thing up and move to Cebu in sept or oct 2014.That does not mean I wont have an exit plan if I need to come back home,which I will do  once or twice a year,my kids have said they will come and visit.As I am now in the  later stages of my life I just want to be able to put my feet up and relax,as prices rise in the cost of living in oz I can see myself in a few years with a blanket over my knees being afraid to turn on the heater because of the costs.Know one knows how long each of us will live so my view is to make hay while the sun still shines on me. :cheersty:

[paulus]

Right mate, first you have to deal with this stress thing - if you dont do that you will make decisions you might regret later. Why don't you list all these challenges you and gf are facing and put them into categories - lilke living in Oz, living in Phils etc. Those challenges you listed in your post may be just the tip of iceberg. After making list, then deal with each item one by one. Keep your cool man, and take your time.

You need to check with Social Security whether your pension will decrease if gf comes to live with you in Aust. What are the real prospects of her getting a local job, is she 'overage', and what sort of money can she get? Remember, there are employers out there who would happily exploit her willingness to work. On your present income, assuming it is not reduced, can you manage to make ends meet? I live in Phils coz I could no longer afford to live in Aust in the life style i have been used to. So have a think along those lines. Remember, there is not much future sitting looking at each other all day just coz you can't afford to get out.

 

If you reckon you should come to Phils, there are many issues to consider. Can you speak their language? Might seem silly to ask but if you are Australian you will be surprised to hear that you speak with accent. Some pilipinos in the provinces have difficulty with Aust English. You will probably decide not to drive in Phils - the traffic is Rafferty's rules as you will be aware. Can you happily use jeepneys and trikes? Remember they are built for smaller people.

 

From what i read here on the forum, I get the impression that rent in Cebu City or even Cebu Province is fairly heafty. You will need to put a budget together while your there in Aust, and check and re-do a few times to get the required confidence you obviously need to make the move. And Yes! Life can be fun in Phils, just bring your sense of humour with you. Promise you, you will need it.

 

Mate, am willing to chat if you reckon it will help. There's plenty of fine print to check before any move one way or another.

 

Remember things might look bad, but they could be worse so lets hear how you go with it mate!!!!!!!!!!!!.

[Bruce]

and thinking of a better life there, is it really that good rember i have it good here now but its just me now .

 

You have already answered your own question. The term 'better' is subjective to not only person and place, but also time and time changes things.  

 

Things are good now, not due to her but to money. Your money. Keep the money aspect for if you loose that, you loose everything. Let her come to you and as hard as it may seem, you still can send her back and revert back to your status before she arrived.

 

If she comes, she has a chance to get a job and income. If she does not come, then there is NO chance for a job and income. If she fails and has to return to Phils, you are still there and working or having whatever income you have and then can start again in 6 months or a year or 5 years depending on your retirement plans and SS income in Oz (I have no idea about that).   

[chriseleanor]

hi paulus,thanks 4 replying,i have only been there once,that was 3 weeks ago,and only 4 a week,to meet her family,no way could i live in manila,we were in alabang and no way could i live there or any place like that,i would like a nice quite place near the beach ,with a view,my girl is scared of tsunarmie,she was in japan when they had the one there,if she comes to aus then we will have to marry and yes my pension will drop down from a single rate of $808 a fortnight to married rate of about 560,and if she starts work and earns over $268 a fortnight they cut it even more,so could find that she is earning a wage but gov cut me rite back,so a big worry there,if we live in philippines we would not marry so my pension would only be cut by about $60,i could rent this house out,but she wants to sell and buy one over there,yes in her name lol,but i trust her.i would by a cheep car just to drive local,finding a job here is going to be hard i live in tasmania,worst state in aus for jobs,   you no its like this,if she could come here and work a full time job with a good wage then every thing would be just fine but i dont think that will happen easly,but i just dont know,  and our main thing is we want to live together,  i am very bored here now,i have lived with her for 10 months off and on in japan so i know we can get on ok,its just trying to think where we will be best off,   i want to be safe,and not have to worry about people robbing me at night,and i want to be comfortable if i live there,i just dont know what to do 4 the best.