I'd Like Your Opinion Please

[Paul Dean]

Hello everyone: ikinagalak ong makilala kayo! My name is Paul. I have been doing research on the Philippines for over two years; yes, I'm the look before you leap kind of guy. I'd like to tell you all about my situation, why I've chosen to move the Philippines in six months, and what my budget and plans are. I'd like your, sometimes, insightful advice and thoughts on these topics. Thank you very much.

 

So, I am a writer. I am currently working on my first novel, and will have that published (probably on amazon kindle) before I go. I have a fixed income, SSDI, of $772 each month. For the purposes of currency fluctuations, I'm calling that 30,000 pesos a month. So, here in the USA, I can rent a room in a clean and sober house for $475 a month, but that is a poor option to say the least. Realistically, my budget without foodstamps would allow me approximately the same standard of living in the Philippines: the exception being that I would be able to rent a studio or even a house instead of a room. 

 

My true purpose for moving is the people. You see, I have co-morbid disabilities. The one that is of importance in this context is Asperger's syndrome. Basically, I have an extremely difficult time making friends because I do not pick up on non verbal cues very well. I am of the opinion that I would have a much easier time gaining friends and a girlfriend in the Philippines. The latter of those two is only difficult because of my financial situation.

 

I have chosen Davao because I am an ex smoker, and desire a certain lifestyle devoid of the criminal elements. Davao's mayor has made that city very safe. Also, my great uncle lives on Samal island, which is 15 minutes by ferry from Davao. Not to mention that Davao is one of the cheaper cities. I am already aware of the issues on Mindanao that people are likely to bring up, so I'd like to politely ask you to save your breath in regards to that topic. Mostly, I believe that the people in the Philippines will be much nicer to me than the people here in Washington state. Here, well, I don't need to tell most of you about how people are. 

 

I have devised a budget: 7,000 for rent inclusive of internet (I already found the place that offers this), 3,000 for water and electricity, 3,000 for visa fees, 3,000 for transportation, 2,000 for phone, 10,000 for food, and 2,000 for clothes. I purposefully inflated some of those expenses, but they equal out to 30,000 peso per month. I expect my income to be raised to $783 dollars a month with this coming year's COLA (cost of living adjustment). So as long as the exchange rate remains above 38:$1 then I should be alright. I'd like you to tell me if this doesn't sound like a good budget to you.

 

A lot of people may be asking why not stay in the US and make money. Well, I am disabled: out of the dozens of jobs I've had, I could only maintain employment as a pizza delivery driver for more than three months. Even that job, and I've done that job about 5 times already, is difficult if not impossible for me to keep up. Even though I am a trained CNC machinist, working is just not feasible at this point in my life. That is why SS gives me money every month. I want to do what I can within the limitations that God gave me though. That is why I have chosen to develop my skill at writing. Someday, I might be very successful. 

 

The truth is, I also have Complex-PTSD, and I wasn't in the military. Because of both my poverty and my differences I have been witness to and the victim of a lot of crime. Let me tell you that no amount of depravity can shock me anymore. I could tell you dozens of stories that wake me up in the middle of the night, but I won't. I'll tell you one so you have some idea, and it will be drastically shortened. I faced down a pimp who had a shotgun pointed in my face. He was pimping out a 14 year old girl who he had gotten hooked on heroin after killing her brother: her brother was taking care of her after their parents died. I rescued her and helped her get into a foster home. I have dozens of stories, including murders which I witnessed, and some things that were even worse. Long story cut short is that I want to get out of this area that reminds me of these things daily. And I also want to go somewhere that has people who will be friendly to me. 

 

I don't know for sure that it would work out, but I have been saving money so I can check it out. At worst it will be a learning experience and a short visit. I have ten thousand dollars saved, the willpower not to touch it, and the desire to go to Davao if only to check it out. If I do decide to live there then I would continue writing my novels, and hopefully be in a much more relaxed and friendly environment. I'm turning 26 soon, and have been saving money for a long time. I want to restart my life and I feel like this is a good option for me. Please, tell me your thoughts. Salamat.

 

 

 

Post Script: Thank you all for the wonderful information that I have been able to find on all these different forums and also youtube, you have been very informative.

[Dave Hounddriver]

I'm turning 26 soon, and have been saving money for a long time. I want to restart my life and I feel like this is a good option for me.

 

If you were a filipino, writing the same letter while living in the Philippines, I would say:  Hell yes, move to the US.  There are limited opportunities for young people here in Philippines and even less if you have a disability to cope with.

 

Basically, I have an extremely difficult time making friends because I do not pick up on non verbal cues very well. I am of the opinion that I would have a much easier time gaining friends and a girlfriend in the Philippines.

 

This last clue is the clincher.  A network of friends in Philippines is extremely important and it is not as easy as buying them to get friends in the Philippines.  The entire bureaucracy of the Philippines is a network of friends and family.  I can't even wish you luck on this one as I believe if you cannot restart your life where you are at then a 'location fix' is not going to help either.

[Paul Dean]

 

I'm turning 26 soon, and have been saving money for a long time. I want to restart my life and I feel like this is a good option for me.

 

If you were a filipino, writing the same letter while living in the Philippines, I would say:  Hell yes, move to the US.  There are limited opportunities for young people here in Philippines and even less if you have a disability to cope with.

 

 

 

Basically, I have an extremely difficult time making friends because I do not pick up on non verbal cues very well. I am of the opinion that I would have a much easier time gaining friends and a girlfriend in the Philippines.

 

This last clue is the clincher.  A network of friends in Philippines is extremely important and it is not as easy as buying them to get friends in the Philippines.  The entire bureaucracy of the Philippines is a network of friends and family.  I can't even wish you luck on this one as I believe if you cannot restart your life where you are at then a 'location fix' is not going to help either.

 

Thank you for your reply Dave. I would like to say that I'm not looking for any economic opportunities specific to the region. I am a writer, and make my own opportunities regardless of the location I'm in. Also, a network of friends is important anywhere, I cannot speak as to the importance in the Philippines, but it is certainly possible that it is more important there. Where I am, people assume that I am not attentive to their emotional needs and often think of me as an A-hole. I do not mean to be offensive here, and I'm sorry if it comes off that way, but you are probably ignorant in regards to Asperger's. There is no fixing it, but there are ways to cope: one of those ways is to live in a country where my differences are more likely to be attributed to culture than to personality traits. That being said, I can always go back to the USA if I don't like it. The simple truth is that I do not like it where I am, and the only feasible way to change that is to change locations. 

 

I am not going to be dissuaded from my choice. I am looking for input though, so thank you for yours Dave

[Jollygoodfellow]

I have devised a budget: 7,000 for rent inclusive of internet (I already found the place that offers this), 3,000 for water and electricity, 3,000 for visa fees, 3,000 for transportation, 2,000 for phone, 10,000 for food, and 2,000 for clothes. I purposefully inflated some of those expenses, but they equal out to 30,000 peso per month. I expect my income to be raised to $783 dollars a month with this coming year's COLA (cost of living adjustment). So as long as the exchange rate remains above 38:$1 then I should be alright. I'd like you to tell me if this doesn't sound like a good budget to you.

 

You have not allowed for ongoing visa fees

 

I don't know for sure that it would work out, but I have been saving money so I can check it out. At worst it will be a learning experience and a short visit.

 

A visit is what is needed as you may have researched for a couple of years but reality of actually being on the ground may well be completely different to as what you have in your mind. 

[Paul Dean]

 

I have devised a budget: 7,000 for rent inclusive of internet (I already found the place that offers this), 3,000 for water and electricity, 3,000 for visa fees, 3,000 for transportation, 2,000 for phone, 10,000 for food, and 2,000 for clothes. I purposefully inflated some of those expenses, but they equal out to 30,000 peso per month. I expect my income to be raised to $783 dollars a month with this coming year's COLA (cost of living adjustment). So as long as the exchange rate remains above 38:$1 then I should be alright. I'd like you to tell me if this doesn't sound like a good budget to you.

 

You have not allowed for ongoing visa fees

 

 

 

I don't know for sure that it would work out, but I have been saving money so I can check it out. At worst it will be a learning experience and a short visit.

 

A visit is what is needed as you may have researched for a couple of years but reality of actually being on the ground may well be completely different to as what you have in your mind. 

 

Look closer, I over allowed for visa fees by about php 500. And I agree, no amount of research could give me an accurate picture of what it would truly be like. Thanks Jollygoodfellow :)

[RBM]

My true purpose for moving is the people. You see, I have co-morbid disabilities. The one that is of importance in this context is Asperger's syndrome. Basically, I have an extremely difficult time making friends because I do not pick up on non verbal cues very well. I am of the opinion that I would have a much easier time gaining friends and a girlfriend in the Philippines. The latter of those two is only difficult because of my financial situation.

 

Paul even with your disabilities there will be no problem making friends of both sexes.

 

So long as your skin is white a great many of the locals including educated people will perceive you as being wealthy.

 

First I would caution you here to exercise great care  and choose your friends slowly.

 

Secondly have you considered the medical care here? I some how doubt it would be suitable for your  conditions, perhaps this could be looked into before your planed move.

 

If your decision is Davao there is bound to members whom are able to advise on locations, Davao is a huge city.

[Paul Dean]

 

My true purpose for moving is the people. You see, I have co-morbid disabilities. The one that is of importance in this context is Asperger's syndrome. Basically, I have an extremely difficult time making friends because I do not pick up on non verbal cues very well. I am of the opinion that I would have a much easier time gaining friends and a girlfriend in the Philippines. The latter of those two is only difficult because of my financial situation.

 

Paul even with your disabilities there will be no problem making friends of both sexes.

 

So long as your skin is white a great many of the locals including educated people will perceive you as being wealthy.

 

First I would caution you here to exercise great care  and choose your friends slowly.

 

Secondly have you considered the medical care here? I some how doubt it would be suitable for your  conditions, perhaps this could be looked into before your planed move.

 

If your decision is Davao there is bound to members whom are able to advise on locations, Davao is a huge city.

 

I have to agree with you on the white skin thing, my research has said the same. That being said, I'm no stranger to human nature and have become street smart enough to know when someone is not genuine in most cases. I have considered medical care, and I do not take any medicines. The reason why I have saved up so much money is in the event of an accident I would have enough to pay for hospital care. Overall, I am in very good health and am also young, so I do not foresee this being a problem but have reserve cash in case it is. Thanks for the advice RBM :)

Edited September 28, 2014 by MikeB
Removed inappropriate

[UnCheckedOther]

Aloha, Paul Dean! Welcome to the forum! First of all, thank you for your thoughtful introduction. I work closely with people who have special needs and/or trauma, so I understand how much courage it takes to speak about how these things have impacted you. It seems to me that you have a clear understanding of your challenges, and are working on building up a strong toolbox to help you thrive (not just survive). Kudos to you! You're right that there's no "fixing" you. You are neither broken nor damaged. You just need slight improvements, as we all do.

I understand Dave's concern. Disabilities as a whole are not as easily understood nor accommodated in the Philippines. For instance, my grandmother's maid's daughter had problems growing up and was shuttled between arbularios (faith healers) and priests who concurred that she was possessed by the devil or encantos. Here in the US, she might be diagnosed as either having bipolar or schizophrenia. However, in there, the stigma of mental illness is worse than the stigma of being possessed. I supppose this is chiefly because the country is largely Catholic and because of saving face. Please do not misunderstand; I am not equating Asperger's with bipolar or schizophrenia. I am just sharing an example of how the Philippines is a magical place where people can seamlessly transition. It has its challenges, but from your post, it appears you aren't afraid of them.

You already are taking proactive measures to live the best life you can while dealing with Asperger's. It sounds like you made up your mind already, so when you get here, take things slowly. Do not try to rush things or think that starting fresh means trying to be someone that you are not. For starters, before you come, try to find affinity groups. See if there is a writer's group in Davao that you can join. From there and from your neighbourhood, your network can grow organically.

Your budget is a bit concerning. You should always have a cushion because life happens. Is there any other way you could supplement your income? Maybe you could advertise around university campuses in Davao that you are available for English lessons (conversational, academic, busineas, etc.) or for editing work. You'reba writer, right? Back when I was at uni, I wrote essays for Planet Essay and synopses of books. You could also start a blog and monetize it. You have options, so do further research on what is most feasible and comfortable for you.

Stay strong, dude. Save, save, save. Research, research, research. Hope for the best. Think about the worst case scenario, multiply that by a hundred, and plan for that.

As for PTSD, well, nightmares are no fun thing, and I worry for you re: triggers when you're in a foreign place. So please, whether it's an actual place or a state of mind, I hope you have easy access to your safe place while you're there.

Eh. TL; DR. Stay safe!

[stevewool]

Hi there Paul, you have a small budget but just like me you have a plan, stick to the plan and stick to the budget and you will be fine, the savings is a escape plan , good luck

[UnCheckedOther]

Oops...I meant to say that the Philippines is NOT a magical place where people can just seamlessly transition.