I'd Like Your Opinion Please

[Paul Dean]

Aloha, Paul Dean! Welcome to the forum! First of all, thank you for your thoughtful introduction. I work closely with people who have special needs and/or trauma, so I understand how much courage it takes to speak about how these things have impacted you. It seems to me that you have a clear understanding of your challenges, and are working on building up a strong toolbox to help you thrive (not just survive). Kudos to you! You're right that there's no "fixing" you. You are neither broken nor damaged. You just need slight improvements, as we all do.

I understand Dave's concern. Disabilities as a whole are not as easily understood nor accommodated in the Philippines. For instance, my grandmother's maid's daughter had problems growing up and was shuttled between arbularios (faith healers) and priests who concurred that she was possessed by the devil or encantos. Here in the US, she might be diagnosed as either having bipolar or schizophrenia. However, in there, the stigma of mental illness is worse than the stigma of being possessed. I supppose this is chiefly because the country is largely Catholic and because of saving face. Please do not misunderstand; I am not equating Asperger's with bipolar or schizophrenia. I am just sharing an example of how the Philippines is a magical place where people can seamlessly transition. It has its challenges, but from your post, it appears you aren't afraid of them.

You already are taking proactive measures to live the best life you can while dealing with Asperger's. It sounds like you made up your mind already, so when you get here, take things slowly. Do not try to rush things or think that starting fresh means trying to be someone that you are not. For starters, before you come, try to find affinity groups. See if there is a writer's group in Davao that you can join. From there and from your neighbourhood, your network can grow organically.

Your budget is a bit concerning. You should always have a cushion because life happens. Is there any other way you could supplement your income? Maybe you could advertise around university campuses in Davao that you are available for English lessons (conversational, academic, busineas, etc.) or for editing work. You'reba writer, right? Back when I was at uni, I wrote essays for Planet Essay and synopses of books. You could also start a blog and monetize it. You have options, so do further research on what is most feasible and comfortable for you.

Stay strong, dude. Save, save, save. Research, research, research. Hope for the best. Think about the worst case scenario, multiply that by a hundred, and plan for that.

As for PTSD, well, nightmares are no fun thing, and I worry for you re: triggers when you're in a foreign place. So please, whether it's an actual place or a state of mind, I hope you have easy access to your safe place while you're there.

Eh. TL; DR. Stay safe!

Thanks uncheckedother, a very thoughtful reply. I can tell you are a person of compassion, and that will take you far if you can put up with the pain that comes with it. I currently write for constantcontent, and they provide me with a couple hundred dollars extra each month. I budgeted with my guaranteed income though, which is why it is kind of tight. I used to write for textbrokers as well, and can easily make a hundred dollars a month there. I know that neither of those are a for sure thing, so I didn't include them in my income. That being said, I do have a strong enough command of the language to tutor, if there is a demand for it. And my first book will be out in about four months, so I might have a bit of income from that as well. Overall, you advice is very sound and I will certainly reread your reply and think on your words in depth. Thank you so much :)

[Dave Hounddriver]

I am not going to be dissuaded from my choice

 

In the title of your thread you ask for opinions.  I suspected that what you really want is people to agree with you and this statement confirms my suspicions.  There are other people with disabilities here.  Try to google Mark "Happy" Cohen and you will find an older, like minded soul.

[Paul Dean]

 

I am not going to be dissuaded from my choice

 

In the title of your thread you ask for opinions.  I suspected that what you really want is people to agree with you and this statement confirms my suspicions.  There are other people with disabilities here.  Try to google Mark "Happy" Cohen and you will find an older, like minded soul.

 

I did as you asked and googled the man. Likening me to him is assumptive to say the least. I have no intentions of getting a service animal or making a fuss of things not going my way. I do take insult from this comment though. But that was your intention, right? I do not take kindly to people implying that I would become a persona non grata simply because I also have a disability. Nobody on this planet would have any idea about my issues unless I told them, and I'm not the type of person who would go to another country and try to change it. Your inflammatory remark speaks volumes about your ableist viewpoint though. But don't worry, I've encountered people like you my whole life and know how to effectively deal. Bye.

[Dave Hounddriver]

. But that was your intention, right? I do not take kindly to people implying

 

As a writer, (published or not), you should know the difference between implying and inferring.

[Paul Dean]

 

. But that was your intention, right? I do not take kindly to people implying

 

As a writer, (published or not), you should know the difference between implying and inferring.

 

Sure, because everyone loves Mark Cohen, right? I'm not a disability rights advocate who screams and hollers, I am simply a man who wants a change of scenery and some nice people to smile with me. Saying that I'm like this man, who was publicly called a persona non grata by governement officials, can only be "inferred" so many ways. And I don't see any that are good, especially given the context you used. So tell me, do you know the difference between bye and please keep talking? I'm pretty sure I said bye, as in I don't want to be compared to that man or insulted by you: so please stop talking. I do not want to play these childish games. Thank you very much.

Edited September 28, 2014 by MikeB
Removed bad link

[MikeB]

I removed your link because it's not the incident in question and it's just going to cause confusion. 

[Dave Hounddriver]

 so please stop talking. I do not want to play these childish games.

 

And yet . .  you reply, if only to tell me to shut up.   :mocking:

 

Lets try a different approach.  Whether I agree with your choices or not makes no difference.  I still welcome you to the forum.  You will find many points of view that differ from mine.  Your posts are mature and well thought out.  I hope you prove me wrong and go on to have a long and fantastic life in the Philippines.

[Paul Dean]

 

 so please stop talking. I do not want to play these childish games.

 

And yet . .  you reply, if only to tell me to shut up.   :mocking:

 

Lets try a different approach.  Whether I agree with your choices or not makes no difference.  I still welcome you to the forum.  You will find many points of view that differ from mine.  Your posts are mature and well thought out.  I hope you prove me wrong and go on to have a long and fantastic life in the Philippines.

 

Finally, something we agree about. I hope the same. Thank you for the unconventional welcome. I have received a lot of good advice here.

[Paul Dean]

 

. But that was your intention, right? I do not take kindly to people implying

 

As a writer, (published or not), you should know the difference between implying and inferring.

 

I'm sorry if I came off as abrasive, no matter what your intention was, I should be giving the benefit of the doubt to you. I'm sure that you meant it in the kindest way possible. 

[scott h]

Hi Paul, was wondering if your a friend of Bill and Dr Bob?  welcome to the forum