The Older Father

[stevewool]

Right boys i dont mean to offend anyone on here or where ever they maybe either, but the older father maybe there are a few on here who loves the idea and its brought more pleasure the second or even third time around,

I have been even thinking of giving Ems a child that i know deep down she would love but i must think of the future not just mine but also Ems and even the child too,

I am a member of another forum and once this young person started a thread about his older dad, it was one of those moments when you felt sorry for this person, he did not like being the odd one out from his mates, the older father collecting him from school and so, he really did cause a lot of concern among many and he was quickly banned, he did make lost of bad comments about his young mother too, which is why he was banned,

So have you thought about when your children get in there teens and maybe you are in your 70s , like i have said i am not looking for a fight here but trying to understand what i am thinking is right or wrong,

I am still thinking if a child is to come into our life, England will be the place that i may have to stay and also i cannot finnish work sooner then i would like too, all sounds selfish to many maybe but i do have to think about the future

[Kuya John]

Steve,

Dont think there is any one answer to that subject.

I know that in Philippines, it is more acceptable for a older man to take a younger bride.

This of course brings a little more security for the young lady. However I personally find in the Western World it's frowned upon.

Depends where you decide to live or how you feel yourself.

I remember my son bringing a friend home after school one night, I asked him about his family, it turned out that his Dad had already retired.I was about 40 at the time and must admit was shocked to hear that information.

However, now I'm touching 61+ 8, I realise that your only as young as you want to be.If your both in agreement , go for it.

Read that 50% of marriage now fail, gay marriage is accepted, people really should consider the affect it has on children, whatever the situation.

Just my opinion for what it is worth....JB

Edited April 25, 2015 by Kuya John

[Curley]

It would help if we knew your ages.

[Dave Hounddriver]

he did not like being the odd one out from his mates

 

Is that because all of his mates came from divorced families and he didn't?  My kids hated me for that, but they might have hated me if I was too much younger than their mom or too geeky or to much a hippy etc.  Kids always find a reason to 'hate' their dad and then they are shocked when their friends say:"Wow, your dad is cool."

 

EDIT:  I wonder what the youngsters think who grow up to find out that their young, virile 'dad' abandoned them when they were infants and mom married a wonderful older guy who became a substitute dad.  Do they still hate him because he is old?

Edited April 26, 2015 by Dave Hounddriver

[Thomas]

 

he did not like being the odd one out from his mates

 

Is that because all of his mates came from divorced families and he didn't?  My kids hated me for that, but they might have hated me if I was too much younger than their mom or too geeky or to much a hippy etc.  Kids always find a reason to 'hate' their dad and then they are shocked when their friends say:"Wow, your dad is cool."

Many/most kids find themselves odd sometimes during they are teenager, and find their parents embarrassing,

BUT that's normaly an "illness", which heal itself by time  :lol:

 

I believe that kid didn't like his father as GROWN UP, because they had a BAD RELATION, NOT depending of the father was old.

 

BUT it's a problem, if the old father DIE during the kid is in that teenage extra sensitive age, when they have ENOUGH emotional problems anyway.

[chris49]

It would help if we knew your ages.

 

Ditto that, let's have a starting point, point of reference.

 

And does your partner have any children. Most of us have older kids.

 

Gina's 25, me 65, I am willing to discuss that,

 

Good topic, I hope it expands.

[stevewool]

My age on the outside is 56 inside 21, and my wife is 39,

I have 5 kids all grown up but Ems does not have any

[chris49]

My age on the outside is 56 inside 21, and my wife is 39,

I have 5 kids all grown up but Ems does not have any

 

That to me is a very hard personal decision, but I would weigh heavily on what she wants. And if she's healthy for her age. If I love her deeply, I do it. If there's any separation eg you are still in UK, she's here I don't do it. Because she's 39,no previous child, consult a Dr. first.

 

Gina was 22, me 62. We were deeply in love still are. We have 2 kids, 2 yrs 6 months and 9 months, If I love her,and that's what she wants, I give it too her. I have 3 older kids, forgot to mention.

[Old55]

Steve you bring up two very important points. 

 

Most Filipinas want to have children especially if they don't have any from a previous relationship. We know family is so very important to them. Perhaps the most important thing. Having a child with your partner is very special. It sounds to me that Ems would be very happy to be a mother. From what I know reading your many posts I think you would be a wonderful Dad.

 

I am sixty now my wife is fifty one. We have two children not yet teens and they are our life. Everything is about them all the time, my wife and I would not have it any other way.

Being older as a Dad is sometimes a challenge. I'm having some health issues this affects my energy that affects my interaction with my children. For the most part our children don't mind having "us" as parents in fact our home is the place their friends all visit. 

 

One other point. This is only our opinion please don't anyone take it as anything other than that. For us the States is a much better place to raise children than Philippines.

[AlwaysRt]

I think it is a personal decision that as a father already you are totally equipped to decide. There will be those that despise you and call you names and there will be those that praise you either way. The only opinion that matters is what you and your wife decide regarding having and the the ability to raise a child/children.

 

Personally at 50 I don't want to be back in the child raising business, however... that has no bearing whatsoever whether you should or not, I don't currently have a significant other's feelings to consider, if it happened anyway I would love them unconditionally and be totally involved with raising them.

 

So, it that's what you guys want to do and there is no medical or financial reasons not to, go for it.