Horror Stories... What's The Chance?

[Jack Peterson]

I wanted to know what were the chances of something like this happening,

 

 

 Life in Total is a gamble, with or without a lady even here in the Good old Philippines. most of us have no doubt had our thoughts similar to yours but many and Most of us here have all come through it.

As with many things we can only tell you our own little stories which in the main seem to have a happy Ending but then, most of us are a lot older and the Rough edges have been rounded off.

 

Advice: just this my Friend, "Don't beat yourself up" Que Sara Sara comes to mind. 

 

Jack :thumbsup:

[Dave Hounddriver]

except for Dave experience which I'm sorry to hear about.

 

Thanks for you comment.  My overall experience was negative but oh what a ride!  I loved the 6 years as evidenced by my willingness to try again. You'll love it too, regardless of the outcome many years down the road.

[Steve & Myrlita]

Hi there,

 

 

I'm a 31 years old guy from France. Fit and not so bad looking, or thats what I think!! ;-) I been living in Philippines for over 3 years now. In my first months here I dated a serie of girls, trying to find the right one. There were a lot of them who were pretty but with lots of red flags so I easily discarded em. With other girl I stayed around 4 months but she was extremelly moody and with lots of tampo and jealously issues, so I ended dropping her also. Finally, I found my current girlfriend. She's 2 years younger than me. We have been together for almost two and half years. She's beautiful, intelligent and a very sweet lady. She studied in one of the best universities here in Cebu and has been working in the same bank for many years. Her parents both got nice jobs and they don't ask any money from her or me (her dad works abroad probably earning more than me). The family have been nice and lovable people when I have been around their home. My girl never been married before but had a filipino boyfriend who seems to used to cheat on her on a daily basis, until she got tired of it and decided to break up, years ago...

 

During those 2+ years I've been living together with her, I never found a single suspicious sign. No suspicious activity on her facebook or phone, not going out with friends or arriving home late after work, she don't drink, she don't like to party, nothing. She never asks for anything and she likes to cook at home for me rather to going out to dinner. She contributes to our living expenses with her salary. Really different to any other girls I dated before.

 

Well, I have no reason to don't trust her and I really love her. Unfortunately, I've heard from some expats many horror stories. Stories where the guys thought everything was perfect (like I do now) until they got married, the girl got her visa/passport and the nightmare started. I heard so many cases like these that I've become a bit paranoid. Some of these expats went as far as to tell me my case isn't any different to other horror stories they have heard before.

 

I just want to ask you guys, does this happen that often? Guys who were so sure that their girl was perfect, even with a good background, a good education and a nice family enviorment yet they got scammed? Is it really that bad or did those expat been extremely negative telling me those stories? What do you think?

 

Thanks so much in advance.

Wow....Sounds like a keeper. Well done sir.

 

[Larry45]

Welcome, acrylic!  Yeah, it sounds like you have made some good choices and solid decisions to get to this point.  I can relate to some of your situation, as my wife and her family are also quite educated, ambitious and self-sufficient.  I think some of us expats here search for that type of family because we are looking for a "true love", one that doesn't involve financial need.  But the reality of it is that we are worth a whole lot more to them than just our current income.  Even a poor 46 year old like me is viewed as having a ton of potential...almost as a med student might be deemed more attractive because of his potentially expected earnings.  Yes, there is always a financial component involved, and that plays a huge factor in their decision to marry us.  

 

Does your gf want to work in the bank for the next 20 years?  Does her father want to continue being an OFW for the next 10?  Do they view you as their ticket to retirement...or to France?  Or both?  These are the hard questions that need asking, in a subtle way.  You are doing great now, and yes, things will change after marriage, but it's up to you to call the shots and lay down the rules and set the expectations.  I think most expats "get scammed" because their expectations were too high...they wanted a real love, but she just wanted an arrangement.  But hell, you're 31 and French!  If anyone here has a chance at the real thing, it just may be you.  :)   

[Mike S]

No suspicious activity on her facebook or phone

 

Hummmmm if you are looking at her Facebook page and cell phone it looks kinda like you don't trust her ..... does she check out your cell phone and Facebook page ..... besides I'm sure most if not all her cell phone texting is done in Tagalog so not sure if you can read them or not ..... 

 

We have been married for 8 years now and I do not go to her Facebook account (unless she shows me something) ..... use her cell phone or open and check her purse ..... sorry if I don't or can't trust her I would just move on .... jealousy or doubt will eat you alive to the point of despair ..... it only makes your life and hers miserable ..... if she finds some one else either I wasn't doing something right or I'm not the right one for her ..... say la vie ..... time to move on ....

 

The first thing you need to do is quit hanging with those oh so wise and negative foreigners who 99% of the time spout sea stories and are the for most part incompetent sea lawyers ..... (Jake can explain to you what sea stories and sea lawyers are all about  :mocking: ) ..... they only repeat stories they have either dreamed up or heard from the 3rd sh*ter on the left ..... in other words they are full of sh*t ..... and yes there are some cases like Dave's where it has actually happened ..... yes it does happen .... when you pay for your ticket you take your chances ..... and sometime down the road it could happen to you or me ..... but in the meantime I prefer to stay on this marry-go-round until it stops or breaks down ..... life has been better for me for the past 9 years than for the past 4 decades ..... and I will continue to do everything I can to make it continue to work ...... sorry for the long rant ....... JMHO ......  :thumbsup: 

:cheersty:

[Crocodile]

What do you think?

 

Well, the first thing that comes to mind:  Does she have sister or a friend who is the same?

 

I think where ever in the world you are, only you can know your partner.  So, take on board what you have read and heard, but trust your instincts.  Even the best laid plans can go bad, but remember to enjoy life.

Edited December 30, 2015 by Crocodile

[expatuk2014]

I have just got to stick my 5 peso worth in !

my friend its the same in every country you meet a girl you fall in love with her, you live with her for over 2 yrs !

and now you are thinking of popping the Question you are having second thoughts ?

your girl sounds like my wife everything we earn goes into the same pot !

my wife does not drink or go clubbing etc , neither do I ( clubbing that is ) :lol:

you have lived with your girl , you know all her little ways and her likes and dislikes.

my advice to you my friend is propose to her !

before some other guys finds her !

your girl sounds loyal and she loves you ! dont let the comments on this forum persuade you.

let your heart show you what to do !

[Guy F.]

Filipinas are jealous. That's the way it is and nothing will change it. The upside is that they can be extremely loyal. I hate being negative, but as you have described it your situation may be too good to be true.

[jpbago]

Finally, I found my current girlfriend. She's 2 years younger than me. We have been together for almost two and half years. She's beautiful, intelligent and a very sweet lady. She studied in one of the best universities here in Cebu and has been working in the same bank for many years. Her parents both got nice jobs and they don't ask any money from her or me (her dad works abroad probably earning more than me). The family have been nice and lovable people when I have been around their home. My girl never been married before but had a filipino boyfriend who seems to used to cheat on her on a daily basis, until she got tired of it and decided to break up, years ago...

 

   "A bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush."

[Lost]

There are plenty of normal girls in the PI who aren’t gold diggers. And IMO, being 31 your chances are much better of finding one. Many of the horror stories you hear come from guys dating women much younger than themselves. As younger guys, our experence in the Philippines is often very different, on many fronts, than the retired guys.