Getting older and a little bit smarter.

[Onemore52]

Some of my partners family came over last night for a visit, so cordially I went out and offered soft drinks (no beer, no way) and joined in the conversation UNTIL they all started speaking amongst each other, no problem I just went inside opened a beer and started cooking dinner.

I don't know whether they mean to be rude, but either way they didn't get offered anything I was cooking.

[Onemore52]

Further to my last post, my partner does not understand why I don't invite people to our house, as in previous posts where I have mentioned that they think I am rich, which by their standards I might be moderately but when I go out anywhere I wear the oldest, shabbiest clothes that I have with footwear to match, no watch, nothing hanging around the neck but I might put some deodorant on as there is a limit.

I do encourage my partner to go out with her friends at every opportunity that arises, but be damned if I am going to cook or provide anything for anyone that comes to my house and shows no respect, such as last night, which unfortunately I will have to bring up as she wants to have more people here in the house.

Do other members of the forum experience this, or is it a province thing?

[sonjack2847]

Sometimes they are just too embarrassed to speak English as they feel they cannot speak it very well. Other times they are just being rude as if you don`t count. A worker in the corner shop refused to speak to me as her English was so poor which surprises me as she had just left school. My Father in law shocked me as his English is very good and he lives way up in the hills.

[sonjack2847]

1 minute ago, Onemore52 said:

Further to my last post, my partner does not understand why I don't invite people to our house, as in previous posts where I have mentioned that they think I am rich, which by their standards I might be moderately but when I go out anywhere I wear the oldest, shabbiest clothes that I have with footwear to match, no watch, nothing hanging around the neck but I might put some deodorant on as there is a limit.

I do encourage my partner to go out with her friends at every opportunity that arises, but be damned if I am going to cook or provide anything for anyone that comes to my house and shows no respect, such as last night, which unfortunately I will have to bring up as she wants to have more people here in the house.

Do other members of the forum experience this, or is it a province thing?

My friend whos in-laws are from Dalaguete has 9 relatives in his house, they have told him that there is no or very little water from the mains there. I just contacted my other friend and he tells me no problem with the water so I think they are freeloading. It is always difficult dealing with relatives and there is no real formula which will work for everyone. I set down the rules with my in-laws many years ago and have had no problems at all. They did tell me that well this is the Philippines I said yes but this is my house and if you want to come here you do it my way, it worked.

[Lou49]

20 minutes ago, Onemore52 said:

Further to my last post, my partner does not understand why I don't invite people to our house, as in previous posts where I have mentioned that they think I am rich, which by their standards I might be moderately but when I go out anywhere I wear the oldest, shabbiest clothes that I have with footwear to match, no watch, nothing hanging around the neck but I might put some deodorant on as there is a limit.

I do encourage my partner to go out with her friends at every opportunity that arises, but be damned if I am going to cook or provide anything for anyone that comes to my house and shows no respect, such as last night, which unfortunately I will have to bring up as she wants to have more people here in the house.

Do other members of the forum experience this, or is it a province thing?

It is not a province thing, it is wide spread. Reasons vary..... I grew up in a bilingual family, when we had visitors we were forbidden to speak in a language that was not understood by all. To do otherwise was considered very rude and unhospitable.

Edited May 29, 2019 by Lou49

[GeoffH]

35 minutes ago, Lou49 said:

It is not a province thing, it is wide spread. Reasons vary..... I grew up in a bilingual family, when we had visitors we were forbidden to speak in a language that was not understood by all. To do otherwise was considered very rude and unhospitable.

My experience is... it varies.  Sometimes people come in a group then the language changes from English to Bisaya, but often someone will say "English!  Geoffrey..."

But I don't worry about it much, if I'm in a group they mostly speak English, when someone has trouble with a word they ask someone else., if they look embarrassed then I just say "Don't worry... your English is much better than my Bisaya!" which normally gets a grin or a laugh.

At larger family bondings there will generally be groups speaking Bisaya and groups speaking English... I just go and sit with an English speaking group *shrug*.

 

 

Edited May 29, 2019 by GeoffH

[hk blues]

I usually plonk myself in a corner with a beer and let them get on with their chatting - suits them and me perfectly.  Don't get me wrong, we have a good enough relationship given we cannot really communicate much beyond the basics.  

[stevewool]

I usual sit there and listen and then someone may explain what is being said , 

[Jack Peterson]

5 minutes ago, stevewool said:

then someone may explain what is being said , 

 Normal Day then Steve EH?   ( Sorry mate but they left me on my own again) 

[Kuya John]

I have heard that some of the Filipino's are shy to speak English and found that to be true, however with a little encouragement they relax and try to communicate on a one to one basis, but put them in a group and they tend to forget you are there.

Last trip over, my wife was talking to a friend who called to see her and spoke in their local dialect, while I watched their expression.

Who or what they were talking about, her friend suddenly stopped looked at me and asked in English can you understand what we are saying, realising she was worried I had overheard the conversation, I replied in their language "Casa Bot" ( might not be spelt right but it apparently means ( " Oh Yes I understand" ) her face was a picture Hahaha.

Then my wife explained to her I didn't understand a word, to which she burst out laughing and gave me a high five.

Edited May 29, 2019 by Kuya John
Word blindness!