Changing sides. When a man loves a man!

[Jollygoodfellow]

So 2 weeks ago I got a bit of a surprise. I have a friend that I have known the whole 6 years of living here. We have not met up in person for a long time but chat often on FB. He has been married to a Filipina at least 8 years, maybe more.

Anyway two weeks ago I sent him a message just saying something like, are you having a beer but no reply, not even read. The next day I noticed he had a new FB profile picture but let's go back to about April. When we were chatting it came out that him and his wife split up in December, I said you didn't tell me. He said he told no one so OK fair enough. I said I bet the cause was your drinking or money issues but no reply. Later he said he had a new GF now and I asked when will l meet her but no reply again.

So now I know why as when I viewed the new profile pic of him and his girl I thought she looked odd. About the same time my GF woke up and looked at what I was viewing and straight away said ladyboy.

Bit of research found pics of them together and the girl had videos of them on Tick Tock and Youtube as well as her FB and definitely a ladyboy.

I have no issue if that makes him happy so be it.

Another week goes by and he still had not read my message which was strange and then suddenly his FB account is deactivated as well as messenger so I can not contact him. Not sure why he would post the two of them then go into hiding.

Not long after he posted the picture I sent a message to his wife just to ask how she was getting along since they broke up. Her reply was who told you that and is this about the picture. I said not about the picture and her husband told me they broke up but he did not tell me until about April. The wife said no they haven't and she is just in the province for business?  She says she loves her husband.  Why she denied them breaking up I dont know and I do know she left for the province in December. Anyway I just said Im glad she is OK and we will always be friends and she said the same.

My point of this posts is just that I thought if we are friends then nothing really to hide from each other. If he feels that I or others might judge him then I guess we were not friends and also if you are in a relationship with a ladyboy then you shouldn't be worried about what others thing as thats your way of life now.

I guess to me I am disappointed that contact has been cut. I dont have an active number for him and dont want to asks his wife.

Just another day in paradise  

 

 

 

 

[KC813]

Life sure takes strange turns.

It is hard for most of us to put ourselves in his position, but I’d think he is experiencing a river of different emotions with such a lifestyle change, not knowing who from his past life he can trust to still be his friend.  Quite possibly he has already been on the receiving end of negative reactions and does not know what to expect from any one. 

From your post, it sounds like you and I are both in the “if it does not affect me, do what ever you want” crowd, but still happy to go fishing or have a beer and gab about all the many things we still have in common.  But he may not have known that about you, any more than you would have expected him to run off with a guy!

Hopefully he will feel more secure in the future and try to reconnect with you. 

[Jollygoodfellow]

1 hour ago, KC813 said:

Life sure takes strange turns.

It is hard for most of us to put ourselves in his position, but I’d think he is experiencing a river of different emotions with such a lifestyle change, not knowing who from his past life he can trust to still be his friend.  Quite possibly he has already been on the receiving end of negative reactions and does not know what to expect from any one. 

From your post, it sounds like you and I are both in the “if it does not affect me, do what ever you want” crowd, but still happy to go fishing or have a beer and gab about all the many things we still have in common.  But he may not have known that about you, any more than you would have expected him to run off with a guy!

Hopefully he will feel more secure in the future and try to reconnect with you. 

I think you are correct. Who knows what's going on his end. Possibility that it was not him that changed his profile pic, maybe the girl used his phone or something. Before his FB was deactivated I seen that the comments were deleted or changed as to who can see them as there were comments but nothing bad that I had seen but then they disappeared.

Also I can see from the posted tick tock videos he knew he was recorded but maybe he does not know they are online. Anyway I will just leave it at that and maybe when he is ready he will re activate his account. 

[Old55]

 No one knows what your friend is going through. If true it could be difficult for him to acknowledge this change to friends?

[Snowy79]

It's a shame that in the 21st century people feel they need to hide things. Maybe living here its just normal as there are so many same sex partners, 99% of the time if someone I know came out of the closet as such we all used to laugh and tell them it was obvious from day one and no one cared, he/she is stil the same person.  

I even contacted an old military mate about 3yrs ago. He was my Sgt when I was a youngster and a mega fit guy, Paratrooper and Commando trained, he's living in Australia now and I tracked him down via Facebook. We chatted for a few days and I told him he'll need to visit one day and he asked if it was OK but his partner is now a guy. He was married with two kids when I knew him. He certainly hid it well but great that he was conident to admit it as the Commando brotherhood is very close knit.  

[Jollygoodfellow]

13 hours ago, Old55 said:

If true it could be difficult for him to acknowledge this change to friends?

Definitely true as I have seen videos of them together and her Facebook page. Him giving her flowers and a massage etc. 

[Dave Hounddriver]

4 hours ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

Him giving her flowers and a massage etc. 

These pronouns always confuse me.  Is "her" the ladyboy?  I am convinced that, 1,000 years from now, if "her" body is dug up by anthropologists they will label it a male.  Trust the science 

Note that I have nothing against ladyboys or men who date them.  I just have trouble believing any male can change their looks and be female now.  Its just degrees of gayness to me.

[OnMyWay]

12 hours ago, Snowy79 said:

It's a shame that in the 21st century people feel they need to hide things. Maybe living here its just normal as there are so many same sex partners, 99% of the time if someone I know came out of the closet as such we all used to laugh and tell them it was obvious from day one and no one cared, he/she is stil the same person.  

I even contacted an old military mate about 3yrs ago. He was my Sgt when I was a youngster and a mega fit guy, Paratrooper and Commando trained, he's living in Australia now and I tracked him down via Facebook. We chatted for a few days and I told him he'll need to visit one day and he asked if it was OK but his partner is now a guy. He was married with two kids when I knew him. He certainly hid it well but great that he was conident to admit it as the Commando brotherhood is very close knit.  

Actually in the case of JGF's friend and your friend, it is very understandable that they hide it.  It is one thing to "come out" or be homosexual when you are younger and have not been married or had kids.  It is quite different when they had a heterosexual relationship, family, kids, etc., for years, and then decided to change sides.

Years ago, before I found this forum, I briefly joined a forum that was more sexpat oriented, and guys would write about their exploits.  I was very surprised to find that quiet a few of these heterosexual mongers didn't mind having a beautiful ladyboy once in a while.  That was mostly Thailand, I think. 

[RBM]

8 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

Actually in the case of JGF's friend and your friend, it is very understandable that they hide it.  It is one thing to "come out" or be homosexual when you are younger and have not been married or had kids.  It is quite different when they had a heterosexual relationship, family, kids, etc., for years, and then decided to change sides.

Years ago, before I found this forum, I briefly joined a forum that was more sexpat oriented, and guys would write about their exploits.  I was very surprised to find that quiet a few of these heterosexual mongers didn't mind having a beautiful ladyboy once in a while.  That was mostly Thailand, I think. 

Correct, at time i watch the you tube channel  Thailand Bound, its good for a laugh. Quite a few of the early videos show this, many enjoy a night now and then with lady boys.

[hk blues]

23 hours ago, Snowy79 said:

It's a shame that in the 21st century people feel they need to hide things. 

Older folk don't change their views on "stuff" just because younger folk follow a different path. The only thing which changes is the extent to which they air their views. 

No different to racism.