Table manners

[Kingpin]

14 hours ago, Viking said:

Is it normal for people here to eat from every pot and bowl they find on the table, with the same spoon or fork? People here used a spoon/fork and ate directly from the serving plate/pots.

If they used a spoon or fork consider yourself lucky.  The good news is that locals bag their fingers up when they eat food in public, the bad news is they don't when they prepare and serve food, restaurants, supermarkets, specifically the produce or meat fish poultry section.

14 hours ago, Viking said:

like a feeding frenzy.

That's a different issue, less a part of the culture and more about upbringing.  I've seen some Filipinos eat immediately after being served, even if served first, and I've seen others wait, patiently not even impatiently, until everyone else is ready.

[Viking]

14 hours ago, Gas said:

Depends on the closeness of the relatives. If it’s mum, dad and the kids it’s possible they use the same spoon and fork. 
Usually if it’s with relatives there is a serving spoon. 
The only time I’d say the same spoon and fork used is during drinking sessions. One of the reasons I don’t eat.! 

This was relatives only, cousins, neices and nephews. I am not saying that it's wrong but I actually loosed my appetite when seeing someone putting their used spoon right in the middle of the cake 🎂. Several of these people were also suffering from a cold, coughing and sneezing!

14 hours ago, BrettGC said:

My experience is similar to Gas's, close family it's a free-for-all with fingers and spoons from their own plates used in all the servings. Larger gatherings, not so much. 

I then think I will enjoy larger gatherings more, hahaha 😉

[Viking]

14 hours ago, Avalon said:

I've not experienced that - we had the extended family over Christmas Day - rolling in as groups from different locations.  Food was in bowls on the table each with a serving spoon and everyone used those to put food on their plate and then use either cutlery or fingers from their plates.  My big hangup is people talking with food in their mouth and everyone seems to do that here.  I read its actually a psychological disorder but I forgot the name - for me it's like fingernails running down a blackboard - once they start talking amongst themselves with food in their mouth I have to quietly leave and attend to something (anything).  

Talking with foods in their mouths is almost mandatory here. I don't like it but I can live with it.

7 hours ago, Gator said:

I know what you mean, it’s disgusting. Same with ppl who chew with their mouths open. When my grandmother seen ppl like that she would say it’s like cows chewing their cuds. 🤣

Same with that one, nothing I like, but I find it less disturbing than people using their own used cutlery in the serving plates.

[Viking]

5 hours ago, Mike J said:

I have not seen folks eating directly from the serving bowls.  When we are with a group they use the serving utensils, put food on their plate, and then eat either with fingers or spoons.  I have seen a few people use their fingers to take food out of the serving bowls/dishes and put it on their plate, but that is pretty rare.  Agree with the comments about chewing with mouth open and/or talking with food in their mouth.  Damn, that's gross.   If you are looking for a Filipina wife/girlfriend, you best be taking them out to dinner first. 

That's how I expect people to behave. If they then choose to eat with their fingers from their own plate, that is fine with me.

[Viking]

3 hours ago, Onemore52 said:

That is when I go out with my dogs, they have better table manners.

Sad to say, but from what I experienced, I tend to agree with you.

[Viking]

2 hours ago, Freebie said:

Even worse in almost all  restaurants in China.. eat with mouth open AND SMOKE.. double disgust !

I once spent a day island hopping with a group of Chinese tourists and I can only say that was way worse than what I experienced during this Xmas and New Year. They were really eating like pigs and burped loud and farted during the time they ate! And you could not imagine how it looked after they were finished! (You probably could since you have been living there 😜)

[hk blues]

39 minutes ago, Viking said:

I once spent a day island hopping with a group of Chinese tourists and I can only say that was way worse than what I experienced during this Xmas and New Year. They were really eating like pigs and burped loud and farted during the time they ate! And you could not imagine how it looked after they were finished! (You probably could since you have been living there 😜)

I taught English in Hong Kong for almost 10 years so had plenty of experience of both local and mainland Chinese. To be honest the only real issue I had was with their eating habits - they would eat whilst talking and food would spray everywhere.  They even have special cups with lids for this specific reason although they may deny this! And yep, belching was considered perfectly acceptable (as in some other cultures) but farting less so.

As for here, the family don't eat with the same utensils as they serve with - the use individual cutlery and plates.  They are not well-off, your typical local rural family, but have good manners.  The brothers do do that thing where they eat with their hands though, but IIRC they use the serving spoon to pick from the main bowl first.  They don't all eat at the same time even for the NY Eve meal - maybe they have seen my bad eating habits!  

[Viking]

42 minutes ago, hk blues said:

I taught English in Hong Kong for almost 10 years so had plenty of experience of both local and mainland Chinese. To be honest the only real issue I had was with their eating habits - they would eat whilst talking and food would spray everywhere.  They even have special cups with lids for this specific reason although they may deny this! And yep, belching was considered perfectly acceptable (as in some other cultures) but farting less so.

As for here, the family don't eat with the same utensils as they serve with - the use individual cutlery and plates.  They are not well-off, your typical local rural family, but have good manners.  The brothers do do that thing where they eat with their hands though, but IIRC they use the serving spoon to pick from the main bowl first.  They don't all eat at the same time even for the NY Eve meal - maybe they have seen my bad eating habits!  

During that island hopping trip, there was also a guy named Tim, he worked as an English teacher in China and he actually told them, in Chinese, that they were not at home now and that they should pick up all the trash they left behind. I must give them some credit, because after he spoke up, it got better.

There seems to be more than me who have had the same experience when it is coming to table manners, even if it doesn't look like it is the norm.

I was probably just unlucky to end up in a family with less than ideal manners. But I am still happy, because it could be worse! 😂

[stevewool]

When I was there and a meal was prepared for the family I did notice that some folk used table manors there was even the pinky finger sticking out proudly too, but there was some members who just went in on everything using hands and maybe a spoon too, it was not until I had to say something before the parents told there children ( young adults ) to behave, in the end I just made sure that I ate what I had prepared for myself or Emma would say that’s uncle Steve’s, it was obvious really as there was no fat, bones and nothing covered in bowls of oil 

[Major Tom]

On 1/3/2023 at 5:56 AM, Viking said:

After spending the holidays with family and relatives, I have a question for you.

Is it normal for people here to eat from every pot and bowl they find on the table, with the same spoon or fork? People here used a spoon/fork and ate directly from the serving plate/pots. Nobody, but me and my wife, put the food on their plates before starting to eat. It was almost like a feeding frenzy.

That was the case here and I actually found it a bit disgusting, so did my wife. I guess she has been living abroad for too long, hahaha.

Soo, what do you say? Is this normal behavior here or not?

Table manners? 

From a Westerner's point of view, saying these two words together sounds almost like an oxymoron in the Philippines. However, every culture has their own unique idea of what good "table manners" should be. When in the Philippines, just accept whatever the locals do at the dining room table, since whatever they're doing is usually the local acceptable way of eating.