My Thoughts After 4 Years With My Man

[Elsa]

From Wallaby's postOh WOW.....this is really a great thread!And congrats to such a lovely couple!Mind you telling where should I look??Thank you

Hi Wallaby:I think it is like most things..., when you are looking for it, you never find what you are looking for!When you get on with your life and your plans, .... it finds you!

I am wholeheartedly Agree!Elsacebuexpatservices.com

[Papa Carl]

From Wallaby's postOh WOW.....this is really a great thread!And congrats to such a lovely couple!Mind you telling where should I look??Thank you

Hi Wallaby:I think it is like most things..., when you are looking for it, you never find what you are looking for!When you get on with your life and your plans, .... it finds you!

I am wholeheartedly Agree!Elsacebuexpatservices.com

Thanks Elsa, after visting your web site I can say, well done Paul and Elsa, keep it up.Carl

[piglett]

Thanks Old55, but I am determined not to leave here, and I will do everything possible to ensure we don't have to. I will work at anything, and I mean anything to make sure we stay together and in the Philippines if possible.Besides I am not sure returning to either Canada or the UK would help with me finding work, as with the economy the way it is in both countries it would not be easy for a 55 year old man to find work, and if I did it is going to cost us considerably more to live.No we will stay, and do what needs to be done to survive.Ellie is always saying "it is OK, we have each other and we have Chiya, that is all that matters" This is a perfect example of the simplicity of how Filipina's think of things, as of course love will not buy food, or find a place to live, but you know... She is right, while we have and love each other even the huge problems seem smaller.Thanks for your support and encouragement, it is greatly appreciated.Carl

well Papa i'm showing up late to the party here but ......... what did your wife's family do before you shower up & started giving them all a free place to stay with free food & lots of things to break ???good luckpiglett

[Art2ro]

Carl, I admire your determination, rationality and will to stay together in the Philippines considering the global recession and all, truly deserve praise and encouragement. As you said, "This is a perfect example of the simplicity of how Filipinas think of things, as of course love will not buy food, or find a place to live, but you know... She is right, while we have and love each other even the huge problems seem smaller". I do wish you and your family well and hope your future to eventually be a prosperous one! My signature quotes at the bottom are just a few sayings which I feel is true for everyone. "Different Strokes for Different Folks!" "It's Always a Matter of Money!""Use Common Sense Over All!""Life is What You Make It To Be!""What's important in life is, earning a good living, the love of family, close life long friends, a roof over our heads, food on our table and our good health!""Que Sera, Sera!" (What will be, will be)

[blackrabbitz]

East meets West

     After almost 3 years long of friendship online we finally met in person when he visited Cebu, Philippines  and then it makes our friendship more stronger. I like him far more than talking online. I love spending time with him, and most of all talking with him because he is the most interesting person.  He got  the  total package  of characteristics and a quality which attracts like a magnet ( despite of whatever gender) to me. I fall in love to him ( without knowing that he felt the same ), and wishing that his feeling was the same thing or else I only end up dreaming. Everyday all I want is to see him and to be with him despite of all such important task to do in my own life.  And  it doesn’t  take so long, He confess his feelings to me and wants me to be his wife!-  I was speechless for a few minutes , - I feel so, so much joy in my heart, thinking that the man itself who is perfectly in my criteria wanting me!  I found the world so kind to me, Everything I see are smiling, Every objects are colourful and happy and Every tiny things and creatures has its own wonderful meaning and value. It changes my life- It brings me smile with deepest joy in my heart before the morning starts and after the end of my day.  Few weeks after Engagement Party which took place at The Waterfront Hotel with all the people I ,love- my family and friends, he went back to Australia to give up everything he has just to be with me and I believe that this was one of the hardest steps for him to do. I don’t want him to go away from me anymore but, we both know that he has to- to sort things out there, I missed him already even his not leaving yet! I want to hold time so it won’t move! But fact is still the fact- the time has come that he needs to leave to go back to Australia. What I can I do?  My only option is to let him and giving the sincere hug and kiss that means- until I see you again, with full of knowledge that he LOVES me and that He will keep me in his heart as how I keep him in mine,  with all the HOPE that he will come back for me, with TRUST that God will bless all his ways and keeping him safe whatever he does and wherever he goes.  For that two months apart I know it was not long but my heart is contrary to that fact.- It was horrible feelings being apart  when all you can do is to Hope and Pray!  After that such long length of period we’re apart, we got back together again and since then we promised to each other that it will never happen again because it was the worst feeling that we both had.  After 1 year and few months of being engaged and living together we finally got officially married at The White Sand Beach Resort, Mactan Island and It was the most special and magical day that ever happen in my whole life! And one thing I am certain that it was Magic and Special because I am marrying the person whom I Love, whom I can be my very own self, whom I can be natural, whom I can be the craziest creature in the world, whom I  find so easy being with, find so comfortable sharing every thing with( all the most stupid things and secret that I did and all the thoughts  that I hadn’t had yet) including all the things that I am ashamed of. And most above all  that He loves me back.  Living with a person from the west who has their very own cultures, practices and beliefs is another Big Big PLUS!- it’s another greatest gift!  I remembered in our early stage of relationship that my husband told me that we might  argue for 3 reasons:  First,  is “ I am a man and You are a woman”- Paul bought me a bunch of flowers for 500 pesos with his knowledge that in this way he would please me, but I would think that 500 pesos is too much for 1 bunch of flowers, I would rather have a 50 peso bunch of flowers each week for the next (10) ten weeks.  Second, Is- “ I speak English as my first language while, You speak English as your second language”- Many words in English have two or more meanings and Paul may intend to say something nice to me but because I’m not a native English Speaker I hear it as something different.  Example: Paul said to me one day, “ You look wicked!” which is slang for “ You look beautiful” and of course I heard it as “ You are evil”.  Third, is- “ Culture Differences”- I love cutting his nails especially his toe nails which nobody in the west has ever done for him before. But I did not realize that he was embarrassed when I first did it for him.  And to solve all these major potential conflicts? -  COMMUNICATION!- because we both believe that communication is the most essential in a relationship.  For me, life with him is more interesting and fascinating because of these 3 major differences I mention above, Because this is where I grow more by learning the fun of differences between us- as a people who came from different planets! The moment we share the beauty of our differences it creates spectacular beauty  which produces more beauty.    I adore my husband as he is not just loving and supportive to whatever are my decisions.-  He is an amazing teacher who has a gift of making even what seems to be the most complicated or difficult matter in the world seem simple and easy to understand for me. Everyday I discover so many more different  beauties in him which I failed to discover during our early stage where I thought that he is as that brilliant man but, nope! Because there’s so much more beauty in him. I know that there is no such perfect in this world but I am humbly to claim that he is the closest one and that whoever is the next is too far away beyond.  Having Paul as my husband  is beyond my dream as I dreamed to have a good ( even not perfect) partner who will love me and adore me as me for the rest of his life and this I am happy  Yet, it turns more than just that- truly unbelievable!!!!!!!!!  I treasure him because I know that He is  my ONLY TREASURE in life.    I hate myself when I can’t do anything to take his pain away when he is sick- like having flu occasionally and during his gout attack every once or twice a year.  I hate seeing him in pain and it breaks my heart even more upon seeing him upset and unhappy caused by other people. Because I see him as my very own little boy who is very fragile that needs my care emotionally and physically all the time- this is one of the reason of not liking being away from him as I myself feel incomplete and not being myself as a whole when he is not with me. I know that my words of vocabulary are not enough to for me to put up together in order to express of how much I love my husband. I also believe that nobody can understand of how much I love my husband not even my own husband but only myself and God.  Lots of people- acquaintances and good friends have commented that we are obviously in love with each other but,  actually they only see the radiation of our Love and Happiness to each other because in reality it was just the tiny spark from our Love- They didn’t see our love as a whole which can be found behind doors. To me, to give all my pure love and to be loved is the only things I want in life!  Because it gives me fulfilment and satisfaction, And I got this- I am the Luckiest woman in the universe.  We’ve known each other now nearly 6 years and  continuing to enjoy and treasure or Love while striving our goal in life as a best friend and as a married couple wherever the journey lead us.        Happily married woman,  Elsa

great story Elsa,  I feel happy just reading it! thanks! all the best for both of you!

[bows00]

I found the quote below very interesting... "First, is “ I am a man and You are a woman”- Paul bought me a bunch of flowers for 500 pesos with his knowledge that in this way he would please me, but I would think that 500 pesos is too much for 1 bunch of flowers, I would rather have a 50 peso bunch of flowers each week for the next (10) ten weeks." This tells me right off the bat that Elsa is a very practical girl... and isn't that rare for a Filipina? So for us guys looking for a Filipina wife, would a girl like Elsa be considered to be a needle in a hay stack? However the outcome, this thread gives me hope that there are more Filipinas like Elsa out there...

[Garpo]

There can be many different types of needles in a haystack. I think I am safe to say that most of us that have found our wives or girlfriends in the Philippines can say that we have found our own needle in a haystack. While many of the things that Elsa has written about remind me of my wife Lhaine, There is just something that seems to be breed into these very special girls that can not be described. So to answer your question, yes, I think you can find your needle in the haystack also. If I could do it then anybody can do it.

[ancienrocka]

I found the quote below very interesting... "First, is “ I am a man and You are a woman”- Paul bought me a bunch of flowers for 500 pesos with his knowledge that in this way he would please me, but I would think that 500 pesos is too much for 1 bunch of flowers, I would rather have a 50 peso bunch of flowers each week for the next (10) ten weeks." This tells me right off the bat that Elsa is a very practical girl... and isn't that rare for a Filipina? So for us guys looking for a Filipina wife, would a girl like Elsa be considered to be a needle in a hay stack? However the outcome, this thread gives me hope that there are more Filipinas like Elsa out there...

Elsa is like a needle in all the haystacks in the world!

[Papa Carl]

Thanks Old55, but I am determined not to leave here, and I will do everything possible to ensure we don't have to. I will work at anything, and I mean anything to make sure we stay together and in the Philippines if possible.Besides I am not sure returning to either Canada or the UK would help with me finding work, as with the economy the way it is in both countries it would not be easy for a 55 year old man to find work, and if I did it is going to cost us considerably more to live. No we will stay, and do what needs to be done to survive. Ellie is always saying "it is OK, we have each other and we have Chiya, that is all that matters" This is a perfect example of the simplicity of how Filipina's think of things, as of course love will not buy food, or find a place to live, but you know... She is right, while we have and love each other even the huge problems seem smaller. Thanks for your support and encouragement, it is greatly appreciated. Carl

well Papa i'm showing up late to the party here but ......... what did your wife's family do before you shower up & started giving them all a free place to stay with free food & lots of things to break ??? good luckpiglett

Hi Piglett, I know this response if very late and I am sure no one is following this anymore, but as you know I have been .... lets say away for a while and I am just now catching up on my posts and responses from before I lost my internet. Ellie's family did what most Philippine families do, I believe. Lived day to day, when there was food, they gulped it down, because they were never sure there would be food the next day. The pawned just about everything and anything when they had no food. They "borrowed" their electricity from neighbours, and sold things from their front door, or on the streets. A few family members went to school when they could afford it, and didn't attend when there was no money to do so. Her Mum would cut hair, clean nails and do whatever she could to feed and cloth them, and Ellie worked where ever she could and gave most of her earnings to support her family, as do most Filipina. The still break things, and still request for help when needed, and most still think I have money, even when they are staying with us, and we pawn our wedding rings to survive! But I do see improvement, less is getting broken, and a greater care of my wishes and habits. When things were very bad just lately a few even brought around food, and trekked for miles carrying my books to sell, so we could pay the bills and things. Generally, since July we have all supported each other, and I believe I have a better understanding of what life was like for them before Ellie came into my life. I hope and pray our little girl, gets the best of both worlds in regards to her personality and believes, so that she can disgard the bad from both. I hope that answers your question, and thanks for the comments. Papa Carl

[Art2ro]

Papa Carl, I'm not the long winded type to go on and on with complicated scenarios and or comments, but of just simple short sentences to get my point across! One has to do what one has to do in their present day situation the best way that they know how and that's what you're doing! As long you have your health and opportunities that may come your way to increase your net worth, go for it as long it doesn't compromise your relationship that you so cherish and hopefully may improve your lifestyle in the near future!

Edited November 28, 2011 by Art2ro