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peterfe

living with a separated filipina woman - possible problems with ex

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peterfe    8

Hi

I’m new to this forum and quite new to the Philippines, and I’d very much appreciate some advice. I’m a UK citizen, planning to continue to live here in the Philippines with a Filipina woman who has been separated for three years, but obviously still officially married. She is willing to live with me in a completely different part of the country from where her relatives live, and also from where her ex now lives. But I’m still worried that he might somehow find out where we are and try to blackmail me or have us arrested. I suppose the most likely scenario is that he wouldn’t bother if he heard we’d moved to a secret location, but for someone who’s determined to find out where another person is living, there are certain ways. You can apparently find the location of a mobile someone is using. A friend of his could contact a hotel where I was staying to get my passport number and he could then contact immigration and find out the address I put on the form when I get my ACR-I card, or contact immigration at the airport to have me arrested next time I left the country. All this maybe sounds a bit unlikely for someone who has little education and perhaps not that much money, but I just want to live in peace with my girlfriend and feel (almost) sure nothing will happen.

Of course there’s always a risk that someone he knows might happen to be living in the same place we choose to live in and recognise my girlfriend, but I think the chances of that happening are almost non-existent, if we’re in a completely different part of the country. Any advice or experiences from people in a similar situation?

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Gratefuled    3,297

Good Luck.

You make it sound like a ticking time bomb but it may not be all that bad. 

Your girl friend's situation is not new. Many women and men are separated and living different lives other than living with their spouse due to no divorce in the Philippines. So, in that case you don't have to worry.

Only time will tell. 

You cannot marry her but you can still have a happy life together.

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sonjack2847    6,627

Your girlfriend  might be able to register a separation,you should check that out.

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scott h    6,353
2 hours ago, peterfe said:

Any advice

Peter, you have already listed most of the things that can go wrong in a situation like this, with the exception of Mr motorcycle and his mate with a pistol on the back. So I do not know if you want us to talk you out of this or to say don't worry everything will be alright:89:

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Dave Hounddriver    19,121
1 hour ago, sonjack2847 said:

Your girlfriend  might be able to register a separation

Yeah, I like that idea.  I have known filipinas married to foreigners who get a legal separation and then go live with their boyfriends so it should, theoretically, work the same way in reverse.  But if he does not want to be separated and she left him . .  . well they say "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned" but the same thing works in Philippines with men.  If a woman dumps a man and goes to live with someone else then you could be looking at big trouble.:shades:

Edited by Dave Hounddriver
Keeping my own prejudices out of the post
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mogo51    4,531
1 hour ago, sonjack2847 said:

Your girlfriend  might be able to register a separation,you should check that out.

More information on this Kev?

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mogo51    4,531
9 minutes ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

Yeah, I like that idea.  I have known filipinas married to foreigners who get a legal separation and then go live with their boyfriends so it should, theoretically, work the same way in reverse.  But if he does not want to be separated and she left him . .  . well they say "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned" but the same thing works in Philippines with men.  If a woman dumps a man and goes to live with someone else then you could be looking at big trouble.  Besides that, if she dumped him she could eventually dump you.  

I find your last sentence strange Dave and probably not needed by Peter.  Without any knowledge as to why the separation eventuated, I don't see any basis for this possibility.

Peter is a new member asking for opinions on the problems associated with living with a married woman in Philippines - he has genuine concerns as I had some years back.  I think a bit more sensitivity would have been in order.

Anyway Peter, welcome to the forum, I will be in the same position as you when we get to Phils in a few days.  I have had all these trepidations in the past with the same thoughts.  But as pointed out, your chances are almost nil that this will occur.   But sonjack's idea of a separation notice might well be worth investigating, if it continues to be an issue for you.

Edited by mogo51
typo
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Dave Hounddriver    19,121
6 minutes ago, mogo51 said:

I find your last sentence strange Dave and probably not needed by Peter.  Without any knowledge as to why the separation eventuated, I don't see any basis for this possibility.

When you are right, you are right.  The last sentence was venom from my personal observations of women in general so I edited to remove it.  Thank you for pointing that out and 

Welcome to the forum peterfe.  We are not always perfect but we are a good bunch of members with valuable info to share.

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mogo51    4,531
Just now, Dave Hounddriver said:

When you are right, you are right.  The last sentence was venom from my personal observations of women in general so I edited to remove it.  Thank you for pointing that out and 

Welcome to the forum peterfe.  We are not always perfect but we are a good bunch of members with valuable info to share.

Cheers Dave - I thought that may have been the case, understandable.

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