Second Thoughts?

[Stevetheheave]

Funny, there are always people just waiting to take or find offence in absolutely anything & every thing. What did I say? Robert K & Onmyway? Banned for what exactly? No point having a Forum if you can't ask simple questions or state your opinion. I suppose I am wealthy by most peoples standards but I'm I'll soon be only half as wealthy when I pay off my wife of twenty one years. The reason I chose the Philippines is down to google. I did a search two years ago about best place to retire. Panama & the Philippines came up. I've been researching now for two years solidly. I think I could use The Philippines as my subject on Mastermind:) The more articles I read by YOU GUYS the more I doubt my choice of destination. As for Hawaii, I couldn't think of anything worse! So the reason I chose the Philippines is because I want to maintain the life I currently have in Ibiza. Now, have I offended anyone? It's like minefield. Or maybe I should say things like IMHO? That's seems to work on here?

[MikeB]

Funny, there are always people just waiting to take or find offence in absolutely anything & every thing. What did I say?

The term "retards" is offensive, perhaps not in your culture but, in general, it is. In the context you used I took it to mean that the country is backwards. In many ways that's true, a lot of very complex problems here that won't be solved in any of our lifetimes.  

[Dave Hounddriver]

What did I say? Robert K & Onmyway? Banned for what exactly? No point having a Forum if you can't ask simple questions or state your opinion

 

they really do come across as rude, thick retards

 

Don't pretend to be thick

[Stevetheheave]

Oh. Ok. Sorry. Retard. Yes you're right. Sorry. I type as I think. I meant no offence.

[OnMyWay]

Oh. Ok. Sorry. Retard. Yes you're right. Sorry. I type as I think. I meant no offence.

 

Steve, no problems here on any of the discussion about wealth and Philippines issues, of which there are many.  The "rude, thick, retards" was the issue and you have to remember that most on this forum have Filipino girlfriends, wives, children, friends and extended family.  That insults all of them.

 

Many of my Filipino family and friends are educated and smart.  However, they still do things that make me scratch my head.  Cultural differences abound and they will be different for expats from different countries. 

 

Added by edit:  Regarding RUDE, I would agree that it is a rude society by western standards.  I have asked Abby about this and she says that is just the way it is.  They don't really think of it as rude and I think someone mentioned on the forum here that they don't have a word for rude.  For the most part, it is a dog eat dog world here.  Shove a little bit to get to the front and it is ok.

 

I have a friend who was an OFW in Qatar and now is working in Singapore.  Sharp guy, mechanical engineer.  When he comes home he says he can't understand why Filipinos can obey all the rules when they are in another country but when they come home, all the rules go out the window.  I suspect that it is because they know there is no enforcement here and they also must return to the old ways just to survive.

Edited September 20, 2014 by OnMyWay

[davewe]

 

Oh. Ok. Sorry. Retard. Yes you're right. Sorry. I type as I think. I meant no offence.

 

Steve, no problems here on any of the discussion about wealth and Philippines issues, 

 

Added by edit:  Regarding RUDE, I would agree that it is a rude society by western standards.  I have asked Abby about this and she says that is just the way it is.  They don't really think of it as rude and I think someone mentioned on the forum here that they don't have a word for rude.  For the most part, it is a dog eat dog world here.  Shove a little bit to get to the front and it is ok.

 

 

Rude is one of those words that has so many meanings and is in itself a cultural observation. When I was young I lived in NYC. Were New Yorkers to my way of thinking rude? Hell yes! OTOH I still liked the place and the people. I am from Philadelphia and we have a rep as being rude (especially in sports). OTOH many Filipinos find Americans to be rude also; we're more direct and brusque in a culture where subtlety and face is important.

 

I think it's an Asian thing in general. I was in a Vietnamese restaurant last night with Janet and my daughter. I have been coming there for 20 years but less now since I don't live as close after my divorce to the kid's mother. At the register the owner asked me all kinds of questions: where was my son, did I have joint custody, were there just the 2 children. Questions that in America might be considered personal and rude. But then I remember - I have been coming to her restaurant for 20 years - she has seen my kids grow up and me get older. In an American restaurant I would be pissed cause they don't know who I am. Why should I be pissed because this woman has followed my life for decades? In the end I decided to be flattered that she knew my situation so well. 

 

As to the OP - take an open mind when traveling to the Philippines. Don't start out with the view that they are retards and rude. At the very least that will ruin your trip. It could certainly ruin your appreciation of a wonderful (if flawed) country.

Edited September 20, 2014 by davewe

[UnCheckedOther]

Aloha Steve the Heave,

Just like in First World countries, there is no monolithic Filipino lifestyle. Granted, yes, the majority of the Philippines is poverty-stricken. However, there are pockets in the country that are affluent. I suppose it's the true middle class that is rapidly disappearing in the country.

As for housing sizes not being up to par, well, there are houses in certain neighbourhoods that don't have a sardinas vibe. You just have to know the right people, aka the alta sociedad (colloquially known as altas). I must warn you, however, that these are the sort who are not easily impressed with a foreign passport as they have the means to be globally mobile on their own. Most of the time, one must be born into or be married into these families to be accepted.

[Jake]

Oh. Ok. Sorry. Retard. Yes you're right. Sorry. I type as I think. I meant no offence.

OK Steve, now you're talkin'!  In my book, it takes a bigger man to openly apologize in this forum and now it's time

for another group hug.....he, he.

 

On some very hot topics with heated discussions, one could very easily start typing away from the heart.  I have fell

into those emotional traps where I should have put both feet in my mouth.  But if you want to rant, just preface your

topic with a RANT ALERT and we will cry over our beers and howl to the moon all night.  Just as long you need to

get something off your chest and be done with it.  This is a family forum with active Filipina members keeping us in

the straight and narrow.  

 

Please do not allow negative waves precede you prior to your arrival to the Philippines.  You need to maintain a low

profile as much as possible -- adjustments and patience goes a long way in PI.  

 

Respectfully -- Jake

Edited September 20, 2014 by Jake
spil chek

[Curley]

So the reason I chose the Philippines is because I want to maintain the life I currently have in Ibiza.

 

Do you mind telling us why you're considering swapping Ibiza for the Phils?

[MacBubba]

Just like in First World countries, there is no monolithic Filipino lifestyle. Granted, yes, the majority of the Philippines is poverty-stricken. However, there are pockets in the country that are affluent. I suppose it's the true middle class that is rapidly disappearing in the country. As for housing sizes not being up to par, well, there are houses in certain neighbourhoods that don't have a sardinas vibe. You just have to know the right people, aka the alta sociedad (colloquially known as altas). I must warn you, however, that these are the sort who are not easily impressed with a foreign passport as they have the means to be globally mobile on their own. Most of the time, one must be born into or be married into these families to be accepted.

 

You're speaking of a dimension of Filipino society that doesn't get much air play here.  And, when the affluent are mentioned, they are at times maligned as oppressors or as those who have gained stature by less than desirable means.

 

Yes, there are those, but there are many more who cannot be painted with the same brush.  I've had the good fortune of having met some of the most erudite and educated of Manila's alta sociedad, and it never fails to impress me that these fellows do not comport themselves with elevated self importance.  We're talking about movers and shakers here, not just people who know people who are movers and shakers.

 

No doubt Filipino society has more layers than the ones we're accustomed to, and not infrequently, I read  unflattering generalizations about Filipinos.  This might be why Steve the Heave was given a less than favorable impression.

 

This is not to rile against the negative posts I've read in the past, and will no doubt continue to read...I do realize that those are part and parcel of a lively forum.

 

UnCheckedOther, thanks for your post.  It gives a dimension that is often left out.