Kids !!! Who Wants Em ????

[nor cal mike]

i am bob. i totally agree with you if you love her those kids are a part of her so why wouldnt you love them too?many adopt kids for one reason or another and bring them up as there own with as much love and caring as natural parents cheers

You are so right lyno 47', there are so many kids who simply need love.

[nor cal mike]

I don't want kids

I totally understand your position and I respect and admire your honesty. Sadly, to many men do not have the strenght to be honest and children suffer. My hat's off to you sir.

[nor cal mike]

I like kids as long as someone takes them home with them when they leave ..... :mocking: .... Sad but true I find I have very little patients dealing with kids in my golden years .... while I have been known to buy a toy or two for the little tykes living next door or McDoo for a group of special children BUT I am not responsible for raising them .... and I have NO TOLERANCE at all kids that don't behave or their parents that don't make them .... more so for the parents as they are supposed to set the example .... yea I know I'm a PITA ..... oh well .... ...... :28:

Mike, I admire your honesty and agree that parents should be the ones to set the example.

[lyno 47]

mike s. to each his own i love kids i love watching them becoming real indipendant llittle people.but you are right the parents have to instill all the values and good manners etc into the child,i think many parents do but that is no sure thing that they wont go off the rails, cheers

[joeatmanila]

#1 why would i ever marry someone with kids of her own? millions of single ones...get another chance!!

#2 In case i do not want or cannot have children of my own...why should i ever get married? Every gf i had in my life they all told me the same stories, same scenery more or less....

#3 Each and every one with his own opinion likes and dislikes in life...a totally personal matter.

[Thomas]

For me 0, 1 (perhaps 2) already can be OK, I don't want more than totaly 3 including geting 2 own biological.

If the father is dead or out of the picture - and they are not married -

it can even be an ADVANTAGE she has a child already, because

1. most Filipinas value down themselves much if they are an unmarried mother

2. most are left by the father, so they have been burned by a man allready, which means the new man don't need to do much good to be found good in comparing :dance:

If the child and I like each other, it's no big difference for me, at least if it's a small child. I love most small children and most small children love me :) But I don't want to start becoming stepfather for one over 10 years old, because losing the most fun part (=4-5 age) and only get the teenage part :boohoo: :no:

Although it can be a waste of my genes :mocking: I can even find it be an alternative to adopt kids, who are not biological the my future wife either, because if they are 2-4 years old, then can see personality before decide, which can't be done with own biological children :hystery:

(My grandmother had a small child already, when my grandfather married her. Back then it was a shame to be an unmarried mother here, my stepaunt kept it sectret even for her own children, when she grew up, while my grandfather treated both her and her children as his grandchildren, so he didn't say anything either, so they didn't knew he was stepgrandfather before both he and my stepaunt had died.)

---

Concerning how many children Filipinas want, it seem to have reduced much. At least among them who have told me. (1, 2, 2, 5. Coming from 4, 4, 10 and 12 children families.) But they are more clever than average :) perhaps no change among others.

[OldUgly&Cranky]

as i said my girl has 2 kids the oldest girl is 16 now and the boy is 12 and i couldnt be happier with them there great kids the girl speaks more english then the boy but he will learn it , its sooo nice when we have a family movie night and i sit on the floor and i have 1 kid on my right and 1 on my left and its almost like they fight for my attention lol and my girl is on the sofa behind me ! and if i want , i have a little guy to get me a beer at the sari sari store but i have got wise to him coz when a grande was 45 pesos he wouldnt give me change hahaha ohh well saves me from going down to get it haha and me and the boy play game cube and the daughter and i talk and shes very loving , im sure if there would be any problems because im not there real father im sure it would have started to come out by now especially with the daughter but it hasnt so far lol knock on wood !! the boy would throw little tantrums if we were going out and not take him but a loud yell from me would be pretty much all it would take to make that stop and i have a deep loud voice like a drill sargent then the next day we would come up to me and say sorry daddy and hug me ! so i guess so far i have been lucky !!

As i said i wouldnt trade them for anything and i even said to my girl if anything happened to us and we split up or whatever I will always be there for the kids i really took them into my heart as my own !! im Daddy to them and I AM THERE FATHER !!!

O-U-C :thumbsup:

Edited December 29, 2012 by OldUgly&Cranky

[Mike S]

I admire you guys that have had good experiences with step children ..... I was married once to a woman that had a child .... I had a child by another marriage and then we had one together ...... so we had ...... yours .. mine .. and ours ..... :mocking: .... things just didn't work out to well for us as the kids were constantly trying to cause friction between us .... and it didn't help that her father was still around and had visiting rights .... which caused even more problems .... when he finally left town the girl went ape-sh*t and we would have to hunt her up at night to make her come home .... (she was 14) .... she then started teaching my daughter all kinds of bad tricks .... such as threatening to call HRS if we disciplined either of them .... she finally went to live with her father who after 6 months wanted us to take her back .... but by then our marriage was all ready kaput ...... I swore I would never marry another woman with kids ..... but that is just me .... that divorce cost me a bundle but thank god I only had to give her reconstructive alimony for 4 years .... I had to pay child support for 13 years and she got the house and all the furnishing including a car ..... but I got away with my daughter ..... :thumbsup: ..... :cheersty:

[Americano]

When you decide to marry a woman who has kids by another man your life could turn out good but I say you are gambling because your life could turn out like the life Mike described. His story is very common especially in the Western world but it happens in the East too.

[Thomas]

things just didn't work out to well for us as the kids were constantly trying to cause friction between us .... and it didn't help that her father was still around and had visiting rights ...

Yes, I wouldn't want a situation where the father is still around, because if not else they will mess up the up bringing,

and often the kids still want the parents to be a couple again, even if it's impossible, so big risk they will try to sabotage your new relation..

And - if they are not in baby age - kind of not need to get "Yes" only from the woman, but from the child/children too...