Kids !!! Who Wants Em ????

[Classic Dry]

I'm with Mike S, Jake and others on this.

I've been a responsible person all my life, and kids, however enjoyable, loving, affectionate and enriching they are,

come with a need for a responsible relationship, in an adult who will join their family.

I would take this responsibility very seriously.

I have a need, right now, at my age, to divest myself of those remaining responsibilities, so far as I can.

When I leave here, those responsibilities will be few.

I will not take on more new ones than absolutely necessary.

[Julia]

i am bob. i totally agree with you if you love her those kids are a part of her so why wouldnt you love them too?many adopt kids for one reason or another and bring them up as there own with as much love and caring as natural parents cheers

You are so right lyno 47', there are so many kids who simply need love.

:th_thbestpost:

[lyno 47]

Julia you hit the nail right on the head

IMHO kids dont ask to be born and when they are, we should give them all the love and support we can.show them that loving parents natural or not dont need lots of money to make a happy life with respect for all.If you can give them that, along with love they in most cases take those values into there adult life and in turn pass on those lessons to there own wife and kids. cheers lyno

[Classic Dry]

Julia you hit the nail right on the head

IMHO kids dont ask to be born and when they are, we should give them all the love and support we can.show them that loving parents natural or not dont need lots of money to make a happy life with respect for all.If you can give them that, along with love they in most cases take those values into there adult life and in turn pass on those lessons to there own wife and kids. cheers lyno

This is true, and I agree wholeheartedly, but I would think 2,3 or 4 times before taking on yet another responsibility.

Having said that I will keep my options open. Who knows what the future may bring ?

[BrettGC]

To be honest guys I'll be seeking a relationship pretty soon after I arrive, albeit with great caution. I've never been one to fit the old navy stereotype of "A girl in every port" and my ex-wife (we're actually still friends - the strain of navy life was too much for her) and mother of my mostly grown children describes me as somewhat of a serial monogamist :). But neither am I one that "needs" to be in a relationship, I've been happily unattached for about 5 years now. We divorced in '01 and my kids are now f22, m20 and f16 (yes we started young) and largely living their own lives. I've had two serious relationships since then that ended due to circumstances more than anything else. I'm only 43 but decided I'm going to try to restrict my search to the 29+ bracket and the reality is that most women in this age group will have kids already so the chances of them wanting more will hopefully be less. I had a vasectomy at the tender age of 30 and never regretted it. Just as an aside, funny story relating to that:

About 12 months after the divorce I was dating a young lady we shall call "Kasia". One night the very lovely Kasia calls me up:

"Brett, Brett I'm pregnant"

Brett: "Congratulations"

Kasia: "But it's yours"

Brett: "It must be the immaculate %^&*!@g conception then, I had a vasectomy a few years ago"

Kasia: "Oh" <clunk>

I then hi-tailed it down to the nearest fertility clinic and had a sperm count done; shootin' blanks :). I never heard from the lovely Kasia again.

Back to the topic at hand: Am I wrong in the above assumption with regards to Filipinas that already have kids? I really don't want anymore of my own. I'm pretty realistic with regards to women 29+ and I could choose to avoid those with kids, instead I choose to embrace it if the lady in question and I have the right relationship - I see the package deal and we all have our baggage in life so for myself, it would be unfair of me to judge based on that alone. I'd treat them as my own if that was appropriate, as someone said all kids deserve to be loved, they didn't ask to be born.

Edited January 11, 2013 by BrettGC

[Jack Peterson]

Hi Brett, Jack P saying hello and welcome. Advice is so easy to give, if we don't have to clean the mess up after. From one who took on a single mother and her daughter I admire your thoughts on this subject.

I'd treat them as my own if that was appropriate, as someone said all kids deserve to be loved, they didn't ask to be born.

My only advice at this time, is to take your time, Don't promise things you can't deliver ( especially where a child is concerned)

There are many ladies,that will promise YOU the earth, you just have to sift the weeds, from the flowers. There ARE many Nice decent single mothers, who need a relationship and some security for the child/children. They, will not come to you, but they will be there for you to find.

The PI is getting tough ( or trying to) on many issues and child welfare is one of them, if your lady says she is single, make sure she is, many posts have been written with this in mind.

courting( WOW what an old fashioned way to put this) :) a married lady, is to be frowned on. Firstly, it is illegal ( jail Time could follow, secondly, an annulment would be so very costly. and not meaning to put dampers on this for you but it has to be said, Please make sure that there is no man on the scene. ( usually referred to as my Cousin.)

Have fun, Enjoy life and just take what advice that is offered, as a guideline to your quest for happiness. We non of us, know it all,

i wish you well and no doubt we will meet in posts again.

regards Jack P. :thumbsup: :tiphat:

[BrettGC]

All good advice Jack, thanks :cheersty:

[stevewool]

when you start talking to the ladies either on the internet or meeting them face to face, does it come out straight away have you any kids, and if it did would it stop you from seeing them again, well for me its getting to know the person first, and a later time if they have kids well so what, who knows what will happen in the future, once i knew Emma was going to be my wife it would not bother me at all if she had a child, it is Emma that i fell in love with, a child well just like me i have children does that make me not a good catch to some, i am so glad that Ems seen past my past and has excepted me for who i am today,

[BrettGC]

when you start talking to the ladies either on the internet or meeting them face to face, does it come out straight away have you any kids, and if it did would it stop you from seeing them again, well for me its getting to know the person first, and a later time if they have kids well so what, who knows what will happen in the future, once i knew Emma was going to be my wife it would not bother me at all if she had a child, it is Emma that i fell in love with, a child well just like me i have children does that make me not a good catch to some, i am so glad that Ems seen past my past and has excepted me for who i am today,

I know I'm limiting myself with regards to that Steve and normally I'm open to most things but in this I'm pretty certain of what I want. My days of nappy changes and feeds in the darkness are done :). But as you say, who can know what the future will bring :)

[stevewool]

when you start talking to the ladies either on the internet or meeting them face to face, does it come out straight away have you any kids, and if it did would it stop you from seeing them again, well for me its getting to know the person first, and a later time if they have kids well so what, who knows what will happen in the future, once i knew Emma was going to be my wife it would not bother me at all if she had a child, it is Emma that i fell in love with, a child well just like me i have children does that make me not a good catch to some, i am so glad that Ems seen past my past and has excepted me for who i am today,

I know I'm limiting myself with regards to that Steve and normally I'm open to most things but in this I'm pretty certain of what I want. My days of nappy changes and feeds in the darkness are done :). But as you say, who can know what the future will bring :)

thats one of the best things we have now, we can please ourselves who we want to be with ,why settle for second best, we have not long to enjoy whats left so its down to each other to get the best we can no matter how old she is , how many kids she has and how pretty she is, its down to personal preference, but i shall just say this i have the best one out there, so its second for the rest of you :thumbsup: