Weeding Out Gold Diggers

[Coffeehound]

Boys, I sure did win the lottery! Married 23 years and her family has never ever asked for one red cent. I have made offers to help if needed at times, which are always declined. I no w longer think of them as my in laws- they are simply my family. From what I've seen though once these sort of financial requests start it never ends.

Regards

[sjp52]

 Sorry I couldn't find a gold digger topic to post on.

 I was introduced to a ''nice'' girl on my last trip to Philippines. I spent more than a week with her. She is 35, 2 teenage sons, partner deserted her. I met a lot of women there and most had a child and the BF left them, doesn't support them.

She does a good job of raising her kids, lives in one room, income from a small window store. Her son got sick when I was there, ended up in hospital with a liver infection, she stayed with him for a couple of days in hospital. She said she didn't know how she would pay and I offered to give her money, at first she refused but eventually she accepted, 12k p to pay. Once we were walking through a mall and she said she loves shoes and purses and looked like she was waiting for me to respond,,,, I'm thinking here??? . Now that I'm home she wants to buy a store and asked me for 75k for the store and 50k for supplies and I'm thinking gold digger. Do you think I'm right? I feel for these people, I know how poor they are and how rich I must look. I'd like to help her, but I've only known her for a week and don't think it's reasonable.

 

 I had a Chinese GF for 3 years, she never asked me for anything, she's not well off, I did buy her a nice gift every time I returned to China. She refused to let me take her shopping because she went with her GFs, never asked me for money. She always gave to crap for spending money, I needed so many things for my apartment, an extra hot plate, more pots etc, really just basics. She once gave me crap for buying a clothes iron, I explained that I can't wear wrinkled clothes and she understood. I did buy a scooter, I just can't live without my own wheels. This is what I expect from a Filipino. Am I right?

If you were in your own country and a girl you just met asked you for 75000 what would you think of her. Did you really need confirmation on your thoughts.

 

Its like asking,  Ive been shot in the head, Do you think I,m in trouble ?

Edited August 1, 2014 by sjp52

[i am bob]

Its like asking,  Ive been shot in the head, Do you think I,m in trouble ?

 

Why, you're perfectly fine!  Can I borrow P1.5 mil?

 

:mocking:

[Markham]

 

Its like asking,  Ive been shot in the head, Do you think I,m in trouble ?

 

Why, you're perfectly fine!  Can I borrow P1.5 mil?

 

:mocking:

 

The correct terminology is: "Can I lend P1.5 million?"

[Methersgate]

and "I have a credit to...x" means "I owe x"  (usually double the amount  stated).

[Thomas]

I think it is perhaps wise to assume that any Filipina outside the middle classes who is willing to date a foreigner is motivated to some extent by money. Dividing them up into "gold diggers" and "honest women" is just a good way to mislead yourself.

But it's a HUGE difference between

/a Filipina wanting a DECENT living standard after THEIR messure. (Sum depend of how many kids. E g one Filipina I know a bit want no more than one kid, if income is common Filipin (=7000 - 15 000p per month) but want some more kids if the income is 40 000p.)

/and golddiggers trying to get much more undepending of who they get it from...

[Methersgate]

But, Thomas, in your first case, 40K a month is already a lot. I think you will agree that "more kids" is not the wise way to spend the "more money" - she would do better to save for a house and to educate the one kid. And what happens when her mother gets ill and needs to go to hospital?

 

Not gold digging, but still copper mining.

 

I am engaged to a very good looking 28 year old woman who speaks fluent English and is very witty. She is the sort of woman that other men notice. Her parents like me. What's my attraction? Well, I am kind and thoughtful - but that does not attract 28 year old pretty women! What matters is that I listen to what she says, I treat her son as my own, and that I am a "good provider". Without the last, the rest is nothing.

[Thomas]

I think you will agree that "more kids" is not the wise way to spend the "more money" - she would do better to save for a house and to educate the one kid.

Well. She don't want MANY more, 2-3.)

Actualy ONE kid is NOT a good alternative, perhaps for the parents, but often NOT for the child in the long run, because only children more often get relation problems as grown ups, because they are use to get "100 %" and most husbands/wifes want to give some less, get some percent for themselves and kids too   :)

(One of my nephews have messed up by marrying an only child, although he is eldest child himself and told him direct that combination have no chance. Now he has a hell, see no good way out of it.) 

what happens when her mother gets ill and needs to go to hospital?

Three of her sisters are married to foreigners   :lol:  

What matters is that I listen to what she says, I treat her son as my own, and that I am a "good provider". Without the last, the rest is nothing.

Yes.

Filipinas aiming at live OK without much worry about income have GOOD goal

while the golddiggers aiming at becoming as rich as possible, are CRAP.

[BrettGC]

Well, I am kind and thoughtful - but that does not attract 28 year old pretty women! What matters is that I listen to what she says, I treat her son as my own, and that I am a "good provider". Without the last, the rest is nothing.

 

Words to live by in my experience.