Expat behaviour

[Jollygoodfellow]

4 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

I have personally heard 4 expats talking who do this dumping crap. Now these people reflect on all of us with that kind of behaviour and they probably have grandchildren  older than the women they are using.

Just wondering if these guys are long term expats or perhaps those who might stay 3 months of the year. What I mean are they actually living full time in de Phils and have so for some time or perhaps they are just more or less newbies in the playground phase. 

[robert k]

1 hour ago, Sander Martin said:

Your right, age doesn't play a role if a person is loyal or not. I was just trying to say that there is two sides of a coin here. Yes there and guys (young and old) who are here to have a fun time and screw everything that moves and yes there are alot of women here looking for their next sugar daddy. Why alot of the younger girls prefer older man is the fact, that with age usually comes a bigger wallet. I know that there are a few young girls that genuinely like older men, but im sure the % is around the same as in any country in the world.

I dont think that normal expats will be judged on what those sexpats do. For the ladies its harder and most of them will be judged as gold diggers (both by expats, but mostly by other Filipinos). Me and my SO are same age (im almost 30 and shes abit older) and we both see the judgemental faces when we walk around... Oh well human nature.

I had dated women 20 years younger than me in the US, I see the Philippines as being no different. Believe me, I am not made out of money even by Philippine standards...but I'm working on it (aren't we all?). I'm not looking for hot and cold running 20 year olds although I do get a kick out of the young ones flirting with me and batting their eyelashes at me. The right 30 year old who I think would give me the same love, care, affection and loyalty that I would give will be subjected to my charm. I went out a few times with a 25 year old Filipina and I think she had all the qualities I admire save one, she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life and frankly I couldn't hang around for 5 to 10 years waiting for her to figure it out.

[Sander Martin]

1 hour ago, robert k said:

I had dated women 20 years younger than me in the US, I see the Philippines as being no different. Believe me, I am not made out of money even by Philippine standards...but I'm working on it (aren't we all?). I'm not looking for hot and cold running 20 year olds although I do get a kick out of the young ones flirting with me and batting their eyelashes at me. The right 30 year old who I think would give me the same love, care, affection and loyalty that I would give will be subjected to my charm. I went out a few times with a 25 year old Filipina and I think she had all the qualities I admire save one, she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life and frankly I couldn't hang around for 5 to 10 years waiting for her to figure it out.

Yeah well 20 years isn't really that much of a age difference and if you both are happy then everything is super. My mom was 20years younger than my dad aswell. The original poster was talking about guys that have "girlfriends" younger than their granddaughters. Iv seen plenty of those barely walking 70+ guys with their 18yo girlfriends in the malls. Just looks funny to me. Aslong as they are both happy with the agreement then i wish them luck. I just cant see any "love" from the girls point of view.

I dont think the "innocent girls" get burned by the sexpats. Most of those guys get their "new meat" from bars and its girls looking for material gain just being played. Most "innocent girls" wouldn't hang around the girly/expat bars looking for foreigners.

[Dave Hounddriver]

7 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

The part came up about expats here who go out with much younger women with no intention of having a relationship and with the intention of dumping that girl after about 6 weeks.

Are you talking about me again 

I was 58 when 18 year old Yvonne made her moves on me.  I tried to tell her she's too young and would not even give her my phone number in an effort to discourage her.  That only made her more determined to track me down and make me her boyfriend.

I figured I'd go out with her for about a month and by that time she would see it was not going to work and we could both enjoy each other's company in the meantime.  After a  month she was sure she wanted to stay and I didn't have the heart to throw her out when she was trying so hard to make this work.

2 and a 1/2 years later it does not matter what my intentions were, I'm addicted and she thinks she's in love   Point is, what a guy says and what really happens are usually 2 different things.

 

EDIT:  Oh, yeah, forgot to mention I've got less money than 80% of the younger expats who would love to have a girl like Yvonne but these young guys really are not experienced enough to keep a woman happy.  Oh well, they can think its all about the money if that makes them happy.

Edited May 13, 2016 by Dave Hounddriver

[Larry45]

Nice Filipina girls get burned by expats all the time, and I've known several.  It's quite common for tourists to meet 5-10 girls online, and plan their vacation here travelling from one to the next.  Of course each girl is led to believe it's more than just the sex tour that it really is.  The guys justify their deception by rationalizing that the girl is probably bullsh&tting them too.  And they are probably right.  Unfortunately, some nice girls get caught up in this and suffer the consequences of their desperation to snag a foreigner.

As for the guys planning to break up with their gf after 6 weeks, maybe they were referencing the average amount of time it takes to uncover the typical lies, scams, or requests for money...and the honeymoon is over for them at that point.  It's a defeatist attitude, but one that is realistic.

[Sander Martin]

24 minutes ago, Larry45 said:

Nice Filipina girls get burned by expats all the time, and I've known several.  It's quite common for tourists to meet 5-10 girls online, and plan their vacation here travelling from one to the next.  Of course each girl is led to believe it's more than just the sex tour that it really is.  The guys justify their deception by rationalizing that the girl is probably bullsh&tting them too.  And they are probably right.  Unfortunately, some nice girls get caught up in this and suffer the consequences of their desperation to snag a foreigner.

As for the guys planning to break up with their gf after 6 weeks, maybe they were referencing the average amount of time it takes to uncover the typical lies, scams, or requests for money...and the honeymoon is over for them at that point.  It's a defeatist attitude, but one that is realistic.

I was chatting longer to about 8-10 girls before coming here. Stoped talking to about 40, because i figured out they were after a rich foreigner in 20mins. I was going to meet 3 of them. Though to myself if i dont click with the girls, then atleast i had some fun with them touring around Phills. I ended up telling the other two that i had to delay my visit and only ended up meeting Anne. The 3 months i spent talking to her online before my visit made me feel that shes really a down to earth honest person just looking to share her life with someone. The fact that she was highly educated and had a good job was a big bonus. I wasn't going to be anyones sugar daddy (and i dont intent to start now). Never ever has she asked me for a penny. For me personally its important to have a companion around the same age as me. Ask me again if it was a right choice after my mid life crisis - in 40 years i might be one of shaky 70years old guys chasing 18 year old girls ??.

Two years later i still feel the exact same thing. I feel lucky after hearing all the horror stories (atleast for now). We had a baby boy a month ago, so hopefully our relationship wont change. Only time will tell.

[MikeSwede]

This will become one interesting thread.

First, I agree with Sander above, I spoke to a few that clearly were not interesting in settling down just yet.

Second, I had the intention of travelling the land and get some bearing before making up my mind of who my future precious one would be, and doing that, I could easily have been "one of those guys".

Dating and playing are to different activities that easily can get mixed up, given the expactations of the people involved.

Now, I ran into this woman that spank me if I try to spend a dime on silly things, and need a long discourse in the pro and cons of a dual action washing machine before I can go to get one.

I guess I am settled.

[sonjack2847]

5 hours ago, chris49 said:

I know you heard some guys talking as you did mention in your original post.

Cite some examples to indicate if this is a recurring phenomena. I have been around 10 years and have not heard much about innocent girls getting duped. But I have heard plenty about naïve ex pats or even not so naïve ex pats getting fleeced.

It's just guys talking per what you have said so far.

 

It first happened in Cebu 5 years ago and I have seen it with my own eyes 2 times since I have lived in Dumaguete.

[MikeSwede]

2 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

2 and a 1/2 years later it does not matter what my intentions were, I'm addicted and she thinks she's in love  

We need a few of these stories in the mix to balance the "general picture".

There is nothing that will make me say age must be a problem, or that money is the only grease for the cogs of love and relations.

I have been much younger, same age and plenty older than my gf's. I had "share-it-all", "each-pay-his" and "I-am-broke" in those relations.

Attraction has always been something else, maturity on my part or earlier in life, on her part. The sexual thingy. Or the exotic thingy (which I am a sucker for, hands down). Or the wild and crazy thingy.

Now I am in deep affection in a women a few years less than me but who run her life in a way that make her a bit of my hero. The respect and awe thingy. Plus the wild and crazy. Plus the exotic. Plus the.. well, that part is private.

There are tabloid articles shouting, drunk friends talking and unhappy hearts crying about all those bad intentions and lousy people out there, while in here, 99% of the people I know and in relation, build theirs on affection. In the end.

[Hey Steve]

16 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

... The part came up about expats here who go out with much younger women with no intention of having a relationship and with the intention of dumping that girl after about 6 weeks...
 

IMO opinion (outside of the bargirl types) we are in their country and should more or less bend to some of the most important cultural aspects of what identifies these women in their own society. That said "being together"-regardless of age difference should result (after courtship in whatever form) in marriage and children as an end game-typically. Their country-their culture-and it's not really such a bazzar concept-it's just, well, traditional.

In some cases westerners coming to the Philippines feel, again as I see it, that they can just come over and in many ways have their cake and eat it too. No marriage, no children-just having a live in ...for example-Reekay (Henry) from Life Beyond the Sea comes to mind. Financial security for the lady has more impact for these women than western women and it is the man's trump card; whereas she will likely bend away from what is culturally the norm in her country as this applies to this segment of Phil/Western couples.

Edited May 13, 2016 by Hey Steve