Living her dream Hating her dream

[sonjack2847]

17 hours ago, stevewool said:

So keep that drink chilled i am on my way. we both are,

Best if we buy a fresh one when you get here.

In my time here I have heard many stories of how when people move here the asking increases so Steve best you get a set of headphones and listen to a lot of music so you can ignore them as their track record is quite horrible towards you and Ems.

[Nickleback99]

15 hours ago, jpbago said:

That is the answer. Set the rules with your partner and let him/her enforce them. We had some problems with people asking for loans at first  but not just from family. Filipinos think all kanos are rich and that money grows on trees. We had some problems with people dropping over for lunch or dinner every day but my wife sorted those out.

We don't have a car nor m/c and we don't pretend to have money. We walk or take buses and tricycles. We shop at the market mostly, even at the ukays. My wife bargains and often hears some one saying "Her husband is a foreigner." After awhile they see that I am putting 2 girls thru university and have 5 or 6 living in our house, including the matriarch (who they don't help out yet she raised 10 kids, and their kids and their kids.) 

I only pay for funerals and circumcisions.

I'd be willing to also pay for vasectomies and gettin' the tubes tied!  Especially  for the two couples w/ 4 kids that cannot afford 1 kid.  They all thought I'd be the money honey man when came onto the scene and all problems solved....Took a while, but guess what?...I'm Not.  Yeah, I let my wife sort it out and be the broker, but she Always asks me before sending anything to mom, who manages it very well and we are putting the one son through 4 yr college for IT and he's pretty sharp.  He also keeps his rascal wrapped and no kids so far.  

[Nickleback99]

20 minutes ago, sonjack2847 said:

I have been told by 2 expats that when they were in the US and the UK their wives were great but as soon as they moved back here the wives reverted back to Philippine mentality and they say it seems like they don`t even exist anymore.Has anybody else experienced this.

My wife has expressed concern about moving back for that very reason, because She Knows the expectations go up and also spread out to other relatives.  Another reason we will not be living anywhere Near any of them.   She understands that all of this is not negotiable as we have our own son, maybe another at some point or will adopt one more; so, we have to take care of Ourselves first as many pointed out

[sonjack2847]

5 minutes ago, Nickleback99 said:

My wife has expressed concern about moving back for that very reason, because She Knows the expectations go up and also spread out to other relatives.  Another reason we will not be living anywhere Near any of them.   She understands that all of this is not negotiable as we have our own son, maybe another at some point or will adopt one more; so, we have to take care of Ourselves first as many pointed out

We lived about 20km from my wife`s family for 4 years and they were no bother at all.In fact the only time they asked for money was to get back to their villiage after the fiesta.Up until this point I have no regrets.

On a positive side my wife saw her cousin,he told her to meet him at his church on the Thursday evening as he wanted to give her some vegetables. OMG he gave her 2 massive sacks of various vegetables which we had to share around the people we know as we could not hope to eat all of them before they went rotten.Yes I am lucky up to some other people who get it in the ear all the time.

[bigpearl]

6 hours ago, robert k said:

Ed,http://www.theblaze.com/news/2017/03/10/high-schoolers-blasted-for-wearing-american-flag-colors-to-basketball-game-heres-why/

http://abcnews.go.com/US/american-flag-flap-high-school-backs-telling-student/story?id=31070079 Not a matter of public safety as claimed because they would be MORE guilty for backing down on a matter of public safety.

Where does this fit in on this topic/thread? Maybe I am a slacker and missed something, slap and correct if need be, patriotism and the ifs and buts? Another topic? Another time? 

Cheers, Steve.

 

[bigpearl]

7 hours ago, Gratefuled said:

This is the Philippines and many are anti-America. One just doesn't know who.

We know the NPA Communists do not like Americans.

We know that Islamic radicals do not like Americans.

I'm not in my country where I am proud to fly the stars and stripes.

I don't agree with everything President Trump says and does but he has one thing right,

"AMERICA FIRST"

When I Was in South Africa 12 or 15 years ago, working with a big name American actor, I was always the lead into the bar, "gidday mate, give us 4 beers" "where u from?" Australia, never a problem and the accent is the give away. Whilst holstering a 44 (forced to carry by our illustrious security dept or I was not allowed into the street life) shat myself every day, younger? Stupider? Well paid (obviously). Do it again (never). 

While many countries and individuals hate, hate and hate prosperous countries, or individuals (religious or political),,,,,,, Australia included. My/our minuscule life and dealings within other countries including the Philippines pales into what? Insignificance? Absolutely, your family and friends see and know what and who you are, bigoted or a normal human being, giving and sharing. Saying no. As said earlier by myself and others, set some/all ground rules, be a decent open minded human being, embrace the culture of your partner. All others go to the back.

This topic wavers, myself and my input also but interesting insights into life in the Philippines as we, the members see it. Our dearly beloved/partners learn also. Spell it out, communicate the problems/issues as I did years ago, reality strikes and rightly so.

Cheers, Steve   

Edited June 1, 2017 by bigpearl

[stevewool]

5 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

Firstly I will say that my wife`s family do not ask for anything even though they are dirt poor farmers.

My wife gets her allowance and what she does with it is up to her the same as yours.A few months ago she came to me 3/4 of the way through the month and asked for money.Why! OOh I run out  yeh why well I sent my mama money ok hun that`s ok but in future send her money at the end of the month.If we do not take care of ourselves first we cannot take care of them.She agreed and has changed accordingly.

I have been told by 2 expats that when they were in the US and the UK their wives were great but as soon as they moved back here the wives reverted back to Philippine mentality and they say it seems like they don`t even exist anymore.Has anybody else experienced this.

Interesting this Kev,

Ok its only on holidays when we are over there and you have to do the visit thing, but i hate overstaying anywhere ,but once the girls are in full talk mode and eating mode Emma is quite happy to stay there all day long and into the night too,

Even here in England its a quick visit everywhere , so i may have to look out for that,

[stevewool]

5 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

Best if we buy a fresh one when you get here.

In my time here I have heard many stories of how when people move here the asking increases so Steve best you get a set of headphones and listen to a lot of music so you can ignore them as their track record is quite horrible towards you and Ems.

Whats so funny about all this and the story i was told from Emma about the family and what i have seen myself and what i have read and heard from many folk who has gone before me, many are the same , they will ask with that smile and if you say no they will still carry on eating there food and then ask the same thing the next day, until you say NO or YES.

Where we are going to call home once there is the house we built for her father and her brother who has never ever asked for any funds what so ever , ok the brother will pester Ems for money for fags but thats it, Yes the bills will be taken care of once there but its better then paying rent for the time being and who knows it may be fine for so long.

I dont speak to so many members of the family and there partners and i cannot see that changing at all either, but like anything things can change , the only thing that gets to me is how they treat there sister and thats when i get involved, its the ugly duckling thing that has turned into a swan and they dont like it.

[Dave Hounddriver]

5 minutes ago, stevewool said:

they will ask with that smile and if you say no they will still carry on eating there food and then ask the same thing the next day, until you say NO or YES.

My experience is that a polite but firm NO only means not today.  They have no problem asking the same question every day until they either get a "yes" or a very rude answer.

[jpbago]

6 hours ago, sonjack2847 said:

Firstly I will say that my wife`s family do not ask for anything even though they are dirt poor farmers.

My wife gets her allowance and what she does with it is up to her the same as yours.A few months ago she came to me 3/4 of the way through the month and asked for money.Why! OOh I run out  yeh why well I sent my mama money ok hun that`s ok but in future send her money at the end of the month.If we do not take care of ourselves first we cannot take care of them.She agreed and has changed accordingly.

I have been told by 2 expats that when they were in the US and the UK their wives were great but as soon as they moved back here the wives reverted back to Philippine mentality and they say it seems like they don`t even exist anymore.Has anybody else experienced this.

My wife does not get an allowance. She has her own ATM card and her own Am Ex credit card. She uses the cards for everything. She got us a room in Cebu, free flight from PAL air miles, pays the taxis, the restos, and all of our daughters's expenses, school related. Our girls get their allowances from her. Of course, she has no income so it all comes out of the family pot. I find this easier than when she has to ask for this or that. It is the same in Canada and so far, never a problem. She is quite careful on spending and can bargain in the PI much better than I can. She does give out 5 or 10p to beggars and does buy some coke/biscuits for the family but usually that is from her mahjong winnings.