Popular Post intrepid Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 Who do you hang with? I moved here to the Philippines fourteen months ago. So far no regrets and overall am happy. One thing lacking is to have a close friend to share some common interests and bonding time. We have some family not too far away and love them dearly. But like others have found out with family members as well as locals, communicating more than simple conversations can be challenging to the point that sometimes I just give up. We have met a few other other foreigners that we meet sometimes for lunches. Since we have a daughter in sixth grade my wife has made friends with some other mothers but I still feel left out. Thankfully I have a large network of friends and family back in states and spend a lot of time talking, testing, and emailing them. Also friends here on the forum along with machining forums and model ship forums. However, I still would like find someone local with common interests to hang out with a few times a month. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post expatuk2014 Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 Same here, my best friend here is my wife, well she is the reason i am here in phil. Dont have any expat friends here the ones i see locally are Americans shopping with their wives. I see you are in Santa Rosa which we visit often ( SM snd the Japanese surplus stores on the Nat Highway ) In fact we are going to SM mon morning to get a picture cleaned then off to Nuvali to pickup some New cctv gear and buy dome jco doughnuts😆 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Snowy79 Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 I'm a different animal over here and tend to tolerate most people a lot more than I did in the UK. As such I pretty much bond with most people. Even the ones that need the odd slap now and again. I find I just keep my mouth shut when around idiots and so far they've not been an idiot to me. I've now got a decent little group of ex pats that I can mix with. I just restrict some conversations depending who I am with. I'm also happy to go into a bar on my own so maybe I've became more of a loner and less in need of others who have similar interests. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Dave Hounddriver Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 1 hour ago, intrepid said: . . . Thankfully I have a large network of friends and family back in states . . . And thats the secret here too, have a large network of friends rather than having one 1 hour ago, intrepid said: . . . close friend to share some common interests and bonding time. . . The reason is we all have so many varied interests that I could not think of a single person who likes everything I like, so why look for something that will limit you. I enjoy the company of each of my friends. Sometimes individually and sometimes in groups. I also enjoy my time alone. For example, I just got back from a 3 hour walk. I did it at my own pace, went in the direction I wanted to go. Stopped when I wanted and chatted with some new aquaintances along the way, and that seldom happens if I am walking with someone else. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post AlwaysRt Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 I find I have a bit more difficulty finding them here as compared to the past, probably for the combination of a few things all coming together. Have lost patience with feeling like I have a duty to fill as perpetual 'designated driver' to irresponsible drunks not able to find their way home, wanting to start fights (with locals or SO and getting locked out of the house), and generally being a pain in the ass instead of fun to be around. On the other side, most of the non-drinkers I know are 'friends of Bill' and as such have a schedule to keep and issues they need to discuss with each other about subjects I do not have common experience with. Smoking is the next problem having had a father that chain smoked Camel non-filtered cigarettes and therefore spending my youth with my head in the clouds - of cigarette smoke and volunteered to clean all the ashtrays etc. The smell is instant nausea and headache. HOWEVER, last meetup was with a great bunch of guys who saved me the seat in front of the fan which allowed me to enjoy the conversation without smoke being an issue. VERY much appreciated!!!! And last but not least, a screwed up spine making my former perfect and reliable scheduling to be completly unpredictable, very unlike me and annoying probably to myself even more than others. FB in my group of friends at least, is pretty much a cesspool of political us vs them crap. Neither side listens to the other, just never ending yelling insults at and about each other. Happy to have a few expat forums to interact with generally respectful and funny group of people (not all but mostly). I enjoy coming here to discuss, learn, help, and joke with others. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Glatt Posted June 25, 2017 Posted June 25, 2017 The only bonding friend I've had was a Sgt E-6, bailed me out of El Paso jail after I shot the moon at a police officer as sarge speeded past. Took 4 hours and was very happy to be out of the tank. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gratefuled Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 I have life long friends back home. Here, I have acquaintances. Like Expatuk said, my wife is my one and only friend here. All others are acquaintances. There is a difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I'm friendly to a certain extent. Cordial would be a better word. Meaning, I don't trust just anyone with personal information. I do not invite just anyone to my home. So on and so forth, etc, etc, etc,,,,, 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Queenie O. Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 I'm in the same situation as you Intrepid. I get along pretty well with my husband's family and extended family, and know neighborhood friends but they don't really relate to me on too deep a level. Living out in the province there are not too many foreigners living in my area, and sometimes the ones that you do meet are often couples and not really anyone that I can really connect with. Being that I'm a woman it's harder for me to meet up with other foreigners and be just "one of the boys" for a bit. I find Facebook a way to stay in touch with family and friends, but often we're not on the same wave length anymore. I go there less and less. I read replies here from people that I find quite sensible and approachable, and wish that many of you were close local friends. I know that you're all spread out and not just down the street though. Where are you? Also admittedly I'm rather an introvert, and tend to like my own time, with socializing in smaller doses. My husband has always been my best friend, but living in the Philippines, he is after all a local Filipino, and can't always understand where I'm coming from. I'm hoping that over time living here, fate will connect me with at least one friend that will fill that empty spot that I feel sometimes, and make my experience living here all the richer. I'm just not sure how it will happen.. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gratefuled Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 7 minutes ago, Queenie O. said: I'm hoping that over time living here, fate will connect me with at least one friend that will fill that empty spot that I feel sometimes, and make my experience living here all the richer. I'm just not sure how it will happen.. I read with interest and concern your post. First, I do not think you are a true introvert. You just may not have the same kind of friends that you have back home. It's harder to relate to people here and them to you no matter how friendly you are. Again, and I say this seriously, be careful who you trust here ( or anywhere). A real true blue friend is hard to find. You can have many acquaintances but how many can you really call "friends". ( a rhetorical question) I like you just the way you are. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post mogo51 Posted June 25, 2017 Popular Post Posted June 25, 2017 6 hours ago, AlwaysRt said: I find I have a bit more difficulty finding them here as compared to the past, probably for the combination of a few things all coming together. Have lost patience with feeling like I have a duty to fill as perpetual 'designated driver' to irresponsible drunks not able to find their way home, wanting to start fights (with locals or SO and getting locked out of the house), and generally being a pain in the ass instead of fun to be around. On the other side, most of the non-drinkers I know are 'friends of Bill' and as such have a schedule to keep and issues they need to discuss with each other about subjects I do not have common experience with. Smoking is the next problem having had a father that chain smoked Camel non-filtered cigarettes and therefore spending my youth with my head in the clouds - of cigarette smoke and volunteered to clean all the ashtrays etc. The smell is instant nausea and headache. HOWEVER, last meetup was with a great bunch of guys who saved me the seat in front of the fan which allowed me to enjoy the conversation without smoke being an issue. VERY much appreciated!!!! And last but not least, a screwed up spine making my former perfect and reliable scheduling to be completly unpredictable, very unlike me and annoying probably to myself even more than others. FB in my group of friends at least, is pretty much a cesspool of political us vs them crap. Neither side listens to the other, just never ending yelling insults at and about each other. Happy to have a few expat forums to interact with generally respectful and funny group of people (not all but mostly). I enjoy coming here to discuss, learn, help, and joke with others. This is a mirror for me AlwaysRt., including the back issues. Bars, rarely go, can't stand the smoke either or the boring bullshit that goes with sitting at the bars. I am on Facebook, but only in a limited capacity, for much the same reasons you have alluded to. In a few weeks, I will be sitting in a new location, minus my one good friend from here in Pattaya - a real decent guy and will miss our daily coffee. We both share an interest in the stockmarket and we have had some great discussions since we became really good friends 12 months ago. I am hoping he will visit us in Phils once we have settled. Regarding your back, I swim every day and can recommend it for some relief, it has kept me upright now for many years, I am convinced of that. Also exercises, such as leg raises whilst in the water on side of pool, same with using the body as a 'swing', legs left to right, slightly bent - these all help. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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