Toilet Paper Shortage in the USA!

[Mike J]

9 hours ago, graham59 said:

So nobody uses dried leaves anymore ?  

Hmmmm, maybe I will hang a banana leaf on the wall with a pair of scissors.  

[Dave Hounddriver]

Its really true.  I now live in a sleepy little town on an island on the west coast of Canada.  Today I was down to my last roll of CR tissue so I had to go join the hunt.  Almost every where is sold out due to panic buying.  All stores have a limit on the number of packs you can buy (1 per person or 2 per family is normal) and the signs look funny hanging on empty aisles.

Luckily I found a store that just received a supply so I still do not have to learn the tabo tabo method

[Jack D]

Forget about the tabo and tp, I'm saving up my $'s to buy one of these:

 

[Jake]

As you can see, I just won a major jackpot in Las Vegas.  Should last a few months, unless I pig out on every Taco Tuesday......he, he.  

[Jake]

1 hour ago, Mike J said:

Hmmmm, maybe I will hang a banana leaf on the wall with a pair of scissors.  

Well Mike, excellent choice for that commando wipes on the go.  I have personal experience riding a local bus that went through just about every town and village from Manila to Olongapo.  Two pit stops along the way, with just about everyone running towards the edge of the jungle.  

Banana leaves have that lubricating properties (like aloe) and if you're lucky, the tree will have some bananas that you can eat while you take a dump.  Es mo pun in da Philippines.  

[Jake]

13 hours ago, manofthecoldland said:

The trick is to use a soapy finger or two of the NON-dipper or bum gun hand to pre-lube the bunghole with a skin-protecting soap film  so nothing sticks.......

I personally use any laundry bar soap because it generates more slippery suds and makes your fingers smell "presh na presh".   As far as bending forward and the weird contortion of the elbow as you try to pour the water down your butt crack, it's becoming more difficult at my age.  Hell, I can't even get one leg into my pants without falling over.

 

Long term advantage doing the Filipino tabo-tabo method?  It finally got rid of my "rhoids".  I may die of the Corona virus but my butt will be squeaky clean.......he, he.    
 

[Tommy T.]

16 minutes ago, Jake said:

Long term advantage doing the Filipino tabo-tabo method?  It finally got rid of my "rhoids".  I may die of the Corona virus but my butt will be squeaky clean.......he, he.    

I really prefer the true Japanese-style bidet toilet seat/cover.

It not only provides a heated seat, warmed water and directed flow for both "his" and "hers," but also fanned, directed air dry. It has the control panel so you can pick and choose your favourite options.

They also flush automatically when you stand up, so you really never have to even touch the toilet. How decadent is that?

Of course, they don't give them away... but (or should I say butt?)...

Edited March 15, 2020 by Tommy T.

[Dave Hounddriver]

When I was very young, I am told, my mother used to wipe my butt with my diaper then rinse it in the toilet then throw the diapers in a wash machine.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

Now I am trying to find them old diapers but some idiot must have thrown them out. 

[Arizona Kid]

On 3/14/2020 at 1:13 PM, manofthecoldland said:

In Mel Brooks film 'Blazing Saddles

I like the part when Cleavon Little puts himself under arrest.

[graham59]

Well I hope the Mrs has been using a 'dedicated' piece of soap to wipe her bum-hole on...and not leaving it there for me to wash my face with.