Going Broke Supporting Older Siblings Health Issues

[stevewool]

I know I will get blasted from thy self for hijacking this thread but after reading many post here I came to thinking; are there Filipino forums out there that discuss problems with their "foreigner" family's. :rolleyes:

a very good point, i dont think there is, but does facebook count :thumbsup:

[MikeB]

If you were talking about immediate family, like father/mother, then I would consider them as part of the wife and there should be no problems helping as needed. Besides, when you married, I presume that was part of the package?

Part of the wife? According to my marriage contract I married a singular person, not a package.

[Dave Hounddriver]

Part of the wife? According to my marriage contract I married a singular person, not a package.

Even in the west singular persons come with baggage. Its just different baggage here. But now that I have said that, if the lady wants to leave her baggage outside the door and go with you then you have a winner.

[i am bob]

I know I will get blasted from thy self for hijacking this thread but after reading many post here I came to thinking; are there Filipino forums out there that discuss problems with their "foreigner" family's. :rolleyes:

Continuing with the hijacking of this post...

I googled this and came up with several very interesting forums that do... :mocking: :hystery: :hystery: :hystery: :hystery: :hystery:

[Americano]

I really doubt that Filipinos discuss problems with their foreigner's family because most Filipinos only think about their family. The foreigner's family is not important to them. My first Filipino wife lived for 3 years in America but never met my two sons and didn't show much interest in meeting them or concern about their welfare, but she stayed on the phone with her family in the Philippines and sent money to them every month.

Do you think that if someone in your family needed some money and your wife had some money that she would send the money to them? If you said yes then that is probably just wishful thinking. Do you know of it ever happening?

Edited November 11, 2012 by Americano

[stevewool]

I really doubt that Filipinos discuss problems with their foreigner's family because most Filipinos only think about their family. The foreigner's family is not important to them. My first Filipino wife lived for 3 years in America but never met my two sons and didn't show much interest in meeting them or concern about their welfare, but she stayed on the phone with her family in the Philippines and sent money to them every month.

its the offer way round in our house my wife loves to see my family and my children too, its her family that is hard to get in touch with until the dredded money is wanted, it amazes me could be months till she hears anything then its can we have this and that, its dads birthday if you do this and that we shall send pictures over, no pictures sent but all the money spent, makes me angry but its here family and she does love them

[Call me bubba]

When a man and woman decide to make children its their responsibility to feed, clothe and take care of those children.

And, if they can't take proper care of their children then they shouldn't have them. Its not a child's responsibility to raise another child.

I have discussed this issue in another topic,

althou ITS not our "right" to force our views on their BREEDING HABITS, it should be OUR RIGHT to discuss with them on a level according to their educational or mental status

of how they plan to PLAN THEIR LIVES OUT w/our support.

how will our "support" make their lives better?

how did these ppl exsist before we( walking ATM. rich kano, etc) come into their lives,

we when we lived elsewhere.

Certain expectations where expected when we helped others . either it be our NON RP family or close friend(s),, if they wanted my(your) help.

we had expectations. correct?

if we gave money to someone for school. we expected that was used for school or very directly related for school.

if we gave money to fix their car. we expected that it was to be used to fix.repair or improve the car so it is in a better condtion than before.

SO what is the difference?.

when i (and of course MY SITUATION is not compatible to others) I laid down some "HARSH" according to my X-partner ground rules,, (harsh?? these are the same that I was given from my childhood till now) they did not want to accept them . simply put, it was how will they use my "help" my $$$$ to improve their lives,

they wanted money for health care, Good I would help. BUT they must be responsible to have GOOD HABITS, dont have take care of yourself, then why should I support an unwinnable battle.

. POINT i want to make,,

ITS OUR HARD EARNED MONEY not theirs,,PERIOD,,

we have the right to determine who we will help and how we will help. if they are TRUELY trying to do the best they can under the circumstances,

YES i will help. BUT show me the effort,,

about BREEDING ISSUES,

i offered all of the child bearing age females to be taken to a OB-GYN so she could discuss

PROPER FAMILY PLANNING,, not 1 of them accepted,

if your unable at 1st to make certain ground rules . you may be opening yourself up to more and more $$$ requests,

its your money, its your choice of how you want ,if you wish , to help them,,PERIOD

:508: I will end my post now , :508:

back to the roof top, awaiting evac,

Edited November 11, 2012 by Pittman apartments Sgn

[Thomas]

General:

Much easier to say No to bad people,

but I expect I will get problem to say No to urgent important applies from normal people (other than her parents).

I know I will get blasted from thy self for hijacking this thread but after reading many post here I came to thinking; are there Filipino forums out there that discuss problems with their "foreigner" family's. :rolleyes:

haha.

I suppose not if living in the Philippines,

but if living close to the kano family abroad, then I guess some think about e g many kano children show bad respect for older.

If you were talking about immediate family, like father/mother, then I would consider them as part of the wife and there should be no problems helping as needed. Besides, when you married, I presume that was part of the package?

Part of the wife? According to my marriage contract I married a singular person, not a package.

Isn't she Filipina? :)

LAW says they have to take care of their parents, culture says much more.

Part of the wife? According to my marriage contract I married a singular person, not a package.

Even in the west singular persons come with baggage. Its just different baggage here. But now that I have said that, if the lady wants to leave her baggage outside the door and go with you then you have a winner.

Well. IF her family family has treated her OK/good, then I say the opposite =If her parents have worked very hard to raise her, and have treated her good, but she don't WANT to return anything when she can, then she is a selfish a....e :angry: and it's big risk she will be it towards her husband too...

BUT IF her family has treated her bad, then I agree with you.

If someone want a Filipina, who can skip supporting her family fairly (except grandmother) then I know of one :)

but it's a very sad story:

Abandonded by father when she was a small child.

Sexualy abused when around 10 by mother's new man. Then her mother chosed the man, and kicked her out! :angry:

After that her grandmother took care of her :541:

Married and got children. Went abroad to work to take care of both husband and children finansialy. Then her sister took her husband, and they spread the rumpour the abroad working wife was the cheatening one, although she worked almost allways, to "get reason" they could be together :angry: Came home after some years contract working abroad, to get to know that...

Got a new man. That relation broke when she got pregnant... (I don't know why.) She don't get any pay for that child from the father.

I don't know her any much, but she seem to be basicly a good person, but she hasn't got any good exersise in relations.

But she can with good heart skip bothering about almost all of her relatives...

[MikeB]

Isn't she Filipina? LAW says they have to take care of their parents, culture says much more.

Do you have a source for that? I couldn't find anything current that said such a law had been passed. It was introduced as House Bill 2519 or the "The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents, Senior Citizens, and Elderly Act of 2010”. The verbiage was "protect parents from economic abuse and financial hardships caused by children and grandchildren who have neglected and abandoned them. The court shall take into consideration the financial resources of the child/children and his obligation to maintain his own family before it orders the maintenance and support of the elderly member.”

I don't think that translates to send money every time the phone rings. I believe the intention was for cases of extreme neglect, and only when resources permit.

The OP stated that he cannot afford to help the married, older siblings of his "soon to be" wife. End of story. He could also consider the possibility that he may have some future dependents of his own to support.

[Thomas]

Isn't she Filipina? LAW says they have to take care of their parents, culture says much more.

Do you have a source for that? I couldn't find anything current that said such a law had been passed. It was introduced as House Bill 2519 or the "The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents, Senior Citizens, and Elderly Act of 2010”. The verbiage was "protect parents from economic abuse and financial hardships caused by children and grandchildren who have neglected and abandoned them. The court shall take into consideration the financial resources of the child/children and his obligation to maintain his own family before it orders the maintenance and support of the elderly member.”

I don't think that translates to send money every time the phone rings. I believe the intention was for cases of extreme neglect, and only when resources permit.

The OP stated that he cannot afford to help the married, older siblings of his "soon to be" wife. End of story. He could also consider the possibility that he may have some future dependents of his own to support.

I haven't read the law, because I plan to give some to future parents-in-law anyway, when they retire,

but wasn't it in this forum a kano told his wife was caught by the police, when she kicked out her drunk mother, which had treated the grandchildren bad many times?

"Take care of" isn't same as "send money every time the phone rings" anyway.

In other parts of my answer I wrote I find it EASY to say No to MISBEHAVING relatives as them topic starter write about. That's MUCH DIFFERENT from not following Filipin family assisting culture at all...