Ashanti Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 come up with a way to both limit your exposure to constant request for assistance simple. Just move away . 1 hour or 2 hours away, that can help reduce these "issues" the RP has 7107 islands to choose from . just pick the one they dont live in. that will work short term - but its not the full answer, me think! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 come up with a way to both limit your exposure to constant request for assistance simple. Just move away . 1 hour or 2 hours away, that can help reduce these "issues" the RP has 7107 islands to choose from . just pick the one they dont live in. that will work short term - but its not the full answer, me think! What's the full answer? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashanti Posted November 12, 2012 Posted November 12, 2012 (edited) The way I look at it is, It's a never ending process and there has to be a stop to it! You said, "Especially if youre not around to shield her with their malicious darts!!!"? That's exactly what I mean. If some one has no problem throwing "malicious darts" at us, it's obvious that they don't care about us or otherwise there would be no such darts? Let's say, you did do your shielding once, do you really think that these darts are going to stop? Or get bigger? Where is it going to end? Is it going to end? PS: Notice that You/Her mean one person to me since it's a agreed union of two. Yes, you are correct in both assumptions! Yes, it would never ends, but you can minimise the damage or control the intensity of the blows. Yes, it refers to one person – specifically my mother! Id like to believe everyone is created equal – but that its NOT true and you will be just lying to yourself. Do not forget great power also takes great responsibility. I had long ago accepted that a lot of my extended family is lowlife. To quote someone, “you cannot fix stupid”. The best you could do is minimising the damage. I had also accepted that my mother WILL always look out for her relatives no matter how badly they treated her. It is part of the person she is and part and parcel of why, we as her children loves her. She is a generous person, a good mother and wife. She works hard and sacrifices so much for her children and family so they can have a good life. She also keeps us grounded!!! It is now our turn to look after her. If it makes her happy to help her extended family - so be it! My mother is not stupid – she knows her relatives well as well as her children. She will never turn her back on her relatives if she is able to help them. But she also knows her priority is her children – family. She will not lie to us or con us to help her relatives, rather protect us from her relative’s racket or any profiteering schemes. She is very clear on that – her childrens needs comes first just as she made it abundantly clear to her relatives that they cannot turn her against her children (to her relatives disgust). Therefore, she will never ask me to help her relatives nor will she give her relatives my address or whereabouts. But it would please her if from time to time I do help her relatives without being asked which I sometimes do. I have no problems spoiling my immediate family but they never expected it and are grateful on whatever I gave them. The only time that jarred was when on my 1st visit since coming to the West when my brother asked me to buy him a car as he finds it a nuisance to use public transport. So I just said, “sure, how many dozens you want” to the loud guffaws of my other siblings. And that was that – no more car talk anymore. Although I am generous to my immediate family, unlike Softails’ wife, I never played Lady Bountiful! I made my family understand; that I have now my own family to look after and they will always comes first! And to the extended family at large, I told them I only work as a toilet attendant and my husband is a street cleaner. And that the only reason we can afford to visit the family in PI is to take a bank loan which we will have to pay a hefty interest rate when we come home. Not that they believe met but no matter how they twist my mothers arm to tell them the truth, my mothers pat answer – she doesn’t know anything as I never tell her anything but they can asked my other siblings as I will them more than her. They wouldn’t do that of course – as my siblings are even worse than me. Once, they tried to make me jealous/envious by telling me that so and so wife who is playing Lady Millionaire must have a very rich husband. So I just say, wow, she is so lucky! Unlike me, I search high and low but end up with a poorman. For added measure, I said, do you think she will lend me some money???? I do promise to pay her! :lol: So now it’s a contest of who is the poorest (not that it stop them for trying it on!) :rolleyes: Edited November 12, 2012 by Ashanti 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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