Old School Vs Next Generation

[El Negrito]

Hi guys,

 

I have heard comments that finding a good Filipina woman is more difficult than it was in the past, say 10-20 years ago. Not that it is impossible to find one just more challenging due to scammers, westernization etc.

 

This has lead some to conclude the only way to really be sure (relatively speaking) you are getting a "good girl" is by going and staying 6 months to a year and seeing them in their everyday environment. I think this is very sound advice and in lieu of that, seeing as many can't just up and move like that, the other option would be to take 1-3 months per year for a couple or even several years to get to know them. Or if you work online like me and can save enough go stay for a few months, come back for a few and go again for a few. Honestly if I really wanted to I could up and move and work from there, and it is a future option I am considering but still not sure on yet.

 

Some of you guys have been at this quite a while and have met girls 10-20 years ago maybe and are now in relationships with or know girls of the current generation. I would really like to hear your thoughts and input.

[Coffeehound]

I think that the internet has vastly changed a lot of the dynamics. Unfortunately there is a large scammer population out there. Better to get a girl who wants nothing to do with you at first, like I did.

[El Negrito]

I think that the internet has vastly changed a lot of the dynamics. Unfortunately there is a large scammer population out there. Better to get a girl who wants nothing to do with you at first, like I did.

 

 

Could you expound on your experience? I would love to hear the story of you and your lady.  :thumbsup:

[Coffeehound]

I had never chased a girl in my life until I met the future Mrs. Didn't know that I even had the Romeo gene in me... She was about as interested in me as a meal without rice, until a mutual friend gave her advise that will strike terror into most Filipinas ... "You are not getting any younger"! For me it was the fairy tale love at first sight; not so much for her, but now you couldn't pry her away from me with a crowbar.

I have a niece who ran interference for girls interested in my boys recently. She confided that most of the girls she ran off, she knew where to some degree involved with online scamming on dating sites. It has become very common.

I had never chased a girl in my life until I met the future Mrs. Didn't know that I even had the Romeo gene in me... She was about as interested in me as a meal without rice, until a mutual friend gave her advise that will strike terror into most Filipinas ... "You are not getting any younger"! For me it was the fairy tale love at first sight; not so much for her, but now you couldn't pry her away from me with a crowbar.

I have a niece who ran interference for girls interested in my boys recently. She confided that most of the girls she ran off, she knew where to some degree involved with online scamming on dating sites. It has become very common.

[El Negrito]

She was about as interested in me as a meal without rice, until a mutual friend gave her advise that will strike terror into most Filipinas ... "You are not getting any younger"! For me it was the fairy tale love at first sight; not so much for her, but now you couldn't pry her away from me with a crowbar.

 

Great story! Would be nice to see a pic of you two!  :thumbsup:

[Tukaram (Tim)]

With the internet and all the dating sites scamming has just become so much easier.  They can get a few Western Union boyfriends and they don't need any of us to actually be around in person ha ha.  

 

But I think you still can get a good woman by the same old methods that have always worked.  Get to know someone in your neighborhood, meet girls at church, introductions from friends, strike up a conversation with at a store...  

 

When i first came here it way before the internet.  I was in the Navy and met bar girls only, though.  This time i had a Filpina friend introduce me to one of her friends.  We chatted online for months while I was preparing everything for my move.  Lived together for 18 months, been married for 2 months.  So far she does not seem like a scammer ....or a really patient long scam  :tiphat:

Edited August 23, 2014 by Tukaram (Tim)

[Methersgate]

I am an heretic. I have never been interested in a church going virgin. Give me a woman who has been road tested. It seems to me that girls are much like boys and the wild oats are going to get sown sooner or later. I will always go for a grown up woman who has tried it and who knows that the grass is not greener on the other side.

 

For that reason, I would not rule out bar girls.  The practical downside to a bar girl is not her "moral character" - which may or may not be OK - it is the additional expense, because she almost certainly has a kid by some no-good Filipino babyfather, which is why she is in the bar in the first place, and if you do fall for her you will have to get her right away from there - and I mean a hundred miles physical distance at least - and support her and the kid(s)

[earthdome]

In the province you can find a mix of both. A filipina with a family that still has the old school values but are incorporating things from the new generation into their life. I see my wife and her family as fitting this characterization. They still have the old values but benefit from the new opportunities.

 

My wife's family live in a remote area of the northern Cordillera mountains on Luzon. They have only had electricity for 10 years or so. Their family has lived there for over 100 years and though they look poor they are one of the respected families in the area. They live a life which is a mix of the old ways and new. 5 of 7 children have college degrees. 3 currently or have in the past worked OFW. All the children are adults and my wife was the first to marry and there are no grand children yet.

 

Her mother has a masters in education and has taught at the local school her entire life. Her salary provides cash but they also own their house, some rice terraces, grow some coffee and some other agriculture. They share a great deal with others in their community. My father in law has at times been a local elected official. At the local level in the remote provinces that puts a burden on a family because others in the community always come to them with their problems and requests for help. They currently have two local children they have adopted though there is no paperwork. The children needed a family and they took them in.

 

The family is very proud and have not asked anything of me. Even for our wedding celebration, when everything was done, I only paid about one third of the cost. My wife's family paid about one third and the rest was covered by the money given to us at the wedding from the local community.

 

I have helped some of my wife's siblings in their efforts to get work and that has payed off with 2 of them getting good jobs. One we helped get started OFW the other we helped get call center training and she starts full time next month.

 

My wife has worked OFW and that was one of the things which attracted me to her. Having worked OFW she is a bit more independent, has traveled some internationally and has lived in other cultures. Yet she still retains those strong family values.

 

I met her on a dating website while she was working OFW but we kept things as just friendly chats until we were able to meet in person.

 

Spending significant time with her family will tell you a great deal about the filipina and her family.

[stevewool]

Give my old school any day, manners and politeness  a different way of life that is slowly disappearing

[Coffeehound]

I'd have agree with Methersgate - don't be too fast to rule out a bar girl. Lots of these girls hate what they do; they do it to keep their family from starving. True they can become jaded in a hurry, but if I am to be honest with myself the simple truth is I have likely had more sexual partners than most of them. I spent about 10 years on a bender between losing one wife and finding the Mrs.

A bar girl may simply be much more financial transparent than many others that could have a hidden agenda. If I hadn't been such an ass when I was younger I went though a lot that would have been keepers.