Old School Vs Next Generation

[cebu rocks]

 

the term bar girl is not wide its a girl who works in a bar and is pay for play . This does not have a age . These girls sit around talking about scams and teaching each other every way to do them hooking up with a bar girl is a recipe for heart break   Of every BG romance I would bet 1 of 100 last more than a year or until the money drys up . These girls have a different way of looking at life and If you think you can change them your nuts . Its the I,m going to save this one mentality that sinks most guys .

 

Please accept a Gold Star for Heroic Generalisation of the Week.

 

ok you describe a bar girl to me then ?    

[El Negrito]

Overseas Filipino (Filipina) Worker   Also sometimes OCW - Overseas Contract Worker.   There are probably more women than men working overseas

 

 

Thanks for clearing that up.

[Methersgate]

ok you describe a bar girl to me then ?    

 

A girl who entertains the customers in a bar, and is paid for doing so, by way of tips or a commission on drinks.

Bars vary.

 

"Pay for play" may or may not apply, unless your definition of "play" includes having your beer poured for you.

 

There are hostesses in KTV joints who do no more than that, and I have certainly been in Filipino bars where there is no "bar fine" system; you can "table" a girl, but she won't be leaving the establishment with you, nor is there a room out the back.

 

I have no idea what bar girls talk about amongst themselves, but it seems to me that most of the girls I have chatted to have been single mothers, with no prospect of making a "respectable" marriage and with no means of supporting their child, since there are no creches, whilst others have been students financing their studies. 
 

I agree that setting out to "save" a girl from a Fate Worse Than Death may not be the best idea, and that after a time the lure of easy money, constant male attention and plenty of female companionship may appeal rather more to a girl than the prospect of marriage and kids does, but I  am not going to judge a book by its cover, and I have known instances of young women from impeccable backgrounds who behaved abominably.

[cebu rocks]

I know a ton of BGs and believe me they all fall into the same trap if you are lucky maybe you can find a good one that just started and she will not be totally corrupted

but they fall into the lifestyle very fast ,easy money ,great holidays ,lots of cash,lots of compliments ,idiots falling in love with them and sending cash.

The difference I see here is Bar girl vs hostess or waitress .  I have never heard of a bargirl making a loving devoted wife in the long term . The reason the girls want to work at bars as a waitress is to find a foreigner I know waitresses that have 5 or more foreigners in love with them and sending cash   . I still think is bad advice to say dating a girl who works in a bar could be a good idea . The reality is not the same as fantasy. 

[Methersgate]

I agree that if a girl has worked in a bar for more than a short time, there should be alarm bells going off.

 

I agree that she will have discovered how easy it is to spend the money she makes, and how easy it is to make more. There is also the specific issue of  "shabu" (methamphetamine) use - look for bright eyes, dry skin, loss of weight, heightened activity and sex drive. By and large I think (but I don't know) that it is the baklas who hang on the fringes of the bars who supply it - along with hairdressing and makeup.

I know a few ex bar girls - the ones who were not ruthless enough to become mamasans and who did not get out in time. Sad wrecks living in absolute poverty and terrified of a child falling sick.

 

As I said at the outset if someone does fall for a bar girl - and a great many people have - then the practical advice is to get her well out of it - 100 miles away at least, because you need to get her right out of that environment. And you need to do it fast.

 

I am not inclined to think that a girl who does not work in a bar is necessarily a better prospect.

 

Edited August 23, 2014 by Methersgate

[Methersgate]

Hi guys,

 

I have heard comments that finding a good Filipina woman is more difficult than it was in the past, say 10-20 years ago. Not that it is impossible to find one just more challenging due to scammers, westernization etc.

 

This has lead some to conclude the only way to really be sure (relatively speaking) you are getting a "good girl" is by going and staying 6 months to a year and seeing them in their everyday environment. I think this is very sound advice and in lieu of that, seeing as many can't just up and move like that, the other option would be to take 1-3 months per year for a couple or even several years to get to know them. Or if you work online like me and can save enough go stay for a few months, come back for a few and go again for a few. Honestly if I really wanted to I could up and move and work from there, and it is a future option I am considering but still not sure on yet.

 

Some of you guys have been at this quite a while and have met girls 10-20 years ago maybe and are now in relationships with or know girls of the current generation. I would really like to hear your thoughts and input.

Hell, I married a girl twenty years ago having known her for four.

Divorced her four years ago.

Can't actually see any difference between today's Filipinas and yesterday's Filipinas.

I would like to bring in evidence the novels of F Sionil Jose and Nick Joaquin.

[Coffeehound]

Re: lost her - died in car accident one year after marriage.

Re: bar girls - I was actually thinking more of the hostess type than the pay for play. Sorry if I was not more clear, but my broader point remains the same. That is all adults have baggage be it personal history, kids, ex, ect. My greater concern is moving forward how are you going to treat me, and as always trust is earned not automatically given.

Mind you bar girls are not by any means my recommended hunting ground for a significant other. I'm simply saying I wouldn't be too quick to exclude someone due to past mistakes - Lord knows I've made my share of mine.

[Methersgate]

Re: lost her - died in car accident one year after marriage.

 

So sorry to read that. Must be awful.

"Re: bar girls - I was actually thinking more of the hostess type than the pay for play. Sorry if I was not more clear, but my broader point remains the same. That is all adults have baggage be it personal history, kids, ex, ect. My greater concern is moving forward how are you going to treat me, and as always trust is earned not automatically given."

"Mind you bar girls are not by any means my recommended hunting ground for a significant other. I'm simply saying I wouldn't be too quick to exclude someone due to past mistakes - Lord knows I've made my share of mine."

"A bar girl may simply be much more financial transparent than many others that could have a hidden agenda. If I hadn't been such an ass when I was younger I went though a lot that would have been keepers."

I very much agree with you. If I met a nice girl and she happened to work in a bar I would not rule her out just for that reason; many a nice girl has found herself with no option. It is easy to say "there is always an option" - but I am not so sure that there is. A single mother with a sick child may find her options narrowing very fast.   

Your point on financial transparency is a very good one.

Edited August 23, 2014 by Methersgate

[Americano]

the term bar girl is not wide its a girl who works in a bar and is pay for play . This does not have a age . These girls sit around talking about scams and teaching each other every way to do them hooking up with a bar girl is a recipe for heart break   Of every BG romance I would bet 1 of 100 last more than a year or until the money drys up . These girls have a different way of looking at life and If you think you can change them your nuts . Its the I,m going to save this one mentality that sinks most guys .

 

I just discussed this subject with my wife and she has the same opinion as cebu rocks.  Manilyn said there are some good girls who work in bars but maybe only about one out of every one hundred so her estimate is the same as his.  Her opinion is based on Filipinas that we know. Most are sluts and scammers.

 

A foreigner can be friends with bar girls but I wouldn't go to a bar looking for a future wife.

Edited August 23, 2014 by Americano

[Methersgate]

"Good" girls?

 

What does "good girls" mean?

I am starting to get seriously angry, and it may be that Jolly Goodfellow will ask me to leave this place if I express what I really think of people who speak of "good girls".. 

Stand the question on its head:

 

You had a boyfriend. He told you that if you really loved him you would let him make love to you, or, very possibly, he date raped you after spiking your drink (I have TWO friends that this happened to) and being a good Catholic girl you were innocent of  how babies are made until you found yourself pregnant, You lost your job in a mall. Your boyfriend promised to marry you, but now he has changed his mind. With only one income, you argue. You find yourself in the delivery room of  a public hospital,  on your own, because the man you trusted has disappeared. And he does not come back. You are desperate for money, but you need to take care of a baby. You could dump the baby on your mother, but she lives hundreds of miles away, has no money and is old and infirm. Besides, it would not be fair. Then the baby gets sick and you have a doctor's bill to pay. A friend offers to help - you just have to talk to men and dance sexy. Its terrifying, but you get used to it and you start to make friends with the other girls. The mamasan pushes you to take an "early work release" and the foreign man takes you to a hotel and abuses you - but you have some money now. It happens again... and again... you lose all your friends outside the bar because of the odd hours you work - people see you coming home in the early hours, when the buses don't run, by taxi... you get raped because you are only a bar girl...

You are offered shabu - it helps you to dance and stay awake and it helps you to lose weight and get skinny and sexy...

 

Now some fat foreigner tells you that he loves you - he takes you to Boracay on holiday.,. buys you a new phone ... says he has to go home... and disappears.. it happens again

 

Now tell me that you are going to trust the next guy, just because he tells you that he "loves you..." Or are you going to err on the side of safety and have two or three boyfriends?

Are you a "good girl"?  

I have developed these views because Kor bit my head off when I said I was not happy to see her associating with a woman, mid forties, nose job, who was very obviously to my eyes a Jappayuki. I was firmly told that neither Kor nor I were in any position to judge her and that she supports her entire family, who are neighbours of Kor's parents.

I felt suitably small once Kor had explained that woman's life story and why she, Kor, would talk to her..  

Edited August 24, 2014 by Methersgate