Where do you draw the line

[bigpearl]

Wow, what a diversified topic both on and off topic. Regardless Bengie and I draw the line at a comfort level that does not hinder nor sabotage our relationships longevity. (been there as many have) Communication and boundaries/negotiations to achieve our future are sacrosanct and yes while we may disagree we also resolve very quickly, there are no winners or losers, I am wrong, he is wrong? Who cares if you both aim for the same goals and learn to swallow your pride, the maturity of all comes into play, boundaries/lines are open, set by mature realistic people with a common goal. Whether the dude on the street or your family. We've all been there!

So where do you draw the line? Do you have no lines or boundaries? Are you a dictator or a home maker? Control/submissive or simply in love and work through the every day problems with resolutions that are amenable to all parties? While most of us feel we are in control many other influencing factors throw themselves into the mix, daily, negotiating at the wet market, buying a car or house, why wasn't the dishwasher loaded while I was at work? Why does your family ask for more money? (again) Simple things can be overcome with distinct communication. At the end of the day the boundaries are set by you as a single person or the relationship and trust that you build/have built with you partner.

We have our boundaries which change and are discussed, mostly fortuitous and put to bed. A single man is his own kingdom and dictates. A couple makes a life together for their future and drawing a line, though wiggly at times is a decision made by 2 people.

Cheers, Steve.

[jpbago]

On 6/10/2017 at 9:01 AM, jpbago said:

I fear that one day, the internet will be offline for a length of time.......keep cash on hand.

I was going to write a book about it but, I see that someone has beat me to it. I saw this a day after my post:

http://www.torontosun.com/2017/06/10/could-an-emp-attack-take-down-canada

[Old55]

12 hours ago, robert k said:

I went whale watching once on the streets of Porkland Oregon. I really don't see what the big deal is? Did I misspell that?

Nope, you are 100% correct Bob.

[mogo51]

On 6/10/2017 at 6:30 AM, Gratefuled said:

For those who did not read the original topic.  It was not so much about leaving a tip but to leave it to a waitress who my wife believed did not deserve it. Since I am accustomed to leaving a tip in the states, I did t think twice about it. 

I know  now that in some restaurants here there is a "service charge" added to the bill which I understand now takes the place of a tip. Many Filipinos never ever leave a tip since they are not accustomed to doing it. No one raises an  eyebrow over it. 

To each his own. My wife is free to decide whether or not to leave a tip and how much. Nothing to draw a line about.

The same in Thailand, Thais rarely tip, except the upper class and then not often.  So I follow suit!  I will NEVER leave an additional tip, if there is a service charge, which I think is ridiculous and presumptive.

[Gratefuled]

1 hour ago, mogo51 said:

if there is a service charge, which I think is ridiculous and presumptive.

In the US, many if not most restaurants include a "service charge" if more than one waiter or waitress is assigned to a table. This usually occurs when there are many dinner guests. How many is up to the restaurant. It avoids tipping. 

Another person who will get a tip would be the Chef.

Still another would be the bartender who mixes special drinks for the customers who are dining. 

I'm not sure if the Maitre D gets a tip but if he selects a good table for your dining pleasure he should.

Like for instance if you want a very private romantic place to sit and dine. Maybe you would like a table close to the stage or dance floor. 

Edited June 12, 2017 by Gratefuled

[Jack Peterson]

44 minutes ago, Gratefuled said:

In the US, many if not most restaurants include a "service charge"

As with many Countries now but the Negative side of me Questions just how much of this "Service Charge"  forms part of the Wage structure 

long before the word Service Charge @ a % came to be used the Word "Cover charge" was used in a Figure, in that this covered the tiny bits of Bread and water on the Table.

Once at a Steak house in Wembley (London) We had been to see the "Harlem Globetrotters. my Elder brother asked what is this Cover charge of 1.50 pounds, ( I now find out that this now @ 10% of the Meal Cost & after VAT which is illegal) Oh said the waiter, that is for the Bread and Water. HUH! said our Ray I didn't have any of it. Maybe sir but it was there if you had wanted. Tipping and Service Charges to me are 2 totally different ball games. SC. is given to the Company, Tips go to the Staff in my Book. If we felt So Inclined and I have on Occasions, left an Envelope with the Head man of the Session clearly Marked. Behind Scenes staff only.

[sonjack2847]

2 hours ago, mogo51 said:

The same in Thailand, Thais rarely tip, except the upper class and then not often.  So I follow suit!  I will NEVER leave an additional tip, if there is a service charge, which I think is ridiculous and presumptive.

I don`t like the service charge either.Some places in the UK have started doing this.If I have had good service I will leave a tip but do not take one before you ask,after all it is my money so they do not have a right to expect it.

[Dave Hounddriver]

13 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

Oh said the waiter, that is for the Bread and Water. HUH! said our Ray I didn't have any of it. Maybe sir but it was there if you had wanted.

OK.  That's where you draw the line and say:  "Then I shall charge you 100 pounds for feeling up my well endowed daughter.  And the waiter will say he did not do that.  You reply:  But she was here if you had wanted."

[Jack Peterson]

9 minutes ago, sonjack2847 said:

.If I have had good service

Way back, in Manila the Hotel we  stayed at a Hotel that catered mainly for Koreans, when checking out I asked why a 12% service charge? why this I asked, well sir it is for the Services that were provided.  What extra services? No sir the service of the Chambermaids, Repairmen and things OH!  I see so  now You charge me for the things I have already paid for in the Room rate? Blank face with a Shoulder shrug but it goes to show that at least Hotels do use the Service charge in the Wage Structure Bad, Bad I say

[jpbago]

4 minutes ago, Jack Peterson said:

Way back, in Manila the Hotel we  stayed at a Hotel that catered mainly for Koreans, when checking out I asked why a 12% service charge?

23% is now added to the room rate. I don't know if it VAT or service charge plus VAT.