Finding a girlfriend....

[robert82897]

I'm thinking seriously of semi-retiring to the Philippines in the next year or so.  I'm late 40s but have enough business income and savings to retire early.  I can probably budget about USD 4000 per month there.

I'd like to find a beautiful young (20s) girlfriend, but the problem is that I don't want marriage or kids. I've been there and done that. 

I don't want to mislead anyone about my intentions, so I was thinking of offering an allowance, with the understanding that if the girl wants to get married she will have to move on. I'm focusing on younger women who still have some time before they need have kids.

I signed up on the  website and found a lot of very beautiful young girls who seem to be very interested in this kind of arrangement.  I told then I could give 16,000 pesos a month, paid as 4000 weekly, but I could only pay it while I was in the country and with them.  I told them I need to return to the US for my business and to see my kids, so I might only be there every other month or so, and I cannot give them the allowance when I'm not there.  They seemed ok with this.  I guess 16K is about what they could earn in a full time job in a call center or something, so it's not bad.  And of course, I would also give her a nice life while she was with me.  I'm not a bad person, I just don't want to get married again and especially don't want more kids. I'm already paying enough child support.  I might get a vasectomy before coming there.

I'd tell the girl that I will give the allowance but that's all I can give.  I don't want to get involved with or supporting her family.  I figure if she starts pressuring me for more, I can just leave and look for someone new with the same arrangement.

Just wondered if anyone here has any thoughts or experience with something like this?  Does it seem like a good idea?

 

Thanks for any help!

 

Robert

 

Edited June 2, 2022 by Mike J
Removed name of website

[Dave Hounddriver]

2 minutes ago, robert82897 said:

Does it seem like a good idea?

I knew a guy who did almost exactly this.  The problem was:  The 18 year old, naïve,  beautiful young girl did not believe him when he told her about his intentions.  She fell in love.  When he told her she had to move on, she took rat poison to kill herself.  It took her a week to die.  The entire community was looking to string up this foreigner who would do that to a naïve young girl.  He skipped the country, but she was still dead.  I have no respect for someone who would do that.

On the other hand, if you want to hire a bar girl as a companion it is quite common.  That might cost you more than P4,000 weekly but you could possible make a deal there.

[Old55]

What you're looking for is not a Girl Friend. 

[BrettGC]

To cut to the core, you're looking for a paid "girl friend experience";  You're paying for companionship and sex that can be turned on and off at your whim, but a longer term arrangement than usual.  I'm sure it's achievable but human emotion will eventually come into play unless you do come to an arrangement with a hard nosed, pragmatic woman or bar girl.  And even then...  I'm not sure non-working girls would be happy with the arrangement for too long given how it would look to their families and friends.  

I know a couple of guys that have done this with women that weren't bar girls and in both cases it ended badly, not as extreme as @Dave Hounddriver's example, but it wasn't pretty.  

 

Edited June 2, 2022 by BrettGC

[Jollygoodfellow]

2 hours ago, robert82897 said:

Just wondered if anyone here has any thoughts or experience with something like this?  Does it seem like a good idea?

Nope, its a paid business arrangement and you will probably be used to the limit. You could easily find a real girl without having to make this type of arrangement. If you go this way and not want to pay her while your not here what do you think she will be doing while your away? 

[BrettGC]

20 minutes ago, Jollygoodfellow said:

 If you go this way and not want to pay her while your not here what do you think she will be doing while your away? 

My thought exactly.  Assuming the OP doesn't want her working while he's here, she'd have to give up her job and have no income on the month "off".  

[Snowy79]

Welcome to the forum Robert and what an introduction lol. I'm sure you will have no issues finding what you are looking for but as many will testify you are going to get a bar type girl or someone so naive she thinks she will change you and may end up getting hurt. 

Most of the regular commentors here are living good lives with their partners and very happy but I've seen many arrangements like what you are after and even have a Chinese friend who has a harem of girls, he's actually a decent guy but I shake my head at his arrangements, I've known him for about 3yrs and he must have over 20 girls plus a long term girlfiend for over 19yrs. Many of the girls have met each other and at times holidayed with him and other girls, sex isn't his motive as he has medical issues and doesn't even have sex with his long term partner, for him he wants to be in the company of pretty girls as he has one life.

Many guys if they were honest with themselves are doing similar and are in denial. I see and talk to a few girls here all married or in long term relationships with older guys, the majority are doing it out of necessity and are honest enough to admit when their partner dies they will use what they have to find their true love, it beats living with the family in a shack and struggling each day so I can't knock them. The majority of them even though doing it out of necessity stay loyal to their partner but others are still playing the game. 

Just be wary that you could be falling into a trap and end up with a kid to support, many girls here are more street wise than we give them credit for, I'm still finding out new stuff about my ex.

[expatuk2014]

Are you serious ? I wont repeat the words my Filipina wife said when she read your post !

But from me Filipino woman need respect and not a fly by night boyfriend !

[softail]

These ladies arn’t rental units, are not animals, they are people. How can anyone talk about human being’s like this. 

[Freebie]

Sir, if you come here you will see how things are. The reality is anyone will say anything on internet when money is potentially involved.

You can find the type of arrangement that you want but somewhere along the way, feelings will come into things and then things get messy.

Fair few folk on this board are married, happily or otherwise or have live ins  and perhaps dont see things any more from a single mans perspective. 

I have an outstanding situation with a lady significantly younger than myself. Twice a year I will go off on solo travels ( Namibia, UK, Vietnam, Cambodia, Patagonia ) for several weeks. She will stay in my condo as we live together . I will leave money so she can spend it on food clothes etc and shes very frugal and good with budgeting.

Twice or three times a year she will go to her province and see her family and again I provide an allowance for her costs when shes  there. I get my single life for a few weeks twice or three times a year and no questions are asked, nor does she ever look or try to look at my cellfone etc.

And then twice a year we will go on travels to various islands here together... we're about to go to Dumaguete and Siquijor for 5 weeks.

We live together but arent always together., which I enjoy.  When she needs money I provide but its not a situation whereby I provide a set amount weekly/monthly.. I just help her when she wants/needs something or when she has costs. During our time together I ensure I pay her Philhealth, SSS, have got her ATM and credit card and Gcash, phones , tablet, pc etc and make sure she knows shes safe and funded if theres an emergency .

We enjoy our life together as bf/gf and its certainly not a paid arrangement and we both know if we ever have enough of each other the door will open .

She knows I will never marry again as to me thats a prison without bars. The single, non married life is the only life I want. So my arrangement to me is perfect. 

But I probably had to be with 50 plus girls in first few years I was here to figure out what I wanted and to find someone who I wanted to be with most of the time rather than just some of the time.  Life is good , but you have to be here and date various girls face to face to see whether you want the type of arrangement you are seeking or some other arrangement.  I

f you find someone with similar values explore places and time spent together. Better to start slow and build things up than by presenting a contract that states in return for this , this must happen. That would probably turn many ladies off.  Wish you good luck... you will certainly find there are a great many twists and turns on your journey... this country can eat up newbies who dont know the environment regardless of how well they think they have planned things.