ekimswish Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 My wife thinks my idea of a great surprise is when she spends money on things we can't afford and I would've said "no" to, because after she's gone ahead and done it, I'm going to be happy at how great it all turned out. Then she wonders why I'm upset, and uses that to justify why she didn't tell me in the first place. I tell her that I'm upset because she didn't tell me. If she never lied to me in the first place, I wouldn't be as angry. But she just says, Oh you got angry, so I just won't tell you next time...... WHAT?! The answer to our problem is the problem itself apparently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Hounddriver Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Surprise! Welcome to married life. Don't worry. The good outweighs the bad most of the time. I taught my second wife how to keep a budget but it was a heck of a lot of work because all humans tend to fight against budgets.So tell her she can spend any money she wants, on anything she wants, but there is a condition. She must tell you what part of the budget will be reduced to compensate for her spending. Then stick to it. I used to have a huge chart on the bedroom wall that detailed every incoming penny and where it was budgeted for. Then, when the wife wanted to spend money she had to show how the budget would balance when her spending was finished. It took 3 years for her to learn but she did learn. The bad side is, 3 years after relaxing the tight reins on the budget she went back to her old ways and we ended up bankrupt. Its a tough job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
softail Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 When they start lying and sneaking around behind your back its time to get a new wife. It shows that they have no respect for you and will only get worse.Doug Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) We've been married now for 22 yrs! When we lived in the U.S., I always had control of our finances and we always had a joint account, but I was the one who always used our account to pay all our bills via mail or on-line even though she can too. Every month I’ve always gave her a spending allowance for herself and our monthly grocery shopping money she always have with her whenever we went grocery shopping on a weekly basis, I never go with her into the supermarket whenever we go grocery shopping, because I‘m a compulsive shopper and you know how that goes, so no, I don‘t go in with her, I'm just her chauffeur for the day! Now we have lived here in the Philippines going on 13 yrs now and we still use the same system in managing our monthly budget! We have never argued about money ever since we got married! All’s well that ends well! We’re both content with our retirement lifestyle here in the Philippines! So, no surprises here! Our relationship always been based on trust, love and respect for one another! Maybe it’s because we’re both Fil/Ams and truly understand one another! Also, it's just fair to mention, that we weren't blessed with having any children, but my wife have 2 nephews and 1 niece here in Philippines that are close to us who send their spring and summer school breaks with us every year,! They just left a few days ago with school supplies and bags in hand, because school will start up again in just a few days in their home province! At least, they all had a great time with us and they all learned to swim in our community pool! They're a bunch of nice and well behaved kids! Edited June 7, 2011 by Art2ro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 Ohh yeah.....the word "budget" simply does not register. Even approaching our 26th anniversary, I often times give my wife a chance to feel the results of monthly defaults. For example, in spite of my warnings, the electricity is cut off all of the sudden. Setting financial priorities seems too difficult. Another example of poor handling of budget is time management. In most cases, planning in general is too alien and totally unnecessary for her. It's a work in progress, even after all these years........I get no respect sometimes -- Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Call me bubba Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 and thats your problems? wooo you have it so easy,my partner quit her work a few months before birth so She could be rested.healthy.NOW 20 months later, 17months after birth she still doesnt want to work. altho her income would only be $10-15 a day, it would be very helpful.. And when asked what work she will do,. she wants to travel over 45km back to manila . well again you think you have problems, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjp52 Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 My wife just informed me that she purchased 2 anti glare screens. One for the computer and the other for the tv. When I told her that she paid too much for them ( 1800 and 3500 pesos ) she got all hurt and defensive and went quiet. Filipina,s are very sensitive women, Fortunately they are very sweet and loving also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) When they start lying and sneaking around behind your back its time to get a new wife. It shows that they have no respect for you and will only get worse.Doug BRUCE!!!!!Put down the jokes and back away s l o w l y...... It is just way too easy and is not sportsman like...... Damn! I am hearing voices again. Guess it is time to triple up on my meds...... Edited June 7, 2011 by Kuya Lee repair quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Call me bubba Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 My wife just informed me that she purchased 2 anti glare screens. One for the computer and the other for the tv. When I told her that she paid too much for them ( 1800 and 3500 pesos ) she got all hurt and defensive and went quiet. Filipina,s are very sensitive women, Fortunately they are very sweet and loving also.why do they do these things?? they KNOW your not rich. or a bank YET THEY do such things.i tried communicating, it works sometimes or just for a few minutes.. TO those who were married to WHITE women. do they the same thing(sh,,t)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 My wife just informed me that she purchased 2 anti glare screens. One for the computer and the other for the tv. When I told her that she paid too much for them ( 1800 and 3500 pesos ) she got all hurt and defensive and went quiet. Filipina,s are very sensitive women, Fortunately they are very sweet and loving also.why do they do these things?? they KNOW your not rich. or a bank YET THEY do such things.i tried communicating, it works sometimes or just for a few minutes.. TO those who were married to WHITE women. do they the same thing(sh,,t)? I was married to a white woman (thank God I am no longer married to her) and she spent more in a week than my lovely current wife spends in a year, so while we do not always communicate 100%, I had the same problem with my last wife who was American, so it is a woman/man thing and when you add the cultural issue into the mix, you get more misunderstandings. So I ask you guys who are having problems, why not give the money weekly, set up two online accounts and transfer the money into yours and then go online and move a weeks worth to their, that is if that is not what you are already doing. I found that worked better with the nieces and nephews I sent to college, so it should work better with the wives as well. Put them on a strict budget, if they spend more, then they will have nothing to use for other expenses. I am happy to say that is not the problem with my present wife since I give her full control over the checkbook when we live in the Philippines, and I take care of the US part, yet she makes me aware of all expenditures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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