Dowry?

[Curley]

:unsure: Wow! This is Quite a revelation, I asked my Wife about it, she tells me that in the Hills and poorer areas it still happens. mmm Well, I had never heard of it, maybe in Thailand and India but never here. Any way, have a look at what Chan Robles has to say on it. It would appear that it is not always just a ONE OFF payment, he Quotes monthly payments for a number of years. Not for me I fear, if the Girl or the mother won't yield, move on is my answer. I have a friend who would never Admit to this but we have always said, there was more to the marriage than met the eye. Nice new Small holding the In-Laws-Have

The one thing he quotes from a Supreme Court Ruling, it is a legally binding agreement between the male and the family.

Looks like you would indeed be marrying the family. You really will become their ATM. :no: What ever happened to marrying for love I wonder.

Jack P. :tiphat:

How many marriages are made in the name of love? Lust.... probably more although with the stigma of sex before marriage almost gone, lust is probably not such a factor any more. Take a look at the attitude of Parents if the girl has a wealthy boyfriend or one with a good job...... they are usually very keen for the marriage to go ahead. Yep, money counts.

Lets Quote our Grand Parents Thoughts and sayings. " MARRY in haste and relent in leisure" come on Curley, you know it makes sense. This is a get rich Quick scheme, I have not known you that long but I can tell, you are beyond this. :thumbsup:

Please don't be a statistic, be the man that said NO!

We all know that the PI family can be overruling But this is Just taking the P....s!

If she is for real, let her make the decision. ??????? She makes her bed, let her Lay on it. Harsh but honest words here my friend.

Jack P. :)

Don't worry Jack, I have already emphatically said NO. However I have also said that if she wanted to come and live with me and not marry for just over 4 years with no support for the family then I would do it BUT any going back on her word and it would be goodbye.

[Jack Peterson]

:unsure: Wow! This is Quite a revelation, I asked my Wife about it, she tells me that in the Hills and poorer areas it still happens. mmm Well, I had never heard of it, maybe in Thailand and India but never here. Any way, have a look at what Chan Robles has to say on it. It would appear that it is not always just a ONE OFF payment, he Quotes monthly payments for a number of years. Not for me I fear, if the Girl or the mother won't yield, move on is my answer. I have a friend who would never Admit to this but we have always said, there was more to the marriage than met the eye. Nice new Small holding the In-Laws-Have

The one thing he quotes from a Supreme Court Ruling, it is a legally binding agreement between the male and the family.

Looks like you would indeed be marrying the family. You really will become their ATM. :no: What ever happened to marrying for love I wonder.

Jack P. :tiphat:

How many marriages are made in the name of love? Lust.... probably more although with the stigma of sex before marriage almost gone, lust is probably not such a factor any more. Take a look at the attitude of Parents if the girl has a wealthy boyfriend or one with a good job...... they are usually very keen for the marriage to go ahead. Yep, money counts.

Lets Quote our Grand Parents Thoughts and sayings. " MARRY in haste and relent in leisure" come on Curley, you know it makes sense. This is a get rich Quick scheme, I have not known you that long but I can tell, you are beyond this. :thumbsup:

Please don't be a statistic, be the man that said NO!

We all know that the PI family can be overruling But this is Just taking the P....s!

If she is for real, let her make the decision. ??????? She makes her bed, let her Lay on it. Harsh but honest words here my friend.

Jack P. :)

Don't worry Jack, I have already emphatically said NO. However I have also said that if she wanted to come and live with me and not marry for just over 4 years with no support for the family then I would do it BUT any going back on her word and it would be goodbye.

Well, it sounds as if you have put the ball firmly in her court, There will be NO Dowry from a Pinoy, so if she wants a Good Life, she has to sit and think Hard about the Alternatives.

Whatever my friend, I hope it all works out for you, One way or the Other. :dance:

Jack P. :thumbsup:

[cebu rocks]

if you have said NO just wait it out a bit . its really up to her at this point she can say no to Mama if she really wants to. Although a very hard thing for a young girl to do .

my better half made the choice between the family or myself and i was impressed at her courage to stand up to mama . Mama will always be the boss until she stands up to her and sets new rules ( I,m the boss of my new family) . Mama still tries to get whatever she can but the demands have slowed down now she tries to ask .

If you took her virginity you better just pay and make sure its explained ONE TIME ONLY PERIOD . After that you will be the one to care for your new wife .

good luck walking away from this if Papa finds out she not a virgin anymore .

[Curley]

if you have said NO just wait it out a bit . its really up to her at this point she can say no to Mama if she really wants to. Although a very hard thing for a young girl to do .

my better half made the choice between the family or myself and i was impressed at her courage to stand up to mama . Mama will always be the boss until she stands up to her and sets new rules ( I,m the boss of my new family) . Mama still tries to get whatever she can but the demands have slowed down now she tries to ask .

If you took her virginity you better just pay and make sure its explained ONE TIME ONLY PERIOD . After that you will be the one to care for your new wife .

good luck walking away from this if Papa finds out she not a virgin anymore .

Two things.....

1 I did not take her virginity, she gave it willingly.

2 How would you guarantee that the ONE TIME ONLY explanation would be accepted and adhered to by Mama?

[gapotwo]

I you are gonna ran, do it quickly and quietly... you dont want to get caught by the families outreach program..with their low tech BOLO. chop chop chop. pay up or bail out real soon. it can and will get very nasty....remember your foreign status in the philippines. Just my advise..... tanks ej.

[sonjack2847]

One thing to remember Curley is the new law about kids looking after parents. I know it is not supposed to affect kanos but her mother could still make demands on her. It must be a very difficult time for you at the moment and it is easy to say walk away but I think I would walk away. Maybe you will hurt for now but it is better than a possible life of misery.

Good luck Mate

Kevin

[billten]

I would probably agree but to live well away from family with no prospect of marriage till she's 25

Curley, it seems to me that you could give lessons to many people who come here. Sad time, but definitely the best decision ATM

[Jake]

Has anyone else been hit for a dowry demand in the Philippines? Briefly, a well brought up Catholic girl, educated, never had a boyfriend before, I met the parents 3 times, got on well, they were all in favour, allowed her to come on holiday with me for 3 weeks, planning to move to Philippines in May/June and to get married soon after. She has been a little "down" the last couple of weeks, yesterday it all came out.... her parents (read Mother) are demanding 500,000 "present" before the wedding and no more staying together till after the wedding.

I'm sorry Curley for your untimely predicament. I have discussed this with my fellow Pinoys and my wife about this dowry thing.

All of them agreed that it's unheard of among Tagalog people, which is mostly Christian. Further research revealed that this

practice is common among the Muslim community.

You've been taken for a ride, not necessary by your GF but by her mother. Walk away, my friend.....walk away.

Respectfully -- Jake

[gapotwo]

The word is not Dowry, its Pikot. Like got you hook line and sinker, on dry ground. Now that you have tasted the goods, its time to pay up.I personally would not want to live there , having a monkey on your doorstep, and having to watch my back everywhere i go. thats a big loose face situation for her family. and word gets around fast. Curley im not attacking you or striking you down in any way. i just feel for you and the situation your in.. unless she releases mama grip on her , which i dont think will happen, you will be paying the rest of your life. i usually dont agree on bailing on responsabillity but this sounds like an excemption... good luck brah! wish you the best. tanks ej.

[Curley]

One thing to remember Curley is the new law about kids looking after parents. I know it is not supposed to affect kanos but her mother could still make demands on her. It must be a very difficult time for you at the moment and it is easy to say walk away but I think I would walk away. Maybe you will hurt for now but it is better than a possible life of misery.

Good luck Mate

Kevin

Yes, this new law ought to be regarded very carefully by all foreigners looking at marrying Fillipinas. It could have very grave consequences. I've worked long and hard for my little pile and I don't intend to have it sucked out of me, no matter how pretty the lady is.

Edited April 11, 2012 by Jollygoodfellow