Finding The Right Filipina For You

[Vince Runza]

Preface
I was inspired to write this because, for the umpteenth time on an expat-in-the-Philippines forum, some guy wanted help in dealing with a Filipina who's giving him problems. These problems are usually apparent from the start, but the guy, for whatever reason, decided he'd 'cope' with it, because she's so lovely/loving/hot/etc. Instead of telling Ms. Troublemaker, "Next!", and moving on, he settles for less-than-the-best as his mate. The reasons for this are actually important. Usually, it's a guy who got 'trained' by Western women, who feel entitled to make a man jump through hoops before she'll 'let him' into her life.

For those of you in a happy relationship, congratulations! For those of you in a lousy relationship, it's your fault. For those of you looking for a great relationship, this is for you.
Dump the Old Rules
Even if you're not likely to move to the Philippines, you need to unburden yourself of the programming that Western women have perpetrated on mankind. That means you do the hard work of proving yourself, and she decides if you're good enough for her. You must be her Knight in Shining Armor. Forget all that!

New rule: You Are The Prize. You grovel to no one, including Hot Babes. You decide if she is good enough for you.

Imagine, if you will, you are a Hot Babe. Every single day of your life, if you venture out of doors, you will be approached by men. All of these men want you, sexually. You are the object of unrequited love. Fights break out over you. Gifts are laid at your feet. Shopping at the mall becomes a chore because every dumbass and his brother is going to hit on you. Stopping off for a drink at a bar is dangerous, because the amount of free liquor offered to you would put you in the hospital or AA. Wearing what you think is a cute outfit is perceived as provocative by men and slutty by women. In short, you are the center of attention, in your reality.

Guys on the ground in the Philippines will tell you that Western men are a hot commodity. Never mind about your 'flaws'. If you have no desire to hook up with a celebrity, bikini model, or beauty queen, you probably don't even need to spruce up your appearance. What you MUST do is spruce up your attitude. Begin by dumping the attitude that you must measure up to her.
Screening Out the Undesirables
If you are not a competitive edge junkie, who needs to be with the hottest girl around, you'll probably want to avoid celebrities, bikini models, and beauty queens. They're undesirable because they attract too much attention from too many guys.

If you're a decent man, with a bit of money for your retirement, you want a woman you think is lovely (inside and out), smart, caring, and sexually available to you (and only you). What you don't want is a woman who has problems you don't want to deal with. This includes behaviors, traits, and practices that are accepted in the Philippines, but drive you crazy. So, how do you screen out the ones that don't fit?
Meet a Lot of Women
I believe I read somewhere that many (if not most) men end up marrying the sixth woman they dated. You have to break out of that pattern! Meet and date dozens of them. These don't have to be expensive dinners at fine restaurants. In fact, you don't have to pay one centavo to spend some time with a prospect. All you have to do is realize that, given the chance, women will do whatever it takes to spend time with you, if they find you attractive to themselves.

Let's suppose you don't have a lot of (recent) experience in meeting women, with the objective of moving beyond acquaintanceship. In fact, let's say you're outright scared of the idea of doing an approach. I have a mission for you, no matter where you are in the World. I want you do go out, and, in the next five days, say 'Hi' to 50 women. Doesn't matter if they're married, single, Lesbian, ugly, or whatever. Just greet them. You're not looking to start up a conversation. You're just saying, 'Hi', and observing their reaction.

Once you realize that you won't melt down, or be pepper sprayed, a funny thing happens. You begin to realize that you no longer fear women. They're just people. Since they're just people, you have every right to expect the woman you choose as a mate to be a good person for you.

That''s all for now. I'll see how the board reacts to this, before I wade into the details of moving beyond, 'Hi'.

Edited November 18, 2015 by Vince Runza

[Methersgate]

Well, I think this is very promising. I will certainly encourage you to continue.

 

You have nicely put your finger on the girl shyness problem.

 

There are a number of joky-flirtatious "lines" that one can use to talk to ladies that one meets in the Philipines; one of my favourites, which and elderly but gwapo and wealthy (and very happily married) friend used on every passing waitress and check out girl who was attractive is "Are you married?" If "yes Sir" the reply is ""what a pity" and if " No Sir" you can take it from there (he said "sadly, I am!")  

[Vince Runza]

"Are you married?"

Even better, "Are you single?" Field tested and approved!

[bows00]

If you are not a competitive edge junkie, who needs to be with the hottest girl around, you'll probably want to avoid celebrities, bikini models, and beauty queens. They're undesirable because they attract too much attention from too many guys

Shucks man! But what do you do if you want one of these?

[Jake]

Preface

I was inspired to write this.........

That''s all for now. I'll see how the board reacts to this, before I wade into the details of moving beyond, 'Hi'.

Hello Vince,

 

A very interesting read sir.  Please continue.....you kind of remind me of Dear Abby crossed with George Carlin!  I really like your style -- I'm also a student of fluent sarcasm.......he, he.  

 

Respectfully -- Jake

[Hey Steve]

 

Preface

I was inspired to write this.........

That''s all for now. I'll see how the board reacts to this, before I wade into the details of moving beyond, 'Hi'.

Hello Vince,

 

A very interesting read sir.  Please continue.....you kind of remind me of Dear Abby crossed with George Carlin!  I really like your style -- I'm also a student of fluent sarcasm.......he, he.  

 

Respectfully -- Jake

 

Oh, I agree Jake...

Vince, I'll bet you are fun to be around-and a good sense of humor at that as well. You know my wife is gwapa and I am maot (IMO) but it all worked out in the end. My instruction manual upon arrival in the Philippines must be outdated though-but my lady is old fashioned so, I chalk that up to just plain good luck. :cheersty:

[Mike J]

"Are you married?"

I have had Filipinas ask me that on multiple occasions even though I wear a wedding ring.  It is also common to hear "Sir, where is your wife?".  One young lady wanted to "join me" while having lunch at Ayala.  I told her that would not be a good idea as I was waiting while my wife was shopping.  I then said that the last time I sat with a Filipina, my wife chased her with a bolo.  Not true of course, but she left in a hurry.  :lol:

[Vince Runza]

Shucks man! But what do you do if you want one of these?

Then you need to do what I did. I upped my Game. Up yours~! :crack-up:

[Vince Runza]

A very interesting read sir. Please continue.....you kind of remind me of Dear Abby crossed with George Carlin! I really like your style -- I'm also a student of fluent sarcasm.......he, he.

[Vince Runza]

Vince, I'll bet you are fun to be around-and a good sense of humor at that as well. You know my wife is gwapa and I am maot (IMO) but it all worked out in the end. My instruction manual upon arrival in the Philippines must be outdated though-but my lady is old fashioned so, I chalk that up to just plain good luck.

Never underestimate the value of dumb luck! Had to Google maot. You're not ugly --  if that's your real picture in the profile. I could be wrong. Was this true?