Negative Vibes

[Jack Peterson]

 

 Sometimes we should put ourselves (in thought) back to our own familiar surroundings in a Country we can Understand and ask Honestly. How many times, have we said to ourselves and maybe others.? HUH look at that (Foreigner, from any country you choose.) Comes here gets a

Good job in front of one of our own, Builds a big house and can Afford a new car. Then lets look at this from the perspective of the Filipino,

It is the way it is where ever we are. The Foreigner is always a target. Western or Asian Both are Foreigners at some time or the Other.

 

Having said that I think we can all have a rant about things we don't like, I gave up Fighting the Culture thing but still can never understand the Time thing and the never trying to learn from Mistakes. and the sometimes Acid remarks when we say Told you so.

 

Jack  :tiphat:

Great point, Jack.  I've often used the analogy of me and my buddies hanging out in our local dive back in the US, and some guy pulls in with a Mercedes.  We are all average Joe's and he walks in with a suit and nice car.  What would we do?  We would want to see what he is all about.  We wouldn't hate him immediately, and we would certainly give him a chance to prove himself.  The difference is that I'm rarely granted that small level of respect here.    

 

 Larry, I know where you are on this but at least we can agree the it is not just here.  :thumbsup:  Not too sure I want to get into the Respect thing as this Goes Both ways, there are days I feel. I don't give the Respect I should, so how can I deserve/expect it back.

 

Jack :)

[Larry45]

 

 

 Sometimes we should put ourselves (in thought) back to our own familiar surroundings in a Country we can Understand and ask Honestly. How many times, have we said to ourselves and maybe others.? HUH look at that (Foreigner, from any country you choose.) Comes here gets a

Good job in front of one of our own, Builds a big house and can Afford a new car. Then lets look at this from the perspective of the Filipino,

It is the way it is where ever we are. The Foreigner is always a target. Western or Asian Both are Foreigners at some time or the Other.

 

Having said that I think we can all have a rant about things we don't like, I gave up Fighting the Culture thing but still can never understand the Time thing and the never trying to learn from Mistakes. and the sometimes Acid remarks when we say Told you so.

 

Jack  :tiphat:

Great point, Jack.  I've often used the analogy of me and my buddies hanging out in our local dive back in the US, and some guy pulls in with a Mercedes.  We are all average Joe's and he walks in with a suit and nice car.  What would we do?  We would want to see what he is all about.  We wouldn't hate him immediately, and we would certainly give him a chance to prove himself.  The difference is that I'm rarely granted that small level of respect here.    

 

 Larry, I know where you are on this but at least we can agree the it is not just here.  :thumbsup:  Not too sure I want to get into the Respect thing as this Goes Both ways, there are days I feel. I don't give the Respect I should, so how can I deserve/expect it back.

 

Jack :)

 

No question about that.....respect goes both ways.   The problem is that Filipinos hold a different view of 'respect'.  I could get everyone's respect in our compound by having a party....by spending money on them.  Seems that's the only way to get respect here.  I do have real friends here, and that's the happiest part of my life.  Having a real convo with Filipinos that are different from the rest.....excellent.  

 

Anyways, this will just be a rant thread for me and anyone else.  I will respond to normal posts with a positive attitude, because that's what I want.  But, the negative side is always there, and to be delusional is absurd.     :unsure:

Edited November 21, 2015 by Larry45

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Great point, Jack. I've often used the analogy of me and my buddies hanging out in our local dive back in the US, and some guy pulls in with a Mercedes. We are all average Joe's and he walks in with a suit and nice car. What would we do? We would want to see what he is all about. We wouldn't hate him immediately, and we would certainly give him a chance to prove himself. The difference is that I'm rarely granted that small level of respect here.

 

I don't see it as racist at all - just the crab mentality.  They treat other Filipinos the same way.From my (albeit limited) experience I don't see it as much in the wealthier Filipinos, mostly in the poor. Not all, certainly, but enough.  Instead of being inspired by other's success they are jealous and vindictive.  Seems to be what they are taught.   I just try and ignore it.

[RonHenk]

I could get everyone's respect in our compound by having a party....by spending money on them. Seems that's the only way to get respect here.

 

I agree with you Larry. But that's only going to BUY you respect until the last lumpia is gone. Have you given any thought to perhaps doing something for the community? Like donating school supplies to the local school? (It doesn't have to be much. $20 for pencils and paper can go a long way) Or perhaps your time? One hour a week helping the kids to understand English. Little things like this can go a long way in gaining the respect of the entire community as well as making YOU feel a part of it. Just a thought to consider.

 

Ron

[Larry45]

 

Great point, Jack. I've often used the analogy of me and my buddies hanging out in our local dive back in the US, and some guy pulls in with a Mercedes. We are all average Joe's and he walks in with a suit and nice car. What would we do? We would want to see what he is all about. We wouldn't hate him immediately, and we would certainly give him a chance to prove himself. The difference is that I'm rarely granted that small level of respect here.

 

I don't see it as racist at all - just the crab mentality.  They treat other Filipinos the same way.From my (albeit limited) experience I don't see it as much in the wealthier Filipinos, mostly in the poor. Not all, certainly, but enough.  Instead of being inspired by other's success they are jealous and vindictive.  Seems to be what they are taught.   I just try and ignore it.

 

That's definitely a better handle on it, Tim.  But there's an aspect of the culture here that treats foreigners differently.   Almost a sociopathic mentality that's hard to adjust to.   Am I her husband....or her foreigner husband?   It's a big difference to them, and obviously the media as well.  I can speak bisaya ok and understand enough to know I'm not really welcome here unless I spend money.  I'm probably slow to adapt to it all, and a bit naive, but that's how I see it.     :cheersty:   

[Larry45]

 

I could get everyone's respect in our compound by having a party....by spending money on them. Seems that's the only way to get respect here.

 

I agree with you Larry. But that's only going to BUY you respect until the last lumpia is gone. Have you given any thought to perhaps doing something for the community? Like donating school supplies to the local school? (It doesn't have to be much. $20 for pencils and paper can go a long way) Or perhaps your time? One hour a week helping the kids to understand English. Little things like this can go a long way in gaining the respect of the entire community as well as making YOU feel a part of it. Just a thought to consider.

 

Ron

 

Exactly, Ron.  I've been here trying to get respect by living a good life, caring for wife and child, but it all amounts to nothing.  At least in the eyes of everyone local.    I refuse to buy my wife and friends here and they all appreciate that, but its just easier to explain their connection with me if there is a huge monetary reward.   Wife and friends understand...they are decent people....but those around them still generalize the foreigner and his only purpose here.  So lots of bullsh&t for them as well....

 

On a happy note, daughter is hungry and i just cooked dinner.  She is asking me when we will eat and I told her tomorrow.  Her response..."are u kidding me, Daddy?"   Makes it all worthwhile.   :)

[Jake]

Hi, Larry!

 

Give it a try, Larry.  It will surely make a big difference in your day to day life. You'll see...

 

Have a blessed day ahead of you!

Wow, double WOW!  Our Miss Julia nailed it.  Street level insights through the eyes of a Filipino!  With inspirational wisdom for all of us to take heart.  

 

You go Gurl!  

[Julia]

Wow, double WOW!  Our Miss Julia nailed it.  Street level insights through the eyes of a Filipino!  With inspirational wisdom for all of us to take heart.  

 

 

You go Gurl!  

 

 

thank you for this never ending vote of confidence, Kuya Jake!  :D

[RonHenk]

 

 

I could get everyone's respect in our compound by having a party....by spending money on them. Seems that's the only way to get respect here.

 

I agree with you Larry. But that's only going to BUY you respect until the last lumpia is gone. Have you given any thought to perhaps doing something for the community? Like donating school supplies to the local school? (It doesn't have to be much. $20 for pencils and paper can go a long way) Or perhaps your time? One hour a week helping the kids to understand English. Little things like this can go a long way in gaining the respect of the entire community as well as making YOU feel a part of it. Just a thought to consider.

 

Ron

 

Exactly, Ron.  I've been here trying to get respect by living a good life, caring for wife and child, but it all amounts to nothing.  At least in the eyes of everyone local.    I refuse to buy my wife and friends here and they all appreciate that, but its just easier to explain their connection with me if there is a huge monetary reward.   Wife and friends understand...they are decent people....but those around them still generalize the foreigner and his only purpose here.  So lots of bullsh&t for them as well....

 

On a happy note, daughter is hungry and i just cooked dinner.  She is asking me when we will eat and I told her tomorrow.  Her response..."are u kidding me, Daddy?"   Makes it all worthwhile.   :)

 

 

Larry, one of the hardest things I had to learn in life was that respect cannot be given, coerced, bought or bestowed. It must be earned.

 

Very respectfully,

Ron

[Julia]

PM me the drugstore and I will stop in there and shop.

 

will do that for sure once I get the exact name of their drugstore... :thumbsup: