Negative Vibes

[Methersgate]

As others have said. Is relocating an option? Somewhere where you Both can feel comfortable?

 

Good point. For K and I this would be Subic, where we both feel comfortable and have friends, and where mixed race couples are "normal". I would not want to live in Zamboanga del Sur near her parents, not so much because of the security situation as because I stand out like a sore thumb. She doesn't want to live there either, for the same sort of reason.

[Jake]

Hmm.....you guys ever wonder how a dollar speaking Filipino coped with negative vibes?  

 

It wasn't pretty to the point where I escaped back to US after my 7th year in PI.  Depending on which tsismis circle you listen to, Judy and I went through many scenarios within the minds of the local gossipers.  From being a PNP undercover agent to a shabu dealer in Cavite City.....these two scenarios (among others) being spread like wildfire kept feeding the flames of frustration.  I'm surprise I lasted that long.  

 

I am grateful that members of this forum have been posting great advice about calmness, keeping a low profile and most of all, keeping your self respect within a neighborhood that lost its self respect a long time ago.  

 

Have a nice day guys!

[Thomas]

I don't bother for MYSELF, just ignore, as long as it isn't add practical errors or physical danger, but I bother about things which make wife or kids feeling bad.

As I have written in some other topics, I have some thoughts of SPREADING some false or true but missleading rumours ON PURPOUSE. What do you think of spreading this?

 

If tsismis talk bad about my wife saying she only married me of money reason, then say to the worst tsismosa:

"I will tell you a secret. Actualy my wife earn MORE than I. She has married me of some other reason  :mocking:     "

I bet the whole region will know the "secret" within a few days...  :lol:

 

What do you think about saying like that?   :)

 

(That will probably be the TRUTH in the business construction I think I will chose (depending of if it can be used for the business idea I will chose) because OWNER in a BMBE type of business are INCOME tax FREE. (I don't know if there are situations where a foreigner can fullfil all the demands to be approved as BMBE. But because of that rule has no max, it make no difference who earn the money - as long as we stay together   :)    I will just get no PHILIPPINE retirement pay.)

[Chad S]

Decided I will start a new thread way down here to rant about the daily bullsh&t I experience, and how I attempt to reduce or negate it all......and take my shot at living a happy, positive life here.  Been here 5 years, married with 3 year old daughter....I don't even pretend to know it all, but I know a little bit.    

 

A few hours ago, I took my daughter outside to water the plants and watch the sun come down.  The half moon was high in the sky and amazingly, there was a rainbow in the midst of some stormy clouds.  I don't remember her seeing a rainbow before in real life, and she was amazed.  We are sitting there talking about it, and the neighbors see us, burst into laughter, talk sh&t in Bisaya and do their best to ruin the moment.  To me, that's Filipinos, in a nutshell.  I have to explain to my daughter that they are.....(insert explanation here). 

 

I've experienced this same phenomenon so many times in the past 5 years, it makes me sick.  FIlipinos have something inside them that makes it impossible to be happy for anyone else.  It's a tribal mentality and if there's nothing in it for them, they hate the whole concept of it.  Maybe it's different in the big cities, but here in the province you will NEVER hear, "I'm so happy for my friend...they won the lottery" or "that's so nice Lyn is going to the US...I hope she will be happy there."  It's always negative talk, back-biting, and crab mentality. 

 

Best point I can make on this topic is when my daughter graduated summer school a few months back.  She won best dancing and almost won best grades, despite being a year younger than the rest.  But what makes me proud is that when everyone received their awards, she was the only one that clapped for the others.  The other kids just mocked them and made jokes of the ones who were being awarded.  Sure kids do that, but if you've spent any time in the Phils, you know they learned that from their parents.

 

Anyways, just ranting down here and trying to keep my negativity confined to one thread...lol. :cheersty:  

they do this to make fun of you? This is why I want to learn the language before I come there. I wnat to be able to understand them, but not let them know I know.  :)

[Old55]

Chad, that is not true for all of us...... I don't live in Philippines one of the few that are not expats here. What I can tell you from my experience is if you treat Filipinos with respect and courtesy along with a little humour there are no other people on this planet who are kinder and more gentle.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

they do this to make fun of you? This is why I want to learn the language before I come there. I wnat to be able to understand them, but not let them know I know. :)

I was trying to learn Tagalog before I moved over here,  I was having very little luck (I hated Rosetta Stone ha ha).  Once I got over here I found that on my island Tagalog would be useless. My TV speaks Tagalog, my neighbors speak Illongo, my family speaks Kinaray-a.  Tagalog is not very popular south of Luzon, so I just stuck with English...  :tiphat:

[Vince Runza]

If tsismis talk bad about my wife saying she only married me of money reason, then say to the worst tsismosa: "I will tell you a secret. Actually my wife earn MORE than I. She has married me of some other reason :mocking: " I bet the whole region will know the "secret" within a few days... :lol:

That other reason? Exotic European Sexual Practices! :hystery:

[Thomas]

 

If tsismis talk bad about my wife saying she only married me of money reason, then say to the worst tsismosa: "I will tell you a secret. Actually my wife earn MORE than I. She has married me of some other reason :mocking: " I bet the whole region will know the "secret" within a few days... :lol:

That other reason? Exotic European Sexual Practices! :hystery:

It's up to each person to interprete   :)

 

But more likely it depend of she like my funny faces :mocking:    

[Larry45]

 

It's just tiring to constantly be disrespected for no reason other than I'm a foreigner that is no use to them.

 

WOW! Have you talked to your wife about how you Truly feel? As others have said. Is relocating an option? Somewhere where you Both can feel comfortable? I personally have not experienced the type of treatment that you described, but it's obviously uncomfortable for you. Weigh the options that are best for you and your wife, but most important, for your beautiful child. Your discomfort may have a profound effect on her. She can sense it. Believe me.

 

Ron

 

We are all ready to leave now, Ron, but financial and family obligations keep us here for now.  I also would like to have a positive opinion of Filipinos when I leave, so we prefer moving to a better area for a while before heading back to the US. Wife is as fed up as I am, as she finally sees her local culture for what it really is...negativity and hate.  She gets it much worse than I do. 

 

As for anyone in the US referring to my wife as "my asian wife", I really doubt that will happen.  I've known several guys who brought girls over from other countries and it was never even a consideration.  Some of you guys are getting that because you've had multiple wives and that's the easiest way to distinguish between them all.  To even begin to compare the US and Philippines with regards to racism and discrimination is absurd.  

 

Keeping it fair and balanced...Larry45   :cheersty:    :thumbsup:  

[davewe]

 

 

As for anyone in the US referring to my wife as "my asian wife", I really doubt that will happen.  I've known several guys who brought girls over from other countries and it was never even a consideration.  To even begin to compare the US and Philippines with regards to racism and discrimination is absurd.  

 

 

Sorry but this is simply untrue. What is true is that you won't be called a "foreigner" in the US. But please, let's get real here. Look at the news; the country is about to boil over due to racial divides. What you might mean is that as a white guy you don't encounter racism in the US - but a lot of other people do.

 

You don't like where you are and by all means that's a good reason that you and your family ought to consider leaving. But don't kid yourself about racism in the US, prejudice against Asian people or Filipinos. It very much exists. My wife and I have been fortunate and are generally accepted. But the idea that she and we have encounter no prejudice is unfortunately untrue.

Edited November 29, 2015 by davewe