My retirement here is Not what I expected

[manofthecoldland]

Depnding on due diligence, research and previous personal trips, etc., many things still catch us off guard when we retire here. 

    What would you consider a few of your personal misconceptions that you had to revise your thinking on after retireing here ?

    I personally underestimated the time and effort it takes to get from point A to point B. I also underestimated how quickly my wife learned to spend all my income on apparently rational expenses. 

[Kuya John]

14 minutes ago, manofthecoldland said:

    I also underestimated how quickly my wife learned to spend all my income on apparently rational    expenses. 

Welcome to the club Man;

To keep my sanity, I now work on the philosophy...You can't take it with you when you go!

Edited March 5, 2016 by Kuya John

[Tukaram (Tim)]

All my vacations were in the cities.   I was not prepared for how loud the province is.  We just spent a year in Iloilo, and really enjoyed the peace & quiet.  We are back in the boonies now... and the noise is driving me batty ha ha. 

[Nephi]

I think that after being single for so long my biggest adjustment was compromise. It was an adjustment but now if I want everything my way only - I just go have a burger at Wendy's at our closest SM mall ..

[Queenie O.]

I thought when I moved here that I had visited, spent time and "done my homework" enough to make a smooth transition and landing here.  I underestimated how long it would take me to really feel comfortable, happy and content living permanently here. (about a year and a half)

At first everything seemed a whirlwind as we finished building and outfitting our house. Being busy gave me less time to really think too much about it things. After settling in though, I was really missing my close-knit family  and place in the States a lot, and I felt that I had somehow abandoned them. They seemed cooler and less interested in what we were now doing, which seemed to confirm my thoughts.

Adjusting to living out in a rural area after living my whole life in a small city was hard. Choices and freedoms that I had been used to were now more limited and that was kind of depressing. I felt that I wasn't the same person that I used to be confidence-wise, and I spent quite a bit of time "waiting for the shoe to drop" having fears and anxiety about new situations. I worried about not getting enough exercise, the heat, not having much contact with other foreigner friends being different as a woman and not "one of the guys", choices of foods that I'd be able to have, worries over the lack of structure in my days, or lack of "production" that I had had through work and routines that i'd always been used to. I thought that it would be easier to make local "good friends" and  close family ties,but sometimes the cultural differences and  lack of commonalities make that an on-going process.

Dealing with my husband's family and the language, local people, customs was not a problem for me.  I was often frustrated and angry though, that my husband was just basking in the feeling of being back in his old home, and with family and  that he had made an easy happy transition right away with no real issues.

Over time though, most these things have worked themselves out, or are at a manageable level for me. I think that almost a year ago, getting my own car and driving here helped me get my old confidence back.  Most of the things that bothered me don't bother me really  at all anymore, my family abroad has come around and are just glad that we can still be prettyclose and  stay in touch. Lack of structure? Fears? Lack of production? Food choices? Most all have been worked out over time at least up to the present:)

I'm comfortable with the person that I'm growing into now, and am quite confident, happy and content. Every day is a learning experience in some way here, we all know, and things can still sometimes be frustrating or maddening, but for the most part it's great now.  One thing I can say though, that in the time I have lived here I've never had any second thoughts about making the move. 

Queenie

[bows00]

1 hour ago, Tukaram (Tim) said:

We are back in the boonies now... and the noise is driving me batty ha ha. 

I thought it would be the other way around - I would expect more noise in the cities.  Are you talking about rosters?

[Tukaram (Tim)]

No. stereos.  In the city people have jobs... and need sleep.  Out here in the barrio they got nothing else to do but party all night.  Then, I have 2 neighbors that crank it up every morning at 0615. 

[robert k]

4 minutes ago, Tukaram (Tim) said:

No. stereos.  In the city people have jobs... and need sleep.  Out here in the barrio they got nothing else to do but party all night.  Then, I have 2 neighbors that crank it up every morning at 0615. 

It was quiet in the middle of a big farm on Mindoro because people worked their buns off every day. Once a month there was a loud party but I was ready for a little noise by then!

[Dave Hounddriver]

3 hours ago, manofthecoldland said:

  I personally underestimated the time and effort it takes to get from point A to point B. I also underestimated how quickly my wife learned to spend all my income on apparently rational expenses. 

I hear that!  I definitely agree.  I tried to explain the difference between wants and needs and how a budget works but I'm wasting my breath.  She figures its her job to try and spend everything we have and my job to say no when there is not enough money and her job to pout when I say no.  Its tiresome, but not tiresome enough to stop doing it.

2 hours ago, Tukaram (Tim) said:

I was not prepared for how loud the province is

When I moved to the boonies of Biliran province it was so quiet I would sometimes scream at the moon to ask myself why I moved to there.  Now, in Dumaguete I have a hard time finding a quiet enough spot to shoot a video without noise in the background.

Another thing that is not quite what I expected is my budget.  I did not expect to ever be able to live on as little as I live on now.  I did not expect the value of the Canadian dollar to ever buy as few pesos as it does now.  And yet its working for me. 

 

[stevewool]

3 hours ago, Queenie O. said:

I thought when I moved here that I had visited, spent time and "done my homework" enough to make a smooth transition and landing here.  I underestimated how long it would take me to really feel comfortable, happy and content living permanently here. (about a year and a half)

At first everything seemed a whirlwind as we finished building and outfitting our house. Being busy gave me less time to really think too much about it things. After settling in though, I was really missing my close-knit family  and place in the States a lot, and I felt that I had somehow abandoned them. They seemed cooler and less interested in what we were now doing, which seemed to confirm my thoughts.

Adjusting to living out in a rural area after living my whole life in a small city was hard. Choices and freedoms that I had been used to were now more limited and that was kind of depressing. I felt that I wasn't the same person that I used to be confidence-wise, and I spent quite a bit of time "waiting for the shoe to drop" having fears and anxiety about new situations. I worried about not getting enough exercise, the heat, not having much contact with other foreigner friends being different as a woman and not "one of the guys", choices of foods that I'd be able to have, worries over the lack of structure in my days, or lack of "production" that I had had through work and routines that i'd always been used to. I thought that it would be easier to make local "good friends" and  close family ties,but sometimes the cultural differences and  lack of commonalities make that an on-going process.

Dealing with my husband's family and the language, local people, customs was not a problem for me.  I was often frustrated and angry though, that my husband was just basking in the feeling of being back in his old home, and with family and  that he had made an easy happy transition right away with no real issues.

Over time though, most these things have worked themselves out, or are at a manageable level for me. I think that almost a year ago, getting my own car and driving here helped me get my old confidence back.  Most of the things that bothered me don't bother me really  at all anymore, my family abroad has come around and are just glad that we can still be prettyclose and  stay in touch. Lack of structure? Fears? Lack of production? Food choices? Most all have been worked out over time at least up to the present:)

I'm comfortable with the person that I'm growing into now, and am quite confident, happy and content. Every day is a learning experience in some way here, we all know, and things can still sometimes be frustrating or maddening, but for the most part it's great now.  One thing I can say though, that in the time I have lived here I've never had any second thoughts about making the move. 

Queenie

Thanks Queenie, that was a great read and it has made me feel better about the coming move for me too