Smiling faces.... Are Filipinos truly friendly? Do you have Filipino friends?

[Shady]

4 hours ago, Mike J said:

I tend to think that Filipinos are a lot like people everywhere.

You're literally a mod on "philippines-expats.com", one of many such websites. Why do you think all these sites exist, why is there a flocking expat population, if the people here are a lot like people everywhere? The internet speed?

[Old55]

36 minutes ago, Shady said:

You're literally a mod on "philippines-expats.com", one of many such websites. Why do you think all these sites exist, why is there a flocking expat population, if the people here are a lot like people everywhere? The internet speed?

Internet speed not so much. 

Hot Filipinas, cold beer, smiling faces and beaches. Do I need to go on?

[Gandang Smile]

13 hours ago, TerryP said:

Haven't missed a lot

Gandalf the wise gives us a lesson in all things Filipino

One or 2 of us disagree

Our posts are removed and I get my fingers rapped on everyones behalf

Culminating in Eddie's last post

Woops can feel further retribution coming here

 

I don't think @Old55 removed our posts because we disagreed. I got a PM from Old55 too, so you're not the only one who "got his fingers rapped".

One thing is to be in disagreement with someone else's opinions. Another is to resent those opinions and consider them an affront to your particular family situation or your world view. You found a good woman who raised two children wonderfully and is now being rewarded by their success in life and filial gratitude.

It's not always like that, unfortunately. Your opinion or mine doesn't change the reality of this country.

[Gandang Smile]

7 hours ago, Shady said:

Exactly. Or consider the 'barangay captain'.  As a relatively poor culture, and especially one isolated by thousands of islands,  cities here can't employ thousands of police like Western nations. These are a people who basically police themselves, there was no other choice. Since birth, not stepping out of line is embedded into the culture. In a population level this dense, with families this large, assholes don't survive. There are no options except being helpful, or at the very least, courteous.  All that, plus the Christian tradition of 'love thy neighbor' etc.

You can see the same effect with the many stray dogs. For the most part, none of these azkals step out of line, none of them are 'bitey'. Bitey dogs got killed immediately and thus didn't breed. The result? Even the dog population is friendly. 

 

I agree. It's the community spirit that is common in many parts of Asia. Back in the days it was "collaborate or die".

[Gandang Smile]

3 hours ago, RBM said:

Although not closely followed this thread I find your opinions interesting if not perhaps a little long winded.  Please do not stop posting.

Your situation is quite unique, not many of us have married into a situation like yourself, be helpful to consider this when posting.

There are many here like myself whom have not been asked to provide, there are others whom are requested for help on a regular basis. As one poster said good and bad, we need to be realistic.

Few days ago after one to many SMs I had to cross one of the busiest streets here in Bacolod, noticed a local near by  guess around 20 or so, asked him if he would mind helping me cross, cars fly down this street at 80 KMH. He was delighted to assist and enjoyed same. Did he expect anything, absolutely not.

 Not being under any illusions my guess would be if I befriended him in any way would be just a matter of time before requests came in.  Its just how it is....I accept this and have no issues with it. It often pays IMHO to keep ones distance.

Thanks for your kind interest, @RBM. I made my fair share of mistakes and had an even larger share of problems, before finding balance with my life here. Yes, the Filipino society was not at all what I was naively expecting when I came here in 2015 but I have myself to blame for not learning it beforehand and acting consequently.

What I learned from this thread and others is that the biggest discriminant by far is whether the foreigner comes here to live a relatively peaceful and secluded life, or if they want/need to dive into the ocean of varied humanity available here.

I can see the general consensus is that polite yet cautious interactions with the locals are the best way to appreciate their friendliness without getting stuck in the honey trap of their "what's in it for me" mentality.

 

Edited January 5, 2021 by Gandang Smile

[hk blues]

4 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

I can see the general consensus is that polite yet cautious interactions with the locals are the best way to appreciate their friendliness without getting stuck in the honey trap of their "what's in in for me" mentality.

 

I go even further, Gandang Smile, and stay very much under the radar.  It's not easy for all to do that, or even possible, but if you can then it's the best policy for me.  

[Gandang Smile]

Just now, hk blues said:

I go even further, Gandang Smile, and stay very much under the radar.  It's not easy for all to do that, or even possible, but if you can then it's the best policy for me.  

Agreed. It's very hard for me, too, as I am an extroverted person and I live mingling with people. Unfortunately some of the people I met in Davao saw that need for friends as a weakness and tried to take advantage. Most failed, some succeeded.

[hk blues]

2 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

Agreed. It's very hard for me, too, as I am an extroverted person and I live mingling with people. Unfortunately some of the people I met in Davao saw that need for friends as a weakness and tried to take advantage. Most failed, some succeeded.

I understand.  Luckily (in this instance) I'm comfortable with my own company so can get by.  I do miss having a chat about nothing much but it's swings and roundabouts.  

[scott h]

7 hours ago, hk blues said:

Luckily (in this instance) I'm comfortable with my own company so can get by.

VEry very true HK, when asked what it takes to live here, one of my first reply is that a person needs to be comfortable in their own skin. If they are the type that LOVES to drop by the pub of an afternoon, watch the game with you mates or play a game of darts and having a chat,,,,,this might not be the place for them.

[Jack Peterson]

10 minutes ago, scott h said:

watch the game with you mates or play a game of darts and having a chat,,,,,this might not be the place for them.

 This very much depends where you choose to Live, Here in Dumaguete we have plenty of Places you can do these things,

It is of course a matter of choice where you live but no need  to miss out on things you can/want to enjoy