Smiling faces.... Are Filipinos truly friendly? Do you have Filipino friends?

[Old55]

6 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

Oh that's true, sorry. I remove my initial question from the post.

 

It's OK!  You were not the only one who has read it that way. Years ago a very short lived member here called me out for being "totally vague". To be honest there is some truth to it as my writing skills are lacking. 

Thanks HK! 

Edited January 4, 2021 by Old55

[hk blues]

Just now, Old55 said:

It's OK!  You were not the only one who has read it that way. Years ago a very short lived member here called me out for being "totally vague". To be honest there is some truth to it as my writing skills are lacking. 

What are you trying to say?

[Old55]

Just now, hk blues said:

What are you trying to say?

I don't know just making this shit up as I go along..........

Opps here we go off topic again why is it always me. 

[Jack Peterson]

4 minutes ago, Old55 said:

I don't know just making this shit up as I go along..........

 Not sure you are the Only one Dan 

[Gandang Smile]

2 minutes ago, Old55 said:

I don't know just making this shit up as I go along..........

Opps here we go off topic again why is it always me. 

IMHO I don't think any of us is going off-topic.

The subject at hand, whether Filipinos are genuinely friendly behind those endearing smiles, is controversial and difficult to substantiate without explaining why.

I wish I didn't have to learn what I know the hard way. In fact, I am happy I made only some of the canonical mistakes foreigners do when they visit the archipelago, be it for a few weeks or a few years. In the end, that's the great value of forums like these: a place where diverse opinions can converge and challenge one another.

For all the evidence I have seen and heard about, I don't think it's good to generalise over a population of 110 million people. I just wish it were easier for us foreigner to come across the positives of Filipino culture and society more often and more strongly than the negatives.

 

[hk blues]

14 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

For all the evidence I have seen and heard about, I don't think it's good to generalise over a population of 110 million people.

I don't know - many are more than happy to generalise about the population of a country with 15 times more population!

Joking apart, generalising is kinda what we do regardless of it being good or not.  The issue for me is when the generalising is not balanced i.e. all of the bad stuff and none of the good.  

 

[Gandang Smile]

1 minute ago, hk blues said:

I don't know - many are more than happy to generalise about the population of a country with 15 times more population!

If you're referring to China, we all know all Chinese are evil with the single exception of this guy 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/2018/10/16/hong-kong-actor-chow-yun-fat-give-542-million-fortune-away/

(kidding)

1 minute ago, hk blues said:

Joking apart, generalising is kinda what we do regardless of it being good or not.  The issue for me is when the generalising is not balanced i.e. all of the bad stuff and none of the good.  

If I had heard more of the negatives bells I would have probably come to the Philippines anyway, but more aware of the hurdles to expect.

In the end, it's not so important. As I read, fewer and fewer foreigners are attracted to the Philippines for genuine business reasons. Setting up a corporation here is a minor ordeal, winding it down when it fails a major ordeal. And there's the daily hurdles of navigating all the inconsistent regulations, the bureaucracy, the rules told and those untold.

I am setting up a Singapore entity as we speak. The whole process, including multi-currency bank account, will be probably over by end of this week and I will have paid a third of what I paid here. This, despite Singapore prices.

[Shady]

1 hour ago, Gandang Smile said:

Reality is, it took me a very long time, living here in the Philippines, to find this kind of girl. I liked a few of the girls I dated but I was very aware of the general stickiness of their families.

Took me around 5 years to find the right one. The girl you meet online, the one you fall in 'internet-love' with, the reason you go to the PH in the first place? That's the first one, and I'm sure we know how expats mistake the first one, for the right one, simply because she's so much better than their past ones.

1 hour ago, Gandang Smile said:

 I think it's a cultural trait of the Filipino that the strongest family members are expected to step in and provide whatever help the rest of the family needs. 

True, but that trait doesn't begin and end with family, from a very early age it's friends and neighbors. And that's what makes the people so friendly, or more accurately helpful, this is a common trait from supermarket cashiers to taxi drivers to call-center employees. This wanting to be helpful and the patience within in it is a big reason why PH leads the world in outsourcing, known as ‘The BPO Capital of the World’.

 

[Gandang Smile]

17 minutes ago, Shady said:

Took me around 5 years to find the right one. The girl you meet online, the one you fall in 'internet-love' with, the reason you go to the PH in the first place? That's the first one, and I'm sure we know how expats mistake the first one, for the right one, simply because she's so much better than their past ones.

 

Kudos to your patience and persistence, @Shady! 

The way I see it, the only way to find the right kind of Filipina, especially if one's expectations are higher than the typical poor/near-illiterate-but-sweet-morena-single-mom-from-the-province, is to spend months and months here in the Philippines, having face-to-face dates with the girls and also meeting their parents/families and their best friends.

I also see that most men who live and work abroad are not in a position to leave everything behind and fly here for that amount of time. In the US, one has to be lucky to have 15 days of paid leave a year. They have to work with what they have. That is the reason why most of them start the acquaintance, the courtship and the relationship over a website and by the time they reach these shores their mind is almost made up.

We all saw the cute videos of the over-the-moon American or British or Dutch man proposing her beautiful Filipina on the beach.

17 minutes ago, Shady said:

True, but that trait doesn't begin and end with family, from a very early age it's friends and neighbors. And that's what makes the people so friendly, or more accurately helpful, this is a common trait from supermarket cashiers to taxi drivers to call-center employees. This wanting to be helpful and the patience within in it is a big reason why PH leads the world in outsourcing, known as ‘The BPO Capital of the World’.

True, I actually should have said "extended family". Although it's a pan-Asian tradition, we all see how children are taught from a very young age to call their neighbours and family friends "tito/tita" (uncle/auntie) or "kuya" (older brother). I see it as a form of respect and bonding at the same time.

People here expect to be assisted, and they consider the stronger helping the weaker as a given. It's a noble thing, and something I would encourage at any time. Yet, it's not a given. I wish most Filipinos understood that. To fully appreciate a 1000 pesos handout from an OFW sister, or the "rich" foreigner who's courting their daughter, would probably help them discover the beauty, the magic, of an act of kindness. Kind of like when a child receives a candy, or anything for that matter.

 

 

Edited January 4, 2021 by Gandang Smile

[Jack Peterson]

1 hour ago, Gandang Smile said:

People here expect to be assisted, and they consider the stronger helping the weaker as a given. It's a noble thing,

 Yet, after all you had said and no doubt more to come, you chose to marry one, I wonder if your wife would understand what you are saying about her Country folk, which is not very complimentary and at times a tad racial