Smiling faces.... Are Filipinos truly friendly? Do you have Filipino friends?

[Old55]

I agree Scott. Gandang's experiences don't match mine but it is his reality. 

Do you have any Filipino friends yourself?

The topic is suggested by (I think) Terry and HK they brought it up inside another topic.

Edited January 2, 2021 by Old55

[scott h]

15 minutes ago, Old55 said:

Do you have any Filipino friends yourself?

I guess I do, or friendly at least.  2 immediately come to mind. We would sit for an hour or two each afternoon, watch the traffic go by and tell stories and talk about current events.....covid put a stop to that. 

After thinking about it a bit. Have I ever been invited over to a Filipino house or had one over to mine for a beer and a chat? Nope, not unless I am dragged along by the wife  and they are all her batchmates. 

[OnMyWay]

1 hour ago, Old55 said:

Do you have any Filipino friends yourself?

I don't have many close friends here, Filipino or foreigner.  That might explain why I and others spend a lot of time here on the forum.  This is amplified during the Covid restrictions and many of us need to chat with people other than our immediate family.  In this day and age, online friends and acquaintances can fill in for physical friends when needed.  I joined this forum in 2011 and several of you have been here that entire time, and others for many years.  One reason there is a core group who stick around is because we have found that we can discuss many things, sometimes disagree, but still respect the many different opinions.

However, I can say my best friend here is a Filipino.  We met through my daughter's school 3-4 years ago and think on the same wavelength.  He is educated and from a wealthy family.  Our daughter's schools are private, and we have met most of our closer Filipino friends through the school.  Most are fairly well off.

Gandang's reason for coming to the Philippines was slightly different that most of us.  He is younger, with many options in life.  Not on a fixed income, etc.  A big reason for coming to the Philippines for many is to lower costs during retirement.  I think most of us knew some of the downsides of the Philippines before moving, and accepted them, as a trade-off.  In Gandang's case, it seems he should have joined this forum BEFORE moving, and it might have prepared him better for some of the irritations of living here, or convinced him not to move here.

Some of the things Gandang and others have brought up ring true.  It all depends on your perception and expectations.  Personally, I have isolated myself from many of the negatives of living here, and could continue to live here.  However, I want my two young daughters to be exposed to a different way of living, so we will move to the U.S.  There are many negatives for children living in the U.S. too, but overall, we think the positives outweigh the negatives.

 

[hk blues]

8 pages and surprise, surprise we've come to the conclusion that the answer is yes...and no! Our own experiences will dictate which it is. Just like anywhere else.

And I'm not trying to diminish the value of this topic as we've read some interesting and alternative views as well as a fair bit of trying to teach grandmothers to suck eggs from some but that's what forums are all about IMO.

[Shady]

4 hours ago, Snowy79 said:

Out of curiosity how many ex Pat's here are married to or have younger rich partners. 

There's a joke among Filipinos: they're happy all the foreigners are taking their short, poor, brown girls, because they only want the tall, white, rich ones.

If expats wanted tall white rich girls, they wouldn't be expats.

 

 

[Gandang Smile]

7 hours ago, Kuya John said:

When do you plan to arrive back in the UK then ? 

These are desperate times guy's and sometimes if you didnt laugh you would cry!

To be honest with you, I won't be back to the UK any time soon, not for living there long-term at least 

In the UK I still have a couple of clients and my partner/friend in a small startup we just launched. However they are all perfectly happy for me to continue to work from the Philippines, or wherever it suits me.

Some of my former non-British colleagues are leaving the City in droves. The remote working mirage has been working for  a few months. Then banks and corporations have started to notice the loss of productivity and decision-making effectiveness due to people jumping on meetings in their pyjamas and taking long Netflix breaks. Most of them can't wait to have 100% of their workforce back at their desks ASAP. It's also a matter of survival for the tens of thousands of small businesses and franchises that rely on the commuters economy: cafes and restaurants, sandwich shops, laundries, corner grocery shops, etc.

The Covid blow on the UK economy has been really hard. For the few who are gliding on 250K+ GBP a year salaries, it might not have had such a high impact. For the vast majority who are on a fifth of that if they're lucky and have 20 years left on their mortgages, it's a different story.

Just to rebalance what sounds like a "single whining man vs the world" thread: I did appreciate the resilience and community spirit of the Filipinos during these testing times. Here in Pasig and Quezon City there are dozens of streets where some landlords put up plastic tables with the rice cooker full of rice, for poorer neighbour to go and tuck in. If only they could be as consistent when doing good as they are when screwing up their fellow's lives... A shame...a real shame...

 

 

 

[Snowy79]

Maybe it's all down to what we class as a friend. I'm sure those that I class as real friends would be detested by many. My true friends are honest to the extent that they could appear to be brutal. The old adage that if you want " YOUR" answer don't ask me to give you mine.

I have aquaintences that are happy to be around me and when I used to drink we'd share a few beers and have a laugh but if I was in need of help they'd always be busy.  They'd borrow a tool or money and I'd spend forever chasing them up.  My real friends would drop everything for me and tell me to my face if I'm being a dick.

I know I've given the tradesmen here a rough time but they deserve it, it doesn't mean outside of their work I couldn't actually like the person.  I have one good friend from Scotland who is one of life's victims.  He just can't see the bad in anyone and if you punched him in the face he would blame himself for having done something to deserve it,  he's even been robbed and felt sorry for the other person as he must have needed his money more than him. 

I was in the position a few times where I could easily have gotten him a job and when he asked me I refused as I told him he's a nightmare, he used to brag about skiving at work and getting too drunk to turn so I just told him to his face he has no chance of getting my recomendation but we remained good friends, you couldn't be that honest I find here as the pride kicks in.

The actual Filipino friends I have often tell me they also don't have many friends here as the crab mentality kicks in and many don't like to see others doing well. To be fair I see plenty of Americans that are happy that others are doing well but in the UK there is a lot of jealousy like here in the Philippines.

[Jake]

3 minutes ago, Snowy79 said:

My real friends would drop everything for me and tell me to my face if I'm being a dick.

As you may know Snowy, us veterans of all flags like to have a friendly banter, especially with other military branches (USAF is the step child).  For example: How's it going dick head.....I'm doing fine dick breath.  

You're a dick Snowy and I love your comments.  Triple LIKE sir! 

 

[Gandang Smile]

8 hours ago, stevewool said:

I must say I have enjoyed reading what you have to say in this and other threads , I don’t agree with some of the things you say but again I don’t agree with  things  what other folk have to say too, but thank you it’s enjoyable 

Thanks a lot @stevewool: wise and kind words. 

You know, when I first came to the Philippines in 2013, for an all-relax vacation in Samal Island (front of Davao), I thought the Philippines was paradise on earth. The weather was beautiful and in stark contrast with the fog and gloom of mid-winter Chilterns (I was living in High Wycombe at the time). The coral sea was inviting and everyone around greeted me with a smile, despite their condition of extreme frugality was there for me to see.

By the time I flew back to England, I had my brain jam-packed with all sorts of meaningful and tearjerking stories, many of which, I am sure, you heard too.

I remember sitting at a wooden table by the beach with the owner of the hostel I was staying in, on Christmas day 2013. Two small kids, one of whom, a girl, was blind in one eye, came by skipping and giggling. "Merry Christmas Sir" and they improvised an unimpressive rendition of a Christmas song I don't remember anymore. Two minutes later I fumbled in my pocket for spare change and found two 10 pesos coins, one for each kid.

They looked at each other with an even larger smile, jumped and high-fived, then skipped away the same way they came. I would have bet they were jumping a bit higher this time.

20 pesos was the price for something undescribable. Fresh from the separation from my ex-wife, the brutal routine of my City life still weighing on me like an old rusty armour, I started to feel some fresh salty water poured on existential wounds I didn't even know existed.

Aries, the hostel owner said he was happy I gave 20 pesos to the kids. "They will be buying themselves some Christmas candy" I said.  "Well, no", Aries interjected. "They will go back to their parents and use that money to buy rice for everyone".

"That's probably the only meal they'll have today".

Edited January 3, 2021 by Gandang Smile

[OnMyWay]

58 minutes ago, hk blues said:

8 pages and surprise, surprise we've come to the conclusion that the answer is yes...and no! Our own experiences will dictate which it is. Just like anywhere else.

Yes, we could have the same discussion about any place.  I lived in Germany for 4 years, and the general population is not very friendly to those who don't speak German.  My work colleagues were great and I still have many of them as friends, but they were more of an international bunch.  In South Florida, I lived in a neighborhood that was probably 80% Latin, 10% white, 10% black and 90% spoke mostly Spanish.  I found all of my close by neighbors to be really friendly and genuine.  Only two years there but good memories.  I grew up in California so I had a wide group of friends, and that would be hard to compare to a place you move to.