Smiling faces.... Are Filipinos truly friendly? Do you have Filipino friends?

[Gandang Smile]

44 minutes ago, Old55 said:

I think bad apples in any culture stick out and are noticed much more. This goes both ways a few Foreigners behave badly living or visiting Philippines and we all are judged to that. I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences living in Philippines it's not for everyone. Over the years we've had several members who were absolutely miserable living in Philippines it's not for everyone. 

Have you made any close Filipino friends?

Well, I know a lot of good apples, too, starting from my wife and her family.

It took me a grand total of 2.5 years and close to a hundred of Filipinas met, sometimes dated, to find a girl whose family wouldn't start asking for loans, gifts and donations as if I was the family Santa Claus.

Perhaps it's my fault, perhaps Davao City has the highest percentage of these kinds of people. Perhaps I have "human ATM" flashing on my forehead 

Reality is, most of the Filipinos/as I met during my time here were of that kind and made me not only cynical and disappointed, but also very reluctant to make new friends. I am sure that, had I continued to meet and greet people here in Metro Manila, I would have met less of the leechers and more of the smart, self-reliant and proud types.

From what I noticed in my 3 years in Makati and Ortigas, it's true that metropolitan Filipinos have their jobs/careers and won't need anybody else's money. It's also true that people over here mind their own business and won't be your friends willy nilly.

I have several business acquaintances here in Manila, people I talk to about potential projects or exchange professional advice every now and then. I met them a few times over coffee or dinner. Yet, I really can't consider them my friends, let alone close friends.

Not to be overly cynical, but I guess the Philippines tends to work better with retirees who have, for the most part, left their problems behind and look forward to a relaxed lifestyle in the beatiful countryside, with their wives or partners and children, surrounded by a small community.

Edited January 2, 2021 by Gandang Smile

[Gandang Smile]

Just now, TerryP said:

I think you may find that is the fault of the priveliged who are creaming off at every corner. They are the ones that strangle opportunity through their leeching. 

Yes, I can't agree more! 

It's also true that opportunities exist for even the most destitute kids to get quality education (the Philippine Science High School and University of the Philippines systems can be completely tuition free!) and raise themselves and their loved ones.

I used to be all shaken and teary in front of the usual Filipino/a who would ask me for 10K to pay for their tuition fees, so they could get an education. Over time I learned that all those kids were

1) enrolled at diploma factories that would have left them with next to nothing, knowledge and skill-wise,

2) they didn't have much motivation to "get an education", and

3) had I ever consented to that handout, they would have ran back home to throw a party with their families and bought themselves some electronic gadget with the remaining money.

Just now, TerryP said:

It's true that opportunity for betterment is achieved by the lower class by their self endeavour. Some achieve it some don't but that doesn't make the ones at the bottom of the pile bad people

I never said that being poor equates to being bad people. I am not even criticising those who don't achieve much betterment, since it's all a matter of intelligence and luck for everyone. So, again, lacking intellect or resolve or luck doesn't make anyone a bad person.

The only category of people I criticise is those who want to have it easy, by virtue of an OFW parent or relative, or some foreigner somewhere in the family tree. These people are sadly represented in the masa category and, as I observed in 5.5 years of continuously living in the Philippines, are more frequently encountered by us foreigners.

Just now, TerryP said:

They are the ones that give you a smile when you give them the time of day. And so what if it costs you a cup of coffee or a cigarette.

I have never denied a coffee or a cigarette, most of the time more than that, to a Filipino who met me with a smile.

The thing that used to get me all the time is the actual absence of malice in both their smiles and friendly behaviour, and the request for money or favours that typically ensues as soon as they feel close enough to you. Sometimes I wondered if asking someone whom they perceive as wealthier and more generous isn't something completely normal for them, something they feel absolutely entitled.

 

[Terry P]

2 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

Yes, I can't agree more! 

It's also true that opportunities exist for even the most destitute kids to get quality education (the Philippine Science High School and University of the Philippines systems can be completely tuition free!) and raise themselves and their loved ones.

I used to be all shaken and teary in front of the usual Filipino/a who would ask me for 10K to pay for their tuition fees, so they could get an education. Over time I learned that all those kids were

1) enrolled at diploma factories that would have left them with next to nothing, knowledge and skill-wise,

2) they didn't have much motivation to "get an education", and

3) had I ever consented to that handout, they would have ran back home to throw a party with their families and bought themselves some electronic gadget with the remaining money.

I never said that being poor equates to being bad people. I am not even criticising those who don't achieve much betterment, since it's all a matter of intelligence and luck for everyone. So, again, lacking intellect or resolve or luck doesn't make anyone a bad person.

The only category of people I criticise is those who want to have it easy, by virtue of an OFW parent or relative, or some foreigner somewhere in the family tree. These people are sadly represented in the masa category and, as I observed in 5.5 years of continuously living in the Philippines, are more frequently encountered by us foreigners.

I have never denied a coffee or a cigarette, most of the time more than that, to a Filipino who met me with a smile.

The thing that used to get me all the time is the actual absence of malice in both their smiles and friendly behaviour, and the request for money or favours that typically ensues as soon as they feel close enough to you. Sometimes I wondered if asking someone whom they perceive as wealthier and more generous isn't something completely normal for them, something they feel absolutely entitled.

 

 

12 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

Yes, I can't agree more! 

It's also true that opportunities exist for even the most destitute kids to get quality education (the Philippine Science High School and University of the Philippines systems can be completely tuition free!) and raise themselves and their loved ones.

I used to be all shaken and teary in front of the usual Filipino/a who would ask me for 10K to pay for their tuition fees, so they could get an education. Over time I learned that all those kids were

1) enrolled at diploma factories that would have left them with next to nothing, knowledge and skill-wise,

2) they didn't have much motivation to "get an education", and

3) had I ever consented to that handout, they would have ran back home to throw a party with their families and bought themselves some electronic gadget with the remaining money.

I never said that being poor equates to being bad people. I am not even criticising those who don't achieve much betterment, since it's all a matter of intelligence and luck for everyone. So, again, lacking intellect or resolve or luck doesn't make anyone a bad person.

The only category of people I criticise is those who want to have it easy, by virtue of an OFW parent or relative, or some foreigner somewhere in the family tree. These people are sadly represented in the masa category and, as I observed in 5.5 years of continuously living in the Philippines, are more frequently encountered by us foreigners.

I have never denied a coffee or a cigarette, most of the time more than that, to a Filipino who met me with a smile.

The thing that used to get me all the time is the actual absence of malice in both their smiles and friendly behaviour, and the request for money or favours that typically ensues as soon as they feel close enough to you. Sometimes I wondered if asking someone whom they perceive as wealthier and more generous isn't something completely normal for them, something they feel absolutely entitled.

 

So

The elite are creaming off

There's a few hard to find who are climbing out of the mire

The vast majority are beyond help

Time for you to leave the sinking ship methinks.

How can you live in a society like that with your obvious high standards is beyond me

[Gandang Smile]

33 minutes ago, TerryP said:

Time for you to leave the sinking ship methinks.

How can you live in a society like that with your obvious high standards is beyond me

I am waiting for my wife to finish her contract, publish her paper and we'll be on to another sinking ship 

[stevewool]

9 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

I am waiting for my wife to finish her contract, publish her paper and we'll be on to another sinking ship 

I must say I have enjoyed reading what you have to say in this and other threads , I don’t agree with some of the things you say but again I don’t agree with  things  what other folk have to say too, but thank you it’s enjoyable 

[Kuya John]

26 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

I am waiting for my wife to finish her contract, publish her paper and we'll be on to another sinking ship 

When do you plan to arrive back in the UK then ? 

These are desperate times guy's and sometimes if you didnt laugh you would cry!

Edited January 2, 2021 by Kuya John

[Terry P]

5 minutes ago, Gandang Smile said:

I am waiting for my wife to finish her contract, publish her paper and we'll be on to another sinking ship 

 

2 minutes ago, stevewool said:

I must say I have enjoyed reading what you have to say in this and other threads , I don’t agree with some of the things you say but again I don’t agree with  things  what other folk have to say too, but thank you it’s enjoyable 

Agreed Steve

Don't forget your lifejacket gandang😃😂

[stevewool]

18 minutes ago, Kuya John said:

When do you plan to arrive back in the UK then ? 

These are desperate times guy's and sometimes if you didnt laugh you would cry!

Wise words John, sometimes folk forget to laugh .

[Viking]

1 hour ago, Gandang Smile said:

 

The only category of people I criticise is those who want to have it easy, by virtue of an OFW parent or relative, or some foreigner somewhere in the family tree. These people are sadly represented in the masa category and, as I observed in 5.5 years of continuously living in the Philippines, are more frequently encountered by us foreigners.

 

With this, I agree 100%

But I also want to say that I have several genuin Philippino friends. One of them have been my friend for 20+years and she have never asked me för money, help or gifts!

[Kuya John]

3 minutes ago, stevewool said:

Wise words John, sometimes folk forget to laugh .

Time to put the kettle on, theres trouble at mill.

 

1 minute ago, Viking said:

With this, I agree 100%

But I also want to say that I have several genuin Philippino friends. One of them have been my friend for 20+years and she have never asked me för money, help or gifts!

A true friend is worth their weight in gold.