When Do You Start To Beleive

[chris49]

Maybe because the decision affects both of them.

 

Every case is different. Steve's wife was sent to nursing school in the Philippines, and she is now in the UK earning UK wages. It is 100% normal for a Filipina to be assisting her family back home. The question however, was more on whether these requests are legitimate or not and that's where the judgement comes into it.

[Jack Peterson]

It is 100% normal for a Filipina to be assisting her family back home. The question however, was more on whether these requests are legitimate or not and that's where the judgement comes into it.

 

 This of course where it all  starts and should finish, Big difference in assisting and Financing EH?

When there is ready Money available, it becomes to many, a Family asset. I have a SIL who gave up her work here because the Elder daughter in the States was silly enough to call the money she sent home as Gifts an allowance for Parties and things, now guess what? Yep! this is now looked on as Normal. 

Not too long ago during the Birthday Period 3 in a month, it was OH! Jack can you lend us So and So until the Allowance comes through. ALLOWANCE? 

My Wife asked what about the Job, OH! I don't need it now as Thingy sends us enough. Wrong thought Lady, I have been talking to "M" and he will stop it. He has now sent his wife out to work in the US to make up the Money she sends Home without his knowledge.

Of course she is not happy but for once "M" has stopped being the Goose and the "Golden Egg."

Biting the hand that feeds you in an emergency time can be fatal.

These two want to retire here in 6 or 7 years but as "M" has told me, the Nest egg is not growing with all this allowance business.

 

Each to our own of course but it has to be controlled all the time. This Guys is where once again, we are labelled Strict.

If we are not and just let it happen there will be nothing for us. I am not a Tight arse at all but we have what we have at the definite envy of some is  because, it is in our Pockets and not some easy Riders.

As we have said before, when you are here it will all become so very apparent.

Harsh maybe but then comes the time they should be Reminded, I married your Sister not your family.

 

 That's me.

 

Jack :)

[chris49]

it is in our Pockets and not some easy Riders

 

Agree here. Retirement pensions are seen here in the Philippines as free easy money. Notwithstanding the fact that we worked all our lives to get that.

 

However, setting up nest eggs when you are working is another one of those personal choice things. So as the question in the OP is phrased "When Do You Start to Believe" or maybe "When Do You Stop It"

 

I give everyone a chance and will stop it point blank after that.

[Medic Mike]

Now i know i have had my share of problems with the family, but also good things have happened too, but i just cant think of that one yet,

Anyway back to the thread,

I loaned some cash back to another sister a while back and it was a good sum , something where i just could not say bye too unless i had too sort of thing,

She wanted this sum to pay for the kids school fees and would pay me at the end of November, and a big fat YES i got the whole amount back,

So this got me thinking are they all bad, or is it you tell them i want it back and then they give it back,

I am unsure still about borrowing again and it does not help when my mind starts wondering about the next time , and who next too,

One sister in law has no chance of ever borrowing again , well infact there are two that i will not give anything,

 

I just cannot help think that they get together and try to get funds from Ems asking for this and that and we need your help,

In another thread about Dengue fever , did they think i would have sent this money to them what i was expecting back, by the way we have not heard anything about the nephew  who had this at all,

I must say its easy for me to say NO straight away then a few days later i shall ask whats it for and when can i get it back , but usually by then they have the money from somewhere else,

 

Anyway the funds are here and they are paying  for Micky Mouse tickets :thumbsup:

I know how you feel....it is great when you get some money paid back. I got 30K paid back last month that I never thought I would see again :)

[stevewool]

EMS is working. Why doesn't she have the free will to decide?

Chris are you saying I controlling Emma.

When someone ask for advice like your partner.friend or someone from the forum you give what you think is right.

Now it's up to those to either listen to what you have said or go there own way.

That's how me and Emma works.

Please don't imply Emma is not free to make her own mind up in anything she chooses

Edited December 1, 2015 by stevewool

[stevewool]

EMS is working. Why doesn't she have the free will to decide?

 

Why are you even involved?

 

And although Gina's income is smaller, that's the way I play it. And yes we got caught out a few times and that's why mother in law has to sign off against her land title for amounts eg 10K.....and we hold the title. And that's easier than buying it outright because as long as we hold it they can't get it back. But we are playing fair, everyone will get his/her share if we buy it. So their interests are protected.

So after reading this Chris.

It seems you are involved in your partners life. You have the title deeds for the just in case.

Well what ever works for you that's great.its a pity I could not get hold of security like that to make sure I would get something back

[chris49]

Steve. Over 3-4 months now you have several posts on the same topic, different scenario. The last one about the husband in Middle East and etc......yet you keep asking us what we would do. You and EMS are working, most of us are on pension and our wives don't work, a few exceptions, Jack and ??, whose wives are career women.

 

Now am I to answer as if I'm in your position or my own situation.

 

I gave both possible answers. I am not a person to say no easily, but I have limited money to loan or give away. At one time we were asked to cover wayward brother in laws gambling debts, loss of collateral property, also trying to force the mother to pawn/mortgage the land title. We can't let that happen we have a house on this piece of land on Gina's portion. But it's not subdivided. I took the chance to get the title in our possession for security. They can't sell or pawn the land if it's on lien to us and we hold the title.

 

As for your situation. Since the previous 2 occurences you are still getting hit, well also that's normal. I guess that's something you and EMS would have to sort out.

 

Last time she was sleepless worrying about the situation so you had posted.

 

I am sorry if it offends you. I'm  getting off the topic now.

[Methersgate]

Good idea to grab the land title and keep it safe.

 

My tally to date - coming up to 5 years...

 

A brother and a sister have failed to pay back loans that they requested (10K and 20K)  so they won't be getting any more. Another brother got a surgical operation (50K) as a gift, not a loan, and a niece got a laptop, (£450) whilst her widowed mother does get occasional small gifts of 2-5K . Another sister got some dental work (6K). Parents got some work on their house and a new sala set, total 50K.  And the parents will get something for Christmas, as they always do. So I reckon I am up to date...

 

BUT...

 

Wedding may be coming up!

 

Someone remind me of how many carabaos and pigs I have to supply to my father in law and the current prices of a carabao and a pig!! :rolleyes:

Edited December 1, 2015 by Methersgate

[stevewool]

Chris it offends me when you suggest Emma may not be in control of her own mind.

As for asking for advice i will still ask.it does not bother me at all if some one thinks I am silly or any thing else.Good advice is always welcome.

But again to you and anyone else you don't have to reply to any post if you don't want too.

[Jack Peterson]

 Not wanting to take sides on this but in all fairness I can see something of both Sides, I am sure Steve, that Chris is only voicing what he thinks you may wish to hear on how things are here. However, if this is not so, then I fear he will be quiet on Events . We all view these things so differently and answer in a way we hope is understood. Obviously this is not I fear, the case on this one but and I say this with all honesty, that as we say, Boots on the ground will be your guide to obtaining security for any Future Large loans. I for one, have never sanctioned or even talked about Loans when I have been away working. I am sure my friend, that as  I said in an earlier post, When you are here it will all come together and become apparent, then you can start to secure the Security you wish. :thumbsup:   

Lets hope any ill will is soon mended, If fact "least said, soonest Mended" as my Gran used to say. 

 

Jack :unsure:   ( with his sensitive head on) :)