Best Place To Find Wife?

[Alby]

Can I pitch in my 2 cents here? :)

 

OK .. here it goes...

 

Albert, and despite his due diligence, thought he had met his love of his life and spent 8 moths of chatting with her to discover that she had cheated on him!

What does that tell you?

 

It tells you that online relationship is not going to work (some readers might object). So, you better move there first and look around when you are there.

 

This is marriage. Which means, you would be giving your keys to another person. If you do this online, then I'd have to assume that it's not important to you hence, you'd deserve what you get :bash:

 

It's always better to do this in person. And if you ever do it online, don't send a single penny no matter!

 

Being naive myself. I thought it would be a good idea to do a simple scan of some candidates before checking personally.

But after several online years, at the end, and after some 70+ women, I came to one conclusion. It's all a scam!

[Thomas]

I have noticed that many filipinos rush things, if you like each other, you should get married, right away. You need to deal with that, while so many are nice, that doesn't mean you are suited to each other.

Yes. Take it slow have the "bohnus" it test their personality capacity of thinking ahead (most Filipins fail)

plus it sort away many scammers, because if they don't get any money fast, then (most of) them skip trying and concentrate on trying to scam others (except perhaps there are some scamers with thinking ahead capacity, aiming at scam much more through marriage :)

[robert k]

Alby, welcome to the battle of the sexes :thumbsup:. I don't know any human being who never tries to manipulate things so they get what they want, but some give alot back, more than they receive. If the two people can't strike a happy medium it's going to take alot more work to have any kind of marriage. I remember hearing of a Cuban couple who have not spoken to each other for 30 years, they have 4 kids. There must be something there. I think they show amazing commitment.

[Will]

You could always try looking for a Filipina there in Indiana. FInd a Filipino grocery store or restaurant and the titas working there will be throwing girls at you! (More than likely her daughters or nieces)

[robert k]

In the RP my fiancee introduced me to many people and several of them asked me if I had any unmarried friends. The wet market may not seem like an energetic dating scene but after a couple days the people I and my fiancee bought from repeatedy were asking me if I had any unmarried friends. It just isn't that tough. If you make a friend online and they turn out to not be the one, they probably know 20 women that they could introduce you to. If none of them are a match, they probably know many someones. You could also get some t-shirts made up that say "I'm single!" and or flirt a little with any woman who smiles at you. I have heard some guys use the cheeziest lines, like ask a woman to help you with your cell phone, the problem is you can't find her number in it :hystery:. Smile alot, there is alot to smile about, some that isn't wonderful, but if you are smiling, you better your chances of having a good experience, sort of a positive feedback loop. :)

[davewe]

 

Albert, and despite his due diligence, thought he had met his love of his life and spent 8 moths of chatting with her to discover that she had cheated on him!

What does that tell you?

 

It tells you that online relationship is not going to work (some readers might object). 

 

It's all a scam!

I completely agree. If you date a person in the real world for 8 months it is impossible for her to cheat on you! Oh wait - maybe not :)

 

I agree that in any relationship due diligence is imperative. BTW, people get married and live together for decades and sometimes someone still cheats. It's a sad but true reality that partially accounts for the 50% divorce rate in the US.

 

The fact is that you can meet many good Filipinas online. But until you've met in person it's not a complete relationship. While I would say that meeting multiple times in person is a necessity, I know many guys who married after only one trip to the Philippines and have happy marriages.

 

In fact for every obvious truth I can think of about marriage, I know dramatic Fil-Am exceptions: only met once, huge age gaps, financial disparities, etc. And yet I know dozens of happily married couples who broke every alleged rule.

 

Fact is if the rules were so effective there wouldn't be that 50% divorce rate.

 

So be careful, chat with plenty of girls, meet one or more, and choose one - or maybe decide not to choose one.

 

I myself had a Filipina gf which ended up exploding unhappily. But by then I had made many Filipina friends. The one who stuck by me through thick and thin for almost two years, despite the fact that I had "chosen" another, ended up being the one I married (see avatar).

 

So there are no rules. Good luck and enjoy the ride!

Edited March 15, 2014 by davewe

[robert k]

Davewe, I never said that someone could not cheat on you after 8 months, I said they can't hide their true nature that long. I didn't say I thought we should marry after 8 months of chat, I said we should be exclusive until we decided to marry or not.

 

If you don't make it clear you want to be exclusive, they can't cheat on you because they owe you nothing!

 

 But seeing their true nature doesn't help if you aren't paying attention. 90 percent of the after tragedy stories I hear, there is always mention of something that should have been a warning sign that someone ignored. I think the other ten percent just failed to mention the warning sign they ignored, or they didn't wait at least 8 months. :1 (103):

 

A young friend of mine told me the married woman who was sleeping with him was going to get a divorce so they could get married. I warned him that if she will do it with him, she will do it to him. Sure enough, they lasted about 16 months. My friend was telling me he was going to kill the guy. I asked him why, wasn't my friend  doing the exact same thing before? I did tell him that he should tell off the guy who caused his problem..... there is a mirror in that washroom over there.

Edited March 15, 2014 by robert k

[davewe]

Davewe, I never said that someone could not cheat on you after 8 months, I said they can't hide their true nature that long. I didn't say I thought we should marry after 8 months of chat, I said we should be exclusive until we decided to marry or not.

Actually I was not quoting you, but the guy after you who commented that "What does that tell you? It tells you that online relationship is not going to work (some readers might object). So, you better move there first and look around when you are there."

 

I simply pointed out that it is equally easy to get cheated on in person as online. But in either scenario you have to do you homework and be careful. Online relations can work or at least can work as a beginning point. I am sorry your relationship (similar to my 1st one) did not work out. Will cross my fingers for you when you begin another one.

 

​I would also agree that all things being equal living in the Philippines and dating there might be a safer methodology, but most men don't have that as an option. 

 

YMMV.

Edited March 15, 2014 by davewe

[robert k]

Davewe, it must be the similarity of 8 months that made me think you were addressing my post. In fact, my relationship is intact. It's the other guy who got the surprise bun in the oven. Don't know if I should put a smilie after that?

 

Have a great day/ evening/ night, what have you wherever you are. :)

[jpbago]

   American32, you won't learn much from the men who tell you they met a Filipina online, came here and are still together after 25 years. Life is not 100% success. You have to talk to the men who have met many online who scammed them, then after they came to the PI to meet their special someones, they had 10 failed relationships. You can learn from them.

  If you want to get rich, look at what the poor people are doing and don't do it!