Single with Money = Great Life in the Philippines

[Mike J]

11 hours ago, bows00 said:

Totally disagree.  Especially in marriage.  Open, honest communication is the crust of trust.  If you can't do that, you got the wrong partner.  

Since you did ask about the how to talk about financial resources.

You need to realize that if your open, honest communication contains the sames information as you posted to this forum, it will almost certainly become known to the family, and then to the purok, and then to the barangay, and etc, etc until it reaches people who will want to take it from you.   Before marriage all your "significant other" needs to know is that you are capable of supporting her.  You can extend that pledge to her parents and/or immediate family if you are capable and intend to do so.  Any knowledge beyond that is neither required nor justified and, in fact, could prove to be dangerous.  If you have plans for a prenup this might also be the time to tell her that it would be a condition of matrimony.  Again, no details, just that there would be a prenup and she would not be "kicked to the curb".

Just my opinion.

[bows00]

On 1/29/2020 at 12:39 PM, Mike J said:

 Before marriage all your "significant other" needs to know is that you are capable of supporting her. 

That is obvious.  My dilemma is once the priest says you are now ONE...  After marriage, how do you approach this?  I do have a girl in mind.   But I'm not sure she could handle my financial situation if I disclosed it honestly.  And I know it has to be eventually discussed.  There are always problems associated with money, even in abundance.  Maybe this forum is not the best source of solutions...

[Mike J]

40 minutes ago, bows00 said:

Maybe this forum is not the best source of solutions...

Perhaps you are right. 

[stevewool]

43 minutes ago, bows00 said:

That is obvious.  My dilemma is once the priest says you are now ONE...  After marriage, how do you approach this?  I do have a girl in mind.   But I'm not sure she could handle my financial situation if I disclosed it honestly.  And I know it has to be eventually discussed.  There are always problems associated with money, even in abundance.  Maybe this forum is not the best source of solutions...

Do you have to get married, these days it’s supposed to be just as much fun as being married then not being married  , you could then just go about living as you are now but with a regular girlfriend / partner and not having to tell her all about your cash,, plus if she or you turn out wrong for each other then it’s just goodbye it was fun.

[Tommy T.]

I can't help it... I have to respond here...

I heard advice from someone many years ago: he said "If if floats, flies or f***s, rent it. Don't buy it." My advice is that if you fancy a woman who you don't feel you can trust regarding your millions and golf-course-view condo and thousands in monthly income, then you should consider finding another woman?

Perhaps you should look at this forum I just found online?

https://www.millionairematch.com/forums

It looks perfect for you...

Just my honest opinion and with all due respect...

Edited February 11, 2020 by Tommy T.

[Gator]

To me the issue isn’t so much whether you can trust your wife or even if she’ll understand how to manage wealth. It’s as Mike J pointed out - who’s she going gossip to and/or brag to about it? We all know the story about telling 2 friends who then tell 2 friends and so on. Sooner or later someone with criminal intent will find out and the potential for being scammed, set up, stolen from or out right being kidnapped for what you worked hard to attain is far too great for me.
 

IMHO it’s best to keep quiet about it and keep the target we all wear on our backs as small as possible. I don’t even disclose the real amount of rent I pay to any of the locals I meet. And I certainly wouldn’t disclose my financial worth (not that’s is much, lol). I plan to stay single as I enjoy the freedom it gives me and I enjoy “playing the field”. Even if I should find a gf for a LTR, I wouldn’t get into personal financial matters other then I have enough to support myself and, to a limited degree, help/support her if needed. 

[Viking]

16 hours ago, bows00 said:

My dilemma is once the priest says you are now ONE...  After marriage, how do you approach this?  I do have a girl in mind.   But I'm not sure she could handle my financial situation if I disclosed it honestly.  And I know it has to be eventually discussed.  There are always problems associated with money, even in abundance.  Maybe this forum is not the best source of solutions...

I think you have gotten alot of great advices, but to me it sounds like you are not willing to listen, because you did not get the answers you were looking for.

Do as you please and good luck to you.

[graham59]

'Single with Money = Great Life in the Philippines'

I only wish somebody had told me that before I got married !  

[Mike J]

On 1/29/2020 at 7:54 AM, BrettGC said:

I showed your post to my missus, her reaction was "Is he stupid?".

Begins the thread single, rich, wonderful life, why would I ever want to marry, blah, blah, blah

Two weeks later.  Honesty in marriage.  I am so so rich and wealthy,  how to explain my wealth to a filipina who "barely understands how to open an account"

Give me a break. 

 

 

 

[manofthecoldland]

1 hour ago, Mike J said:

Begins the thread single, rich, wonderful life, why would I ever want to marry, blah, blah, blah

Two weeks later.  Honesty in marriage.  I am so so rich and wealthy,  how to explain my wealth to a filipina who "barely understands how to open an account"

Give me a break. 

 

 

 

A change of heart, perhaps ?  Who hasn't succumbed to that on occasion.

A 'total eclipse of the heart', and mind as well is another thing altogether.  I used it think it mainly affected youth, but here in the PI it seems to afflict any single retiree who is a man of independent means, despite age.

Filipina Fever is not yet recognized by the medical establishment, but it appears to exist.  

When you contract this seemingly benign malady, you are unaware of how irrational your behavior  appears to others in your home culture. Your desires and idealized projections of the fantasized future that awaits you overrides your normal wariness and self-protection defense mechanisms. You're now willing to take a blind Lovers Leap off a cliff with little assurance of where you will land.  

If lucky.... deep, sweet water. If unlucky...... ragged rocks of splintered, black obsidian. 

Your friends yell warnings. but you have a true-believer's faith in your judgement. You are 'The Exception'. Your situation is unique. You are smarter than and quite different from those who have leaped before you.

Here goes........"Geranimo-oooooo"   

( A loud 'SPLASH ! ', or 'SPLAAAT  ! ' follows)

If you find yourself swimming amidst tropical fish keep an eye out for the families of sharks and cruising barracuda that abound. You are only a feeding opportunity for them in this amoral part of sea where their individual survival is the Primary Rule. 

Me ???  I'm still swimming with small bits and pieces missing now,  a few other memorable bite scars, but pretty much intact.  I've been lucky... so far. But I know more lads that hit the rocks or got eaten by the sharks than those that emerged unscathed.  

Tropical waters can be quite deceptive.  Alluringly idyllic, they are not an Eden of predominately harmless and beautiful creatures that seemingly abound.  

"Hello, my Pretty ......   Ouch !    I can't believe I got stung again. 

When will I ever learn ?